Be respectful of what the person says. Try not to brush them off or change the topic. Most people just want to be listened to as they express their hopes and fears. They may just want to know that they are not alone. Talking about dying and death Talking about dying and death can be very difficult. Many people find it hard to know what to say. People can react in ways you might not expect. Some people avoid talking about it. Some remain positive, while others want to talk more openly. You may not be sure of what to say at this time. There is no right or wrong way to deal with this. Everyone is different. It is helpful to let the dying person talk about what is on their mind. Let them take the lead in the conversation. They may talk about dying in an indirect way, such as by asking, “Is there life after death?” On the other hand, they may be more direct and ask: “Am I dying?” If you can, it is good to respond to any questions. If you feel stuck for words you could say something like, “Are you worrying about something?” “That’s a big question - have you been thinking about that for a while?” Although it can be hard, it can be good to talk about the truth if that is what the person wants. Some people who are dying do not want to focus on what lies ahead or to talk directly about the end of life. But at the same time, they may want to be reassured about what is happening and that they are getting the right care and support. When you are talking about death, it helps to listen carefully and to let the person speak freely. This may be about practical, emotional or spiritual matters. Some people don’t feel ready to have this kind of conversation.
It is important that you look after yourself at this time. For more about this, see page 14.
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