NEXT AVENUE - SPECIAL SECTION
ATough Question Reveals an Identity Crisis By Dan Kadlec
My Dad bowled. I played softball. These were the only men's groups I ever knew. So, I had no idea what to expect when my new friend Oliver invited me to a restaurant with three other fellows I had never met. The only thing I knew for sure was that I could leave my bat and ball at home. When this dinner took place, in the summer of 2021, we were emerging — briefly, it turned out — from the COVID-19 lockdown. So, our social skills had rusted. T-shirts were the chief fashion statement at the table; small talk came slowly. Oliver was fully occupied reveling in his creation: the first in-person interaction involving unacquainted humans in more than a year. His obvious contentment had me feeling like I was part of some pre-post-pandemic social experiment.
haven't triggered my pension. I certainly feel like I am still working.
Then again, I'm under no deadline pressure. I write what I want when I want. That sounds a lot like not working. Until this group gathered to come out of COVID isolation, I had yet to confront my life change in such a stark and public way. I didn't have to. Everyone was at home. …
Finally, Steve, who identified himself as an economist, seized control and bore in as an economist would.
"Why don't we start this way," he said, surveilling the table. "Who is still working?"
The question ‘who’s still working?’ gave this new retiree pause
"So, you're retired," Steve said.
In that moment, I came to grips. It didn't matter that I was busy or fulfilled, or how I thought of myself. It didn't matter that I was enjoying filling pages with words more than at any time in my past. The world saw me as retired. I might as well own it, I thought. I smiled and said, "Yes, I guess I am."
Steve looked squarely at me, as if I was the most puzzling. I had put on a spiffy collared shirt, which stood out in this sea of crew-neck cotton. Maybe that drew his attention, which was unfortunate for me because this conversation starter left me momentarily wordless. Oh God, I thought. How do I answer? I still do project work. I’m writing a memoir, which I hope to sell. I'm not collecting Social Security and
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