STAYING CONNECTED
HOW TO KEEP YOUR FAMILY CLOSE IN A BUSY WORLD
REMEMBER YOUR RITUALS Rituals make up the backbone of individual families and society at large. Most people wouldn’t dream of abandoning their holiday traditions, so why forgo the smaller rituals that bring families together? Whether it’s eating dinner at the same table each evening, watching a movie together every Thursday night, or going on a monthly getaway, make sure these traditions aren’t canceled. If your family doesn’t have many rituals, a great way to connect is to start some. MAKE EVERY MOMENT COUNT As cliche as it sounds, when you don’t have much time together, it’s crucial to be present for every minute of it. If you have a rare half hour at home with one of your kids, make a point to spend it in the same room and try to start a conversation. If you squeeze in a romantic dinner with your spouse, turn off your phones before the food comes. Listening to each other without distractions will strengthen your relationship. HUG IT OUT Physical contact is vital for closeness. When you get the chance, hug your kids, hold hands with your spouse, and do physical activities as a family, like hiking, biking, or even playing group sports. It’s been scientifically proven that physical closeness leads to emotional closeness, so if you’re low on time, take advantage of that shortcut!
If you feel like you’ve hardly seen your kids since the school year started, you’re not alone. Americans are way too busy — from childhood onward, we’re always running hither and thither, packing in as many after-school activities, work-related meetings, and social engagements as possible. It’s a problem so pervasive that it has a name: time scarcity. Families feel time scarcity keenly after school starts in September, when children’s schedules explode with engagements. But all hope for close ties isn’t lost; there are ways to stay connected with your spouse and kids, even in an increasingly busy world. Here are some ideas from counselors, teachers, and psychologists who claim to have mastered the art.
HOW SUSAN FOWLER MOTIVATES US Susan Fowler has done Pilates at North County Water and Sports Therapy Center for over a decade. Over that time, she and Beth have developed a close relationship. “Beth’s such a problem solver,” Susan says. “She cares so deeply about health and well-being. I even featured her in my book, ‘Why Motivating People Doesn’t Work … And What Does’ alongside other masters of motivation.” tactics, she has an evolutionary idea: Motivation is a skill. “To master your motivation,” she writes, “create PATIENT SPOTLIGHT
choice, connection, and competence.” To change your behaviors for the better, rather than be externally prodded, Susan says we need to believe we are electing to change, we need to feel an affinity for the change, and we need to feel like we’re improving as a result. When those factors coincide, our transformation doesn’t feel forced or superficial. “You have the power to change your behaviors,” Susan says. “But to be successful in changing, you need an evidence-based framework of motivation and techniques for applying it.” We are honored to work with an amazing patient like Susan Fowler. To learn more about her work and how it might help you thrive and achieve your goals, head to SusanFowler.com or talk to Beth about what she’s learned and how she’s applying it in her practice and personal life.
If Susan finds Beth and the team here motivating, we can’t think of a bigger compliment because Susan has spent the past 40 years studying motivation science and helping rewire our thinking about what motivates people. “About 40 years ago, I chose to become a vegetarian,” Susan recalls. “It wasn’t hard, and that confused me. I wanted to understand why I could make this major change so easily, yet other goals proved elusive.” Susan immersed herself in research exploring the true nature of human motivation. “It takes a long time for concepts to move from academia to the mainstream. My work is dedicated to getting to the other side of complexity and helping people make sense of motivation science.”
Susan’s new book, “Master Your Motivation,” synthesizes her decades of research into a practical guide. Rather than outdated carrot-or-stick
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