Law Office of Kevin Jensen - June 2018

From History

3 High-Stakes Divorces From the Past

On the cover of nearly every celebrity tabloid magazine, you’re sure to see some dramatic, high-profile celebrity divorces. Often, millions of dollars, not to mention intense feelings, are at stake in these settlements, but I think it’s safe to say that a breakup between, say, Chris Pratt and Anna Faris isn’t about to start any literal wars. Not so with these divorces from history, where the stakes of a split reached heights far beyond “who gets which mansion.” CHARLEMAGNE AND DESIDERATA In 770 A.D., Charlemagne, King of the Franks, married Desiderata, the daughter of the Lombards, a key enemy of his people. The goal was to form a truce between the battling groups, but unfortunately, Charlemagne quickly grew to dislike Desiderata, and sent her packing back to her family after only a

year. This souring of relations between the two parties, coupled with Charlemagne’s sister-in- law fleeing to the Lombards, resulted in the war of 774. Charlemagne’s victory in the conflict laid the foundation for the Holy Roman Empire. KING HENRY VIII AND CATHERINE OF ARAGON It’s the classic tale of old-school political intrigue: King Henry VIII grew tired of his wife Catherine of Aragon after she failed to bear any male heirs to the throne, instead opting for the young and beautiful Anne Boleyn. When the Catholic church, headed by Pope Clement VII, refused to annul the marriage, Henry broke with Rome altogether and declared himself the head of the brand-new Church of England. Later, Boleyn was convicted of treason and a whole mess of other offenses, and was beheaded. Ironically, Henry’s Church of England

soon came out strongly against divorce, forbidding it in any circumstance. JULIUS CAESAR AND POMPEIA This historical divorce has perhaps the goofiest lead-up, but it still managed to sever a legendary couple. Way back in 62 B.C., Caesar’s wife, Pompeia, threw a wild, women-only, religious shindig at her home, to which only vestal virgins were permitted access. But a troublemaker politician known as Publius Clodius Pulcher snuck in dressed as a woman — apparently with the intent of seducing Pompeia. When he was discovered, a scandal broke out across Rome, with everyone wondering whether he’d succeeded in his dastardly goal. Though nothing had happened (probably), Caesar divorced his wife with the famous statement, “Caesar’s wife must be above suspicion.”

Father’s Day Chili Lime Chicken Wings

LAUGH BREAK

ingredients This Father’s Day, spice up your wings with this zesty recipe that’s sure to please the whole family.

• 1 lime, halved • Extra-virgin olive oil • Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper • Chopped cilantro for garnish

• 4 pounds chicken wings • 1 stick unsalted butter, softened • 1 1/4 tablespoons Thai red curry paste • 1/4 cup honey • 1/4 cup soy sauce instructions 1. Heat oven to 425 F. 2. Rinse wings under cold water and pat dry. Season liberally with salt and pepper, and drizzle with olive oil. Roast on a baking sheet for 25 minutes or until skin becomes crisp and brown.

3. Blend butter, red curry paste, honey, and soy sauce in a large mixing bowl. 4. Toss wings in butter mixture. Squeeze lime juice on top, transfer to serving plate, and garnish with cilantro.

Recipe inspired by Food Network

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