When Someone You Care about is Dying in a Nursing Home

Sleeping more When a person is dying, they may spend more time sleeping. When they’re awake, they may be tired and sleepy, with little energy. They may not want to speak and may find it hard to concentrate. They may slip in and out of consciousness. Remember, this is normal. Let the person relax and rest. It’s important to remember that even when the person seems less conscious, they may still be able to hear you. You can reassure them by letting them know you’re with them, by speaking or holding their hand.

Doing something you know will comfort them can also be useful. Speak softly but clearly and use the person’s name.

Talk to the healthcare team if you’re worried about the person’s sleepiness.

Becoming confused Occasionally, when awake the person may be confused about where they are, the time of day and who you or who they are. They may see or hear things that aren’t there. They may also appear to speak with people who have already died. Let them know you’re with them by speaking, holding their hand or doing something you know will comfort them. Speak softly but clearly and use the person’s name. You can gently reassure them that they’re safe. Medication can be given to help the person if they’re distressed, to aid their rest and help them sleep.

Talk to the healthcare team if the person’s confusion is upsetting them or you.

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