GBVF doesn’t exist in isolation, it is not the problem but rather a symptom of the profoundly sick society we live in. I believed that because we were speaking about a whole society problem that requires a whole society response, this would give us the much-needed springboard to begin dismantling the dysfunctional systems that fail to serve our shared humanity. I could not have been more wrong. Activists are continually exploited whilst funding is dispersed largely to organisations who couldn't give a damn how many of us die every day as long as they can check some boxes and make some deals that keep them smiling all the way to the bank. The involvement of men is one thing, but centering violent men is a death sentence as, in so doing, patriarchy is enabled to maintain power. Sexual and gender-based violence have nothing to do with sex and everything to do with power and control. Rape is a tool of war, we are at war though we are labouring under the illusion we are free. Optimistic, I dedicated myself to becoming a bridge- builder, setting aside my reservations, and acting in good faith that those tasked with implementing the plan we had collectively developed were as committed to the process as I was. Truth be told, there are many individuals within government structures who do share this commitment. There have even been limited successes in pockets where those from different sectors have successfully collaborated, but not enough. The reality is that the violence we seek to address is structural. Individual commitment alone doesn’t stand a chance in the face of a well-established system quite literally designed to oppress anyone who does not subscribe to its blatant patriarchal abuse at every level. The system is not broken, it is functioning exactly as it was designed to. Our efforts will be better spent on creating independent communities of care to support ourselves and each other in spite of the neverending barrage of state-sanctioned violence. I have decided to take my radicalised self and commit to the radical act of detachment from that which is not serving me or anyone else.
“All too often women believe it is a sign of commitment, an expression of love, to endure unkindness or cruelty, to forgive and forget. In actuality, when we love rightly, we know that the healthy, loving response to cruelty and abuse is putting ourselves out of harm’s way.” Bell Hooks (All About Love: New Visions, 1999)
I remain a feminist, an anarchist, and a punk. I have no faith in the system.
May it be a revolution of love and healing.
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