Grief and Milestones in Life by Barbara Gillett Saunders, Grief Counsellor Thanatologist While travelling in Alaska, I spoke with a woman who, approximately aged 65, shed tears as she talked about the milestones experienced in her life without the presence of her parents who died when she was 4.
When you read this, it is easy to see how grief can last for decades, a lifetime. This is not good or bad, it just is what it is. This woman openly shared some of her experiences knowing I would understand. For yourself, you can think of numerous milestones you have shared with others and some that no one knows about. Everyone has their own idea of what is significant in their life. Events that do not seem important at the time, may be memories that surface when you least expect it. Sometimes, these are triggers caused by watching others doing things you have done. Perhaps, the woman I met is like the rest of us. Her experiences shaped who she is now. I wonder if, when watching her family grow up, she sees what she missed and is sad, or if she is living these events through her children and grandchildren for the first time. As a side note -- another component to consider here is the opportunity for deeper healing and understanding of grief and loss on differing levels. As mentioned in the past, grief is mental, emotional, physical and spiritual. Being able to listen to someone’s story of grief and loss is the biggest
I am certain her situation resonates with some of you and provides a better understanding for others. Imagine the number of milestones in a lifetime not shared with someone who is no longer in your life. • Going to school for the first time • Your first time riding a bike • Your first time of anything in your life • Excitement of doing something new and different • Changing from a child to an adult • Getting your driver’s license • Graduations & celebrations, etc. • Your career • Getting married • Having children and then grandchildren Her story continued with milestones magnified by the sad and happy times in life; the moments that took her breath away and the moments that inspired a sense of awe and wonder. I could tell by the look in her eyes and the tilt of her head that this woman was back in time to the moments when those milestone events occurred. Her heart still tugged as she displayed sadness at not knowing her parents. This sadness also encompassed the fact her children and grandchildren would not know their grandparents. Hometown St. Thomas Geoffrey Rae Managing Editor / Sales Geoff@villagerpublications.com 519-495-7177 All articles written by Geoff Rae unless otherwise noted. Copy Editor – Peter Bloch-Hansen Publisher – Barb Botten barb@villagerpublications.com Graphic Artist – Cathy Woo d Photos, community events and article suggestions welcome. Please email hometown@villagerpublications.com. We look forward to hearing from you . Copyright @ 2015 Villager Publications. All rights reserved. This magazine or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the Publisher. Information presented has been compiled from sources believed to be accurate at the time of printing however the Publisher assumes no responsibility for errors or omissions.
gift you can offer another. Few words are needed. Listen when you can.
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Page 44 Hometown St. Thomas • December 2024
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