Extreme Jealousy Jealousy is a sign of insecurity and lack of trust, but the abuser will say that it is a sign of love. The abuser will question the victim about who they talk to, accuse them of flirting, or be jealous of time spent with their friends, family, or children. The abuser may refuse to let the victim work or go to school for fear of meeting someone else. The abuser may call the victim frequently or drop by unexpectedly. Controlling Behavior One partner completely rules the relationship and makes the decisions. This includes “checking up” on the victim, timing a victim when they leave the house, checking the odometer on the car, questioning the victim about where they go. They may also check the victim’s cell phone for call history, their email or website history. The abuser may control the finances and tell the victim how to dress, who to talk to and where to go. These 13 signs, when recognised early could save your life
SIGNS THAT COULD SAVE YOUR LIFE
‘1 in 8 men are victims of domestic violence in their lifetime. In the United States, of the domestic abuse crimes recorded by the police, 25% are committed against men.’ The National Center for Injury Prevention and Control, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
Quick Involvement The abuser comes on strong at the
beginning of the relationship, pressuring for a commitment and claims “Love at first sight” or “You’re the only person I could ever talk to” or “I never met anyone like you before”. Often, in the beginning of a relationship, the abuser is very charming and romantic and the ‘love’ is intense. Unrealistic Expectations Abusers expect their partners to meet all their needs and be “perfect”. They may say things like “If you love me, then I’m all you need”. Isolation The abuser tries to keep the victim from friends and family by putting down everyone the victim knows, including their family and friends. They may keep the victim from going to work or school. Blames Others The abuser does not take responsibility for their problems, blaming others (usually the victim) for almost everything (“you made me mad”).
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November 2023 | Collective Action Magazine
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