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BERT’S BUZZ SEPT/OCT 2025
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The People Who Came Before Looking Back on the Lives That Shaped My Family Tree
When I think about National Grandparents Day, I can’t help but feel like the holiday was made for families like mine, families shaped by the stories, quirks, accents, and hard-earned wisdom of grandparents who came from so many different walks of life. I was lucky enough to grow up with a whole cast of them,
My grandmother was the anchor of the family. Even after my grandpa Parner passed, she was the one making calls to check on everyone, organizing holiday meals, playing the violin until her fingers wouldn’t let her anymore. I still remember her Cornish pasties, just one of many delicious Cornish dishes she learned from her mother-in-law to dutifully carry on the Parnall’s Cornish heritage. She lived alone for 20 years after his death, healthy and sharp as ever, watering down her scotch and walking every day. From her, I learned that strength and tenderness are not opposites; they’re partners. On the other side of the family tree was my granddad in Louisiana, my biological mother’s father, a man with a knack for business and
each one leaving behind their own legacy, big or small, that became part of the fabric of who I am. Take my grandfather on my father’s side, William Edward Parnall, or as we all called him, Grandpa “Parner,” thanks to my toddler self’s inability
to say his name correctly. He was a man of towering intellect and presence, the kind of person who spoke seven languages, read Greek for fun, and delivered advice in these short, perfectly timed phrases that stuck with you for years. A brilliant orthopedic surgeon who somehow found time to earn master’s degrees in philology, he carried himself with a kind of gravitas that could have been intimidating if it weren’t for his warmth. My grandmother, his wife, was his equal in every way, an accomplished violinist who grew up speaking Italian and only had the chance to attend college because she could earn her way in through music. I always loved the story of how they met: She was playing violin for a group of singers, he was one of the singers with that deep, resonant voice of his, and he offered to carry her violin home. She didn’t need anyone to
a heart for people. He ran everything from restaurants to gas stations to a building supply company with the charming logo “BP,” which I assumed as a kid stood for “Bert Parnall,” naturally. He had a habit of checking in on friends every night, just a quick
call to make sure they were okay. There was something
profoundly kind about that ritual. He taught me about generosity, about staying connected, and certainly planted the seed for the entrepreneur in me.
Then there were Joe and Bettye, my mother Kathy’s parents. Joe was a Presbyterian minister who married my
wife and me with a promise that his weddings were “guaranteed.” I never had the heart to ask what the refund policy was, but I know for certain he would’ve jokingly said I’d get my money back. He had that kind of humor, quiet, steady, full of love without needing to prove it. Bettye, now 94, remains one of the toughest, kindest women I know, having raised kids through countless moves with unwavering strength.
carry her instrument, thank you very much, but he walked beside her anyway, and by the time he proposed, they were already partners in every sense. Their marriage, lasting over half a century, taught me about loyalty, respect, and the beauty of two people challenging each other to be better every single day.
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Pumpkin Spice and Everything Nice
Apple Picking, Pumpkin Patches, and Perfect Fall Days in New Mexico
Fall in Albuquerque is pure magic, and there’s no better way to soak it all in than by exploring its festive pumpkin patches, harvest celebrations, and bustling farmers markets! From hayrides and corn mazes to apple cider and handmade crafts, the city and its surroundings come alive with golden sunsets and the delicious scent of kettle corn. Albuquerque’s fall festivities and markets are all about fun, flavor, and unforgettable seasonal memories.
goods. Sip on warm cider, stock up on pumpkins and squash, and shop handcrafted wellness products and unique art while enjoying live music and vibrant festivities. It’s the perfect way to savor the harvest season right in the heart of the city.
BIG JIM FARMS U-PICK All October long! BigJimFarms.com
Get into the fall spirit at Big Jim Farms U-Pick in Albuquerque! Open daily from 8 a.m. to 6 p.m., this family-friendly farm lets you pick your own pumpkins, green chiles, and sunflowers while enjoying farm animals, vintage tractors, and festive décor perfect for a photo op. Admission is free; you only pay for what you pick! Perfect for pumpkin picking, picnics, and autumn adventures, Big Jim Farms offers something for everyone. Whether carving pumpkins, exploring sunflower fields, or saying hello to friendly animals, it’s a hands-on fall experience you won’t want to miss.
MCCALL’S PUMPKIN PATCH Sept. 20–Oct. 26 McCallPumpkinPatch.com
Bring the whole family to McCall’s Pumpkin Patch near Moriarty for fall fun at its best! This autumn festival features over 60 attractions, including a giant corn maze, hayrides to the pumpkin fields, pumpkin cannons, pedal kart races, and a country store packed with goodies. Devour delicious treats like kettle corn, turkey legs, homemade fudge, churros, BBQ, and apple cider slushies. Kids will love digging in the corn pit, whizzing down giant slides, and roasting s’mores by the fire. Open weekends and select Fridays, McCall’s offers the perfect way to spend a fall day with family and friends!
GALLOPING GOAT PUMPKIN PATCH All October long! GallopingGoatPumpkinPatch.com
Fall magic takes the reins at Galloping Goat Pumpkin Patch in Rio Rancho! Open daily from 9 a.m. to 6 p.m., this playful patch has everything you need for the perfect fall day: a 20-x-40-foot corn pit, twisting harvest maze, tricycle racetrack, roping arena, pumpkin bowling, duck races, mud‑pie kitchen, and putt-putt. Weekends bring a petting zoo and paintball target arena. Hunt through hundreds of pumpkins and gourds to find the perfect prize!
DOWNTOWN GROWERS’ MARKET Every Saturday until November 8 DowntownGrowers.org
Savor the flavors of fall at the Downtown Growers’ Market in Robinson Park! Every Saturday from 8 a.m. to 12 p.m. through Nov. 8, discover the best of the season with fresh local produce, autumn-inspired treats, hot prepared foods, and artisan-made
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Empathy quite literally holds our relationships together. It helps us connect, understand, and support one another. But did you know empathy isn’t just one thing? It comes in three distinct forms, each playing a unique role in how we relate to others. COGNITIVE EMPATHY: UNDERSTANDING THE MIND Cognitive empathy involves mentally stepping into someone else’s shoes to understand their thoughts. For example, if your friend is ranting about a frustrating day at work, cognitive empathy helps you understand and relate. If you want to build this skill, practice active listening. Instead of planning your response while someone’s talking, focus entirely on their words. Then, reflect on what you’ve heard. Phrases like “It sounds like you’re feeling ...” can go a long way. EMOTIONAL EMPATHY: FEELING WITH OTHERS This kind of empathy tugs at your heartstrings when someone you love is hurting. Emotional empathy lets you actually feel what another person feels. It’s powerful, but it can also be overwhelming. To strengthen emotional empathy, put distractions away during conversations, make eye contact, and be present. When we give people our full attention, our emotional receptors are activated. If you feel emotionally overloaded, though, it’s okay to take a breather. Boundaries are a healthy part of empathy, too. The Empathy Effect Unlock Stronger Bonds With These 3 Tools
... continued from Cover And, of course, Dziadek and Babcia (Polish for grandpa and grandma), my wife Marta’s grandparents, have courage that still amazes me. They escaped communist Poland in 1981, navigating refugee camps and embassy doors slammed in their faces until, finally, persistence won. They started over in New Mexico with little more than grit, faith, and a love for family so strong it became the center of everything. Holidays at their house meant pierogis, bigos, and kapusta. Richard, aka Dziadek, called every grandchild at 7 a.m. sharp on their birthday, saying little more than “happy birthday” before hanging up. He didn’t need many words; his life said enough. When I look back at all of them, be it Italian, Polish, Southern, academic, artistic, or entrepreneurial, I see the mosaic of values they passed down: loyalty, curiosity, courage, kindness, and a deep appreciation for family. I didn’t realize as a kid how quickly time would slip by, how one day the voices calling to check in or singing in the church or offering to carry a violin would become memories. But that’s the gift of grandparents, isn’t it? They teach you, sometimes with words, often just by living, how to carry those lessons forward. And on this Grandparents’ Day, that feels
like the best way to honor them. —Bert Parnall
AIR-FRIED KOREAN CHILI CAULIFLOWER
Ingredients
Sauce • 1/2 cup maple syrup • 6 tbsp soy sauce • 1/4 cup brown sugar • 5 tbsp gochujang • 2 tbsp rice vinegar • 1 tbsp sesame oil • 2 tbsp cornstarch • Chopped green onion, sesame seeds, and lime (for garnish)
• 1 1/2 cup gluten-free flour • 2 tbsp cornstarch • 1 tbsp baking powder • 1 tsp salt
• 1 tsp garlic powder • 1/4 tsp black pepper • 1 3/4 cups cold seltzer water • 2 medium heads of
cauliflower, cut into florets
COMPASSIONATE EMPATHY: ACTING ON UNDERSTANDING
• Cooking spray or oil
Compassionate empathy goes beyond understanding and feeling; it’s about doing something helpful. For example, if your partner is anxious about an upcoming presentation, you can show compassionate empathy by noticing and offering to run through their slides with them. To show compassionate empathy, ask yourself, “How can I lighten their load right now?” Even small gestures like texting to offer help can build trust and deepen connections. When all three types of empathy are present, relationships thrive. You understand, feel, and act, and while not every situation calls for all three, being aware of each type can make you a better friend, partner, parent, or teammate.
Directions 1. Whisk together flour, cornstarch, baking powder, salt, garlic powder, and pepper. Stir in seltzer until thick. 2. Coat cauliflower in batter and spray or brush with oil. 3. Air fry at 400 F for 15–17 minutes, flipping halfway. 4. In a blender, add sauce ingredients (except cornstarch) and blend until smooth. 5. Take out 1/4 cup of sauce and mix with cornstarch until clumps are gone. 6. Into a pan on medium-low, pour remaining sauce. Add cornstarch slurry and cook until thickened. 7. Toss cooked cauliflower with sauce, garnish, and serve.
Inspired by TYBerryMuch.com
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INSIDE THIS ISSUE
1
The Everyday Moments That Built a Family Legacy
2
Albuquerque’s Best Pumpkin Patches and Fall Markets
3
Air-Fried Korean Chili Cauliflower
Boost Your Emotional Intelligence With These 3 Empathy Skills
4
Easy Halloween Fun for Kids (Without Losing Your Mind)
FUN, NOT FUSSY Nail Halloween With Minimal Effort
COSTUME CREATION STATION You can forget the overpriced store- bought outfits that tear before dinner on Halloween night. Set up a costume creation corner with old clothes, cardboard boxes, fabric scraps, and safe accessories. Let the kids go wild designing their own characters. These can be superheroes, TV characters, animals, or fun foods. PUMPKIN PAINTING PARTY Carving can be fun, but it’s not always kid- friendly. Painting pumpkins is safer, cleaner, and just as festive. Grab some nontoxic paints, markers, and stickers, and let your kids transform their pumpkins into silly, spooky, or sparkly works of Halloween art. HAUNTED STORY WALK Set up a path around your backyard or hallway with hidden story pages or
Halloween has a way of sneaking up on you. One day, it’s back to school, and the next, you’re knee-deep in costume negotiations and candy debates. But here’s the good news: You don’t need an over- the-top haunted house or a monthlong Pinterest board to make the holiday memorable. With a few simple ideas, you can turn Halloween into a tradition your kids look forward to without totally exhausting yourself! GLOW-IN-THE-DARK EGG HUNT Who says egg hunts are just for spring? Fill plastic eggs with small candies, stickers, or tiny trinkets, toss in a glow stick bracelet or glow-in-the-dark sticker, and scatter them in the yard or house. With the lights off and flashlights on, it’s like Halloween hide and seek!
flashlight stations. Each stop reveals part of a spooky (but age-appropriate) tale. For an extra-special touch, have an older sibling or adult dress up and narrate along the way. SPOOKY SNACK LAB Host a kitchen “lab” where your little monsters whip up their own creepy creations. Think monster trail mix, pretzel broomsticks, mummy-wrapped hot dogs, or bubbling punch with dry ice. The process is half the fun, and the mess is part of the Halloween magic.
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