Ablaze Spring 2025 2

Money Is Wonderfully Evil

Emily Weidner

I have no money.

Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

For the first time in my life, I have no idea what to do. I’m elite, elite as one can be, but what am I without money? I can’t bear the thought.

“This is no good,” I think aloud. “Money is everything!”

I slump back on my velvet couch that probably cost more than an average person’s yearly salary and roll out a dramatic sigh. “No money? No respect!” I exclaim like a dramatic opera is about to unfold.

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