Take a look at our September newsletter!
5 Steps to Rebuilding Your Confidence USE THESE STRATEGIES TO OVERCOME SELF-DOUBT
One aspect of the divorce process people don’t talk about often enough is the fact that it can trigger an identity crisis. When you let go of your identity as a “spouse” and pivot to being single, that can really shake up your self-confidence.
I make, I trust myself to see it through until it becomes the best decision.” With that mindset, I’ve committed to doing whatever it takes to succeed, even if that means altering my course. Think about what your most confident self would be like, and hold that image in your mind as you move forward. 3. Make small commitments and follow through. If you lack confidence, what you really lack is trust in yourself. You need to rebuild that trust by setting small goals and following through with them. Make one commitment to yourself each day, like “I’ll go outside and spend five minutes in the fresh air,” “I’ll make one sales call,” or “I’ll open my new bank account.” Then, follow through on that commitment. When you consistently show up for yourself, you’ll learn to trust yourself. 4. Build on previous successes . Self-confidence is like a muscle. The more you exercise it by setting goals and achieving them, the stronger it will become. Once you’re confident you can follow through on small commitments, add bigger ones. Then watch yourself grow. 5. Practice positive self-talk. When you feel negativity creeping in, tell yourself, “I can’t control the whole world. I can only control myself and my commitments.” That will help you stay focused on your most confident self. As you set off on this journey, remember that self-confidence is a spectrum. Even if you’re doing everything “right,” you won’t feel like a 10/10 every day. Sometimes, your self- confidence muscle will get sore, and that’s okay! Just remember your mantras and pick yourself up tomorrow. If it works for me, it might work for you, too. –Sara Khaki
My team and I have helped thousands of people who have gone through divorce navigate that low point, and we’ve learned a few confidence- boosting strategies along the way. If you’re feeling low because of a divorce or other life change, these steps could help rebuild your confidence and turn your mindset around. 1. Reframe your “failure.” Yes, maybe you failed — but that doesn’t mean you need to let failure define you. Instead of viewing your divorce, lost job, or parenting mistake as a failure, you should think of it as the endpoint of a series of choices you made in your life. By reframing your failure as a choice, you can take back your power and control. It won’t undo what happened, but you’ll feel like an active participant in your own life again. Instead of letting your failure define you, you should allow it to motivate you to make better choices in the future. That agency is where self- confidence starts! 2. Identify your ultimate goal. Imagine the confident self you’re striving to become. What is your outlook on the world? I’ll go first. When I’m feeling uber-confident, I think, “Whatever decision “Self-confidence is like a muscle. The more you exercise it by setting goals and achieving them, the stronger it will become.”
Empower Yourself and a Friend With Our Guidance Don’t Miss These Complimentary Virtual Events!
through the divorce process and get expert advice and support from Kathleen Shack, the founder and CEO of Family Solutions Counseling, LLC. Kathleen comes up with the topics for each support group session and leads group discussions to help you understand yourself and your divorce. She’d love to see you there and help you build a new community. DIVORCING A NARCISSIST (COMPLIMENTARY WEBINAR) When: Thursday, Sept. 28, at 6:30 p.m.
… then they very well might be!
Our complimentary divorce support groups and seminars are available online! Register for upcoming events and invite your friends to gain knowledge, resources, and emotional support to help you feel empowered while you go through major life changes — all without leaving home. HAPPILY EVER AFTER DIVORCE SUPPORT GROUP MEETING (VIRTUAL SUPPORT GROUP) When: Saturday, Sept. 9, at 10 a.m. When researchers surveyed divorced and separated people living in England, 51% of them admitted to feeling lonely — and we’d be willing to bet that here
It’s possible to live happily with a narcissistic spouse, but those relationships often become toxic. If you believe someone you love is stuck in an unhappy marriage, share the link to our free “Divorcing a
Scan to Register and Share
Narcissist” webinar coming up on Thursday, Sept. 28. The quick, informative, virtual course will help them decide the best steps for their mental health.
in the U.S., that number is even higher! If you’re divorced and identify with that majority, you can escape the feeling of isolation by joining our Happily Ever After Divorce Support Group. The group meets virtually once a month, so you can join from your office, your couch, or your vacation! When you attend, you’ll meet other ADLG clients going
Is your friend’s spouse a narcissist? If they …
Constantly put your friend down and point out their flaws Threaten to take or destroy your friend’s things when they’re upset Try to control or abuse your friend verbally or financially
Scan to Register and Share
PARENTING FOR RESILIENCE: EMPOWERING YOUR CHILD’S MENTAL STRENGTH
WHAT IS MENTAL STRENGTH? BetterUp, the world’s largest mental health and coaching startup, defines mental strength as “the cognitive and emotional skill of reframing negative thoughts and adverse circumstances.” Essentially, it’s a child’s ability to “turn that frown upside down” in a healthy way all on their own. Mentally strong children also experience less stress, more motivation, and increased adaptability. They’re better at viewing challenges and setbacks as temporary roadblocks instead of end-all-be-alls, and they can self-soothe in times of fear or anxiety. By internally reframing negative emotions, mentally strong children will grow to become adults who are more connected to their true selves. They are more motivated to push through anything that may stand in their way. SO, HOW DO YOU RAISE MENTALLY STRONG KIDS? The answer is simple yet challenging. All the benefits mentioned are available to children as long as parents follow one simple rule: Let children solve their own problems. To many parents, the idea of leaving their children to suffer through hardship alone is terrifying, but the truth is that the more problems you solve for them, the less competent they become. Think about it. What does solving their problems for them teach? That when the going gets tough, their parents will sort it all out, and everything will be fine. As adults, however, we know this couldn’t be further from the truth. So, next time your children come to you with a problem, give them the task of solving it themselves. Ask them, “What do you think we should do about that problem?” and refrain from giving any advice until they’ve come up with a few ideas of their own! Your guidance and encouragement will help them build confidence in their own problem-solving skills.
Parents want to raise kind, happy, fulfilled, and resilient children. And while thousands of parenting books discuss changing diapers, nutrition for growing tots, or even the ins and outs of a child’s brain, few resources exist to help parents raise mentally strong children.
Before going any further, defining what “mentally strong” means is essential because teaching a child something you don’t know yourself is nearly impossible.
Listen to the newest episodes from ADLG’s Sara Khaki and Shawna Woods!
Traveling alone can be a memorable and adventurous experience — it’s a great way to step outside your comfort zone and continue learning about yourself. While solo travel is chock-full of exciting perks, staying alone in a hotel can be dangerous if you aren’t careful to take certain safety precautions. The next time you take a trip by yourself, keep these tips in mind! CHECK IN THE SMART WAY. When you check in to your hotel, always ask for two room keys — this way, hotel staff and anyone else in earshot will automatically assume someone else is traveling with you. If they ask how many guests will be staying with you, don’t admit you are alone. If you have the option, request a room that isn’t on the ground floor, as research shows they are the easiest to break into! INSPECT YOUR ROOM. As soon as you enter the room, make a quick sweep to ensure no one is present in closets, in the shower, or under the bed and that nothing appears to be amiss. It’s always best to be safe rather than sorry! KEEP YOUR EYES PEELED. Any time you leave your room, even if it’s just to scope out the vending machines, be alert for anyone watching or following you, and always keep your room number discreet. If you ever feel like someone is following you, get off on a different floor and avoid going to your room. USE THE DEADBOLT. If the door in your room comes equipped with a deadbolt, use it! This extra safety measure keeps even those with a key from entering your room without your knowing! Keep Yourself Safe While Traveling Alone
‘Happily Ever After Divorce Podcast’
Concierge Partner’s Corner Money Made Easy: Unlock Financial Secrets With oXYGen Financial
Unless you’re a financial expert, odds are you have about 1,000 questions about money, like …
Which investment is the safest, and which is the most lucrative?
How much should I save for retirement? Should I start a side hustle? And if so, how?
“My only regret is that I didn’t start my divorce with this group. I began with a different office closer to home, and after seven months of pitiful service and thousands out the window, I switched. Having zero experience with divorce (married one time for 24 years) or attorneys for that matter, I didn’t even know what I didn’t know. Ashley and Whitney were compassionate, helpful, and professional. I only wish I had begun the whole process here. I highly recommend this group and hope never to need them again!” –Frances B. WHAT OUR CLIENTS ARE SAYING! • How do I keep my nest egg growing through a bad economy? • What’s the best way to discuss money with my current or future partner? • How can I quickly and easily save on my taxes? Those are just a few questions our friends at oXYGen Financial can answer for you. When you work with oXYGen’s team of financial advisors, they’ll assign you a Private CFO (chief financial officer) to help you make smart money decisions for yourself and your family. The experts at oXYGen specialize in helping people work through life transitions and save for retirement, so if you’ve recently divorced, they’ll know what you need! Visit oXYGenFinancial.com to learn more and download their free financial guides.
SHARE THE HOTEL INFORMATION. Let your family and friends know where you are staying! Provide them with the hotel name, address, and
phone number in case an emergency arises!
Traveling solo is a thrilling experience, but it comes with some extra steps to stay safe! Trust your instincts and use
these tips to ensure your trip goes down in the memory books as safe and exciting!
Pasta Maker Turns Vegetables Into Nutritious, Delicious Pasta
Do you want to eat healthier, but vegetables just aren’t your thing? What about pasta? Does that sound more like your style?
If so, healthy eating just got a little easier — and more fun. Yes, we said fun! Philips has created an artisan pasta maker that lets you make pasta from any liquid. While there are many videos online of people adding strawberry milk or root beer to their pasta makers, this product actually offers a really easy way for people to incorporate full servings of veggies into their lives without having to suffer through a plate full of steamed broccoli or spinach. All you need to do is add flour and slowly pour your chosen liquid into the top of the machine, and voilà ! The pasta squeezes out the front into your preferred form, ready to boil and enjoy! The recommended daily amount of vegetables for Americans is approximately 2 1/2 cups a day, which can seem like a lot if you’re trying to force them down. Of course, eating whole veggies with every meal is always best, but if you or your child is a picky eater, pasta isn’t a bad way to get that minimum amount in. But how do you turn a vegetable into a pasta? You blend it! Simply add your desired amount of veggies to a blender with enough water to make it easy to pour into the machine, and you’re done!
So, if you decide to go the pasta route, here are a few vegetables we recommend blending up:
• • •
• • •
If you want to mix it up, you can always blend multiple vegetables together!
Also, you don’t need the pasta maker to make your vegetable pasta dreams a reality — you can use this same method to make it by hand, too! But, if you’re interested in the pasta-maker route, you can find it online by looking up “Philips Artisan Pasta & Noodle Maker.”
‘My Spouse Lives in Another Country — Can We Still Get Divorced?’
3 STEPS TO A SUCCESSFUL INTERNATIONAL DIVORCE
3. Wait for a determination of local authority. The state of Georgia may or may not have the power to dictate your spouse’s actions. Their level of control depends on factors like your spouse’s citizenship, where they live, whether child custody is involved, and how you plan to divide your property. Those are just three of the many hoops you’ll need to jump through to complete an international divorce. Fortunately, you don’t have
It might surprise you to hear that 1 in every 10 people living here in Georgia was born in another country. We’re a state full of immigrants from places like Iran, Mexico, India, Jamaica, Korea, and Guatemala — ADLG founder Sara Khaki included! We love that our state is a melting pot, but that diversity can sometimes make divorce complicated. If you live in Georgia and your spouse lives in your home country or had to move somewhere abroad
1. File a petition for divorce at your local court. To do this, you just need to meet the state and local residency requirements. 2. Either deliver a divorce summons to your spouse OR ask them to sign an affidavit confirming they’ve been served. The latter is much easier because your spouse can do it remotely. However, if they won’t cooperate, our team will help you chase them down and serve them in person if we have to.
to figure out the details alone. If you or someone you know is starting this process, make sure you have an experienced
for work, it might seem impossible to legally divorce them. Luckily, that’s not the case! An international divorce is entirely possible as long as you have the right attorney.
international divorce attorney at your side!
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