Attachment Styles and Spiritual Maturity: The Role of Secur…

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This dissertation for the Ph.D. MFT Degree

by

Judith K. TenElshof

has been approved at the

Graduate School of Psychology

Fuller Theological Seminary

June, 1998

~ 111- 5:~,, ?J.P. niceM.strength, Ph.D.

Associate Dean

ool of Psychology

Attachment Styles and Spiritual Maturity:

The Role of Secure Attachment in Predicting

Spiritual Maturity among Seminary Students

A Dissertation

Presented to the

Faculty of the Graduate School of Psychology

Division ofMarriage and Family

Fuller Theological Seminary

In Partial Fulfillment

of the

Requirements for the Degree

Doctor of Philosophy

(Marital and Family Therapy)

By

Judith K. TenElshof

June, 1998

Acknowledgements

I want to express my deep appreciation to all those who have influenced, encouraged,

supported, and enabled my personal and academic growth. This dissertation is a significant

accomplishment in my life not only because it represents the culmination of my doctoral

studies, but also because it contains the expression of my passion for the people called by God

to serve the Christian community.

I would like to first acknowledge my husband, Gene who first saw my academic

potential and has been devoted to me with contagious enthusiasm and tireless effort. This

represents an unconditional commitment to me in giving faithful love and service, a precious

family, time to pursue doctoral studies, and a hopeful future. I also want to thank my children

Tami and her husband Jerry and Gregg and his wife Laurel with enormous feelings of

affection for their faithful Christian walk which brings peace, prayer, joy, and love to my

work. My adorable grandchildren, Brooklynn Joy and Zacary Dean have brought

unspeakable joy carrying me through the hardships of this process. I know that completing

this task would not have been possible without the generous and caring support of my church

family and friends and I want to thank you all.

I would especially like to thank Jim Furrow for his leadership and challenge to my

academic growth given throughout this project by serving as the chair of my committee. I

would also like to thank Janice Strength for her encouragement given with truth and grace and

Ray Anderson's integration of theology and psychology which has focused my insights . You

all represent the outstanding spiritual and academic commitment of faculty in the Marriage and

Family Division and at Fuller Theological Seminary.

I especially want to thank the Dean of Talbot School of Theology, Dennis Dirks whose

prayers and financial support made this achievement possible. I also want to thank my new

colleague and friend, Stephen Piesner who was a faithful reader and mentor of my work.

Finally, a special thanks to all my colleagues at Talbot and support staff who are committed to

my passion for the restoration and character development of Christian leaders.

11.

Table of Contents

Acknowledgments

ii

List ofTables and Figures

vi

Abstract

2

Chapter One - Introduction

3

The Complexity of Spiritual Maturity

3

The Roots of Spiritual Maturity

6

Chapter Two - Literature Review

11

Introduction

11

The Theological Foundations of Spiritual Maturity

11

Relationship is the Foundation of Personhood

11

Alienation ofRelationship Through Sin

14

Restoration of Relationships Through Salvation and

Reconciliation

16

The Psychological Foundations of Relational Maturity

17

Foundations of Relational Attachment

18

The Role ofAffect

20

21

The Development of a Working Model of Attachment

Continuity of Attachment from Child to Adult

Relationships

23

Table of Contents Continued

Summary of the Psychological Foundations of

Relational Maturity

27

The Integrated Foundations of Spiritual and Relational Maturity 28

Relational Attachments and Spiritual Maturity of Seminary

Students

34

Hypotheses

35

Chapter Three - Methodology

36

36

Sample

36

Sample Characteristics

36

Variables

Measurement ofVariables

42

Methodological Limitations

48

49

Chapter Four - Results

49

Measurement Evaluation

Evaluation of Statistical Assumptions

50

Hypothesis Testing

53

Chapter Five - Discussion

59

Discussion of Results

59

Major Findings

62

Implications of the Study

66

Table of Contents Continued

Limitations of the Study

72

Future Research

73

Conclusion

75

76

References

88

Appendix

89

A. Participant Letter

90

Survey Form

90

Demographics

94

Faith Maturity Scale

Adult Attachment Scale

97

100

Hazen and Shaver Childhood Measure

101

Parental Bonding Instrument

103

B. Correlation Matrix

C. Regression Analysis using Combined Maternal and Paternal

Childhood Measures

104

Total Faith Maturity

105

Vertical Faith Maturity

106

Horizontal Faith Maturity

List of Tables and Figures

Figure 1.

The Social Structure of Human Spirituality

30

Table 1.

Demographic Characteristics of Sample

37

Table 2.

Comparison of Internal Consistency Reliability Coefficients 50

Table 3.

Comparison of Maternal Parental Bonding with Childhood Attachment 51

Table 4.

Comparison of Means across Attachment Categories

52

Table 5.

Correlations Between Secure Adult Attachment and Childhood and Faith Maturity Measures Summary of Regression Analysis for Variables Predicting Total Faith Maturity Summary of Regression Analysis for Variables Predicting Vertical Faith Maturity

54

Table 6.

56

Table 7 .

57

Table 8.

Summary of Regression Analysis for Variables Predicting Horizontal Faith Maturity

58

Correlation Matrix Between the Independent Variables and the Dependent Variable Summary of Regression Analysis for Combined Maternal and Paternal Childhood Measures Predicting Total Faith Maturity Summary of Regression Analysis for Combined Maternal and Paternal Childhood Measures Predicting Vertical Faith Maturity Summary of Regression Analysis for Combined Maternal and Paternal Childhood Measure Predicting Horizontal Faith Maturity

Table 9.

103

Table 10.

104

Table 11.

105

Table 12.

106

VI.

Attachment and Spiritual Maturity 1

Running Head: ATTACHMENT AND SPIRITUAL MATURITY

Attachment Styles and Spiritual Maturity:

The Role of Secure Attachment in Predicting

Spiritual Maturity among Seminary Students

Judith K. TenElshof

Graduate School ofPsychology

Division ofMarriage and Family

Fuller Theological Seminary

Attachment and Spiritual Maturity 2

Abstract:

This study investigates the relationships between secure child and adult

attachment styles and their influence on spiritual maturity. A survey study of 216

seminary students was conducted using the Parental Bonding Instrument, Adult

Attachment Scale, and the Faith Maturity Index. Previous research in attachment

relationships suggests that early parental interactions generate internalized models of self

and others which are carried forward to new relationships. Secure adult attachment styles

were predicted to relate positively with spiritual maturity. Findings of the study suggest

that adult measures of secure attachment styles are correlated with Faith Maturity.

Measures of parental bonding evidenced minimal associations with Adult Attachment

Styles and were weaker correlates of Faith Maturity. Secure Adult Attachment was a

stronger predictor of Faith Maturity when compared to measures of Parental Bonding.

Implications are offered for religious training institutions, the church, and the community.

Attachment and Spiritual Maturity 3

Chapter One

Introduction

The Complexity of Spiritual Maturity

There is a general consensus among Christians that spiritual maturity is a desired objective of the Christian life. It is understood as a complex process guided by the Holy

Spirit (Romans 8:9-11) with its goal to become like Jesus. This is accomplished through a

relationship with God that results in the training, shaping, and reshaping ofevery area of

a person's life. Evidence of this remolding is manifested in a believer's life in the following

areas; the mind and will (John 8:31-32), the heart (John 13:34-35), and the character

(John 15:7-8) (Wilkins, 1997a). This process of change results in a deeper capacity for

intimacy in relationship to God and others.

While there is some consensus of the definition that spiritual maturity is a goal,

· there is little agreement as to the components of this process. Throughout history the

church has suggested a variety ofapproaches to spiritual maturity. One could categorize

these approaches in psychological terms as behavioral, cognitive, or affective

corresponding to the remolding of the character, the mind and will, or the heart

respectively. The behavioral approaches emphasize practicing certain behaviors to bring one's

character in line with God's character. The ascetic life was emphasized over the years as a

way to find closeness with God and understand His ways. Men and women such as

Augustine of Hippo found solitude, meditation and prayer each means to greater intimacy

with God, thereby leading to Godly character and maturity. Having a disciplined life while living in the world is also a behavioral approach to

spiritual maturity. Through the practice of spiritual disciplines such as prayer, fasting,

and meditation a person is more equipped with God's strength of character to confront

the evils of this world. These disciplined practices are also seen as preparation of the

Attachment and Spiritual Maturity 4

heart and mind for the life of spiritual growth. In the tradition of Plato, Willard (1988)

saw that" there is an art of living, and the living is excellent only when the self is prepared

in all the depth and dimensions of its being" (p. 4).

There are also several cognitive approaches to spiritual maturity beginning with

James Fowler's theory of faith development. Fowler was one of the first scholars to

suggest that spirituality can be seen as a cognitive developmental process. Therefore he

developed six stages of faith (Fowler, 1981). They described faith as a human focusing on

developing cognitive abilities that may occur through predictable stages. While Fowler's

work focuses on the process of faith moving toward maturity, adults are found in all of

the stages from the first stage of intuitive-projective faith to the sixth stage of

universalizing faith. His holistic view integrates one's relationship with God with one's

service to others providing a framework for faith development. This framework became

the springboard for further cognitive understanding of spiritual maturity.

This cognitive emphasis became evident as the training of the mind to think

became a formal way to train future Christian leaders to become spiritually mature. God's

Word is seen as central to learning and growing. To love God with all your mind is to be

on the road to spiritual maturity. The mind is seen not only as tough and analytic, but

also generous and caring (Moreland, 1997). Cognitive spirituality is driven by knowing

the truth, followed by believing and living the truth, because it will set you free

(John 8:32). It is suggested that a proper understanding of the bible is primary to a

person's spiritual experience.

Another cognitive way to spiritual maturity is to understand or explain an

individual's sin and find a way to overcome it (Hettinga, 1996). Hettinga gives several

examples of how this is taught. If sin is seen as alienation from God, then salvation is seen

as receiving love which will transform a person as they walk with God in love. Or if

blindness is the sin, one needs light so one can walk in the light. If one is captive or in

bondage to sin, one needs grace to walk in victory. A leader may choose in his teaching to

Attachment and Spiritual Maturity 5

balance several of these themes or emphasize one preference as the way to train the mind and will. This leads to spiritual maturity.

Another route to spiritual maturity is the approach which includes the affective

response to the need for social justice. For instance, some have followed the heart and

spirit ofMother ofTeressa and have given their lives to the cause of Christian service by

helping care for the sick, poor, and needy. Some have formed organizations such as Food

For the Hungry, while others have experienced spiritual growth by having left their home

and country to feed the hungry, heal the broken-hearted, or set the captive free. For these

people, responding from the heart in service to others is paramount. Scripture adds the

dimension of love to Christian service by suggesting that by love people should serve one

another (Galatians 5:13). This passage argues that spiritual maturity involves freedom of

the believer to choose to serve others in love (Braunius, Ecklebarger, Loth, Newton,

Patterson, & Ross, 1988).

Another avenue to finding spiritual growth is through relationships in small group

communities. This follows the example of Jesus who gathered disciples around him

whom he loved, trained, and sent out. The key to small group ministry, is the authentic

and accountable discipleship relationship between group members. Those who believe in

small groups propose that if Christians are to grow to maturity and have an impact on

society, committed personal relationships of love and trust that support a Christian way

of life must be nurtured (Blattner, 1987). It is this love and trust leading to depth of intimacy in human relationships that is

being suggested by Houston ( 1989) which will also bring depth to relationship with God.

Although created for relationship, the sin of wounding one another is universal, creating a

need for God. In reverse, a rich relationship with God will give depth to other

relationships (Houston, 1989). As a person' s relationship with God deepens, there is a

gravitation toward others. So the nature of one's relationship itself gives greater depth of

spiritual maturity.

Attachment and Spiritual Maturity 6

"You cannot have fellowship with the triune God who is fellowship without that fellowship spilling over to others in the same family" (Green & Stevens, 1994) p. 81).

The help that one person gives to facilitate another Christian's growth in

relationship to God is a more recently revived interest in spiritual maturity, specifically

Spiritual Direction. The person who gives this help is called a spiritual director. This

direction has been a source ofwisdom, and growth for thousands of people throughout

church history (Ekman, 1996). Two basic convictions are at the root of spiritual direction

(Jones, 1982). Fundamentally important is a relationship with God. It is believed that

other relationships are impoverished without that primary relationship. Secondly, our

relationships with God, with one another, and with the whole created order are

interrelated. Emphasis in any one of these areas at any time in life will effect all other

areas leading to spiritual maturity. Although not exhaustive, this brief review suggests that the process of becoming

spiritually mature is complex and diverse and can be explained by emphasizing behavior,

cognition, affect and relationship. Many Christians and traditions may have an affinity

toward one or several of these approaches or it could be argued that all approaches are

necessary. Each is a powerful attempt to find a way to move toward spiritual maturity.

The Roots of Spiritual Maturity

There are several reasons it is important to discover the roots of spiritual

maturity. First, seminaries are concerned with turning out mature Christian leaders.

They have long recognized that preparing and equipping men and women for leadership in

Christian ministry includes development in spiritual maturity. Traditionally, it was

thought that spiritual maturity would emerge as students read, believed, and obeyed the

Bible (Kangas, 1998). Therefore, much of seminary training focuses on intellectual

growth and practical application. Yet if the seminary is accountable to the church, it

demands more than the cognitive acquisition of theological insights and practical ministry

Attachment and Spiritual Maturity 7

skills (Daniels, 1983). Seminaries are now finding that training mature spiritual leaders

needs to include personal development at cognitive, affective, and behavioral levels.

Entering seminary students today seem to be experiencing more problems than in

earlier times. They are often severely deficient in basic relational skills and experiences

(Botton, King, & Venugopal, 1997). It can no longer be assumed that these students have

had the early childhood, adolescent, and family experiences that are associated with

building supportive relationships, keeping commitments, and resolving conflicts. In fact,

many students come from home environments where models of trust, love, self-esteem, power, and identity were either absent or uncertain (London & Wiseman, 1993). There

should not then be surprise when students have difficulty experiencing trust in God or

expressing compassion toward others, marks of spiritual maturity.

Further, students can profess belief in correct doctrine or theology but secretly

hide sins involving misdirected sexuality, addiction, lying, etc. Rather than integrating

their faith with life, they keep their private life in a very different internal space separate from their beliefs about God and the love and grace that He has for them (Wilkins, 1997a).

In the emptiness of seminary students private lives, they often turn to

performance in school and in ministry hoping to experience belonging, value, and worth.

On the one hand, their successful performance leads to an experience of value and worth

associated with competence. This competence provides a cover-up of an unmet need for

belonging and validation. External experiences ofworth alone seldom bring satisfaction

and contentment. Instead these experiences may breed perfectionism and a continuing

sense that their work is seldom good enough. Eventually, these seminary students may

turn to the pleasures of sin for their much needed relief. On the other hand, if their

performance is not successful, they may feel guilty, blame themselves, and feel depressed.

This guilt cycle recreates the need for the momentary pleasure of sin again and again

(Hart, 1993).

Attachment and Spiritual Maturity 8

These characteristics are evident in seminary students who come to graduate

school with a deep sense of emptiness. Students sense their spiritual and relational void

but are unsure how to go about filling it. Many unknowingly come to seminary for the

very purpose of finding mentors who will help bring the missing elements of belonging,

value, and worth into their lives. This leaves them spiritually desperate. They desire to

connect with God but they don' t know how or feel unworthy (Hall, 1997).

The Christian community today is increasingly concerned with the personal life of

their pastors and Christian leaders and their spiritual development. There are two

primary reasons for this concern. The first is the recognition of the extremely high

emotional demands that are placed on pastors today (Henry, Chertok, Keys, & Jergerski,

1991). Pastors are always on call and expected to meet the spiritual and emotional needs

ofthe people in their care. The stresses experienced by pastors resulting from lack of

time include frustration, loneliness, isolation, spiritual dryness, and marital stress (Ellison

& Mattila, 1983; Warner & Carter, 1984). Research suggests that higher levels of

loneliness and lower levels ofmarital adjustment among pastors provide evidence that

pastors (and their wives) experience a diminished quality of life compared to lay persons

(Warner & Carter, 1984). Pastors face other challenges associated with their professional

life. These include: isolation, loneliness, inadequacy, and insecurity (Hall, 1997). They

have many acquaintances but seventy percent report not having someone they consider a

close friend. This may result in lowered self esteem (London, 1993). Consequently,

ministers may respond through unresolved anger, unhealthy needs for approval, and the

instinct to control (MacDonald, 1998). Toe second reason the Christian community is concerned suggested by Warner

and Carter (1984) is that Christian leaders today seem to have lost their spiritual passion

and are experiencing moral failure. Their schedules are extremely busy, often lacking

purpose and a Sabbath for personal renewal. Many experience burnout. Burnout can be defined as a process in which chronic stress from interpersonal contact leads to emotional

Attachment and Spiritual Maturity 9

and/or physical exhaustion, decreased productivity, dehumanized treatment of clients,

marital conflict, loneliness, psychosomatic illness, and a substantial decrease in enjoyment

of interpersonal relationships both inside and outside of work (Guy, 1987; Warner &

Carter, 1984). They know their theology but many lack authenticity in their life and

relationships.

These issues of burnout and stress experienced by pastors today are relevant to

seminary training and need to be addressed with future Christian leaders. Seminary

training can prepare students for an emotionally draining lifestyle that tends to inhibit

spiritual development rather than strengthen it.

There are several issues that emerge from this review. One is that

interpersonal/relational deficits are associated with the vast majority of psychological and spiritual problems faced by pastors and thus need to be addressed at an early stage of the

pastor's career (Hall, 1997). Secondly, they seem to be suffering from the same problem

of foundational relational deficiencies that is being seen in students that enter seminary

(Daniels, 1983). Thirdly, it is ironic that the very thing that is emphasized the least in a

pastor's training; namely, relational maturity can be tied to almost every problem the

research indicates is prevalent among pastors (Hall, 1997).

This relational immaturity of pastors is an important problem and the

contemporary conceptualization of spiritual maturity seems to have more to do with

interpersonal relationships and integrity than book knowledge. Spiritual guides for

centuries have told us that without intimate friends, spiritual momentum will not be

maintained. Leaders fail to recognize that their relational deficiencies may be related to

their moral choices. Failing to explore their soul for unwholeness ultimately takes its toll

(MacDonald, 1998). Left unattended, these deficiencies leave leaders prone to

relationship failures as well as ministry failure. This leaves the Christian community

without mature men and women of integrity to lead them.

Attachment and Spiritual Maturity 10

Seminaries therefore need to address the relational maturity of stude~ts preparing

for pastoral leadership roles. Not only do future Christian leaders need to understand the

Bible, they need to be able to develop and maintain strong intimate relationships. These

relational attachments will help them develop a deeper walk with God. Intimacy with

God is important for their future success in ministry.

An integration of spiritual and relational maturity is suggested by proposing that

the roots of spiritual maturity are found in attachment and are carried over into

relationship with God and relationship with those we seek to serve. Therefore this study

will explore the relationship between spiritual maturity and attachment leading to

relational maturity. First spiritual maturity will be explored by grounding it in the biblical

foundations of personhood. Relational maturity will then be explored by reviewing the

psychological literature regarding attachment theory. This is followed by an examination

of this theory by explaining the relationship between spiritual maturity and attachment.

Attachment and Spiritual Maturity 11

Chapter Two

Literature Review

Introduction In response to the question of the relationship between a history of secure

attachment and seminary students' spiritual maturity, this chapter explores the literature

in both ofthese two areas. It will begin with building the theological foundations of

spiritual maturity with the use of scripture and theological literature. Psychological

foundations of relational maturity with a focus on attachment theory are discussed. An

integration of spiritual and relational maturity is described and theoretical hypotheses

offered.

The Theological Foundations of Spiritual Maturity

Human beings were created to be in relationship with each other and with God.

Scripture confirms this connection in Matthew declaring the human need to be reconciled

in their relationships with others before presenting offerings to God (Matthew 5:24).

Matthew also reports there is a warning to forgive others if the desire is for God to

forgive one's sins. These passages show how interrelated human relationships are with a

relationship to God. This interrelatedness will be explored first by examining the

foundations of personhood. Relationship is the Foundation of Personhood Spiritual maturity begins with the capacity for relationship. Each person receives

this capacity by being created in the image ofGod. God is triune; namely, three persons

in one, therefore relational (Genesis 1:26-27). This image into which all persons are

created describes how humans are like their creator.

Humans are like God and represent Him in a way unlike any other part of

creation. Wilkins ( 1997), suggests five ways humans are distinct from other creatures.

Mentally, humans have the God-given ability to relate to God. Morally, humans are holy

and righteous like God when their behavior conforms to His standards. Spiritually,

Attachment and Spiritual Maturity 12

humans have an immaterial spirit which enables them to relate to God on a personal level.

Relationally, they have the ability to enter into healthy intimate relationships with other

humans. And physically, the human's body enables them to be like God, although He is

without a body, He sees, speaks, hears, and moves. Humans are like God in more ways

than all of the rest of creation (Wilkins, 1997b). But primarily how they are alike is in

their ability to be in relationship with others and God himself in an intimate way (i.e.

sociality).

How then does being like God impact our relationship to God and our relationships

to others? Anderson, (1997) draws on the theological arguments ofBonhoeffer in an

attempt to answer this question. Bonhoeffer (1963) suggests that Jesus Christ exists in the

spiritual structure of human sociality as community rather than in the institutional form of

the church. Bonhoeffer wrote that the spirit is necessarily created in community, and the

general spirituality of a person is woven into this net of sociality.

"It will appear that all Christian and moral content;as well as the entire spirituality of (persons), is possible and real only in sociality. Not only do the concepts of sin and of the church become more profound, but a way opens up to a Christian evaluation of community life....Here we have to show that (a person's) entire so-called spirituality, which is presupposed by the Christian concept of person and has its unifying point in self-consciousness.. .is so constituted that it can only be seen as possible in sociality" (pp. 43-44).

If what Bonhoeffer is saying is true, then the reality of spirituality is first of all a

social reality rooted in the nature of human personhood. The social structure of human

personhood is intrinsically spiritual (Anderson 1997). Anderson argues that the Spirit of

God joins the human spirit at the core of its social reality. At the core of the self is human

spirituality which then develops as the self has social relations with others.

Lee (1990) describes the very essence of humanness as inseparable and ontologically

bound to actual relationships to God, to each other, and to all creation. He describes

relationships as not just an artifact of human existence, but the very essence of being

Attachment and Spiritual Maturity 13

human. This ability to be in relationship comes from the image of God created in all humanity at birth.

Benner (1988) agrees that human beings relate to God through the same structures

of personality as those through which they relate to other people. He relates God-centered

unity of psychological and spiritual dimensions of one's being as psychospirituality. He

makes the claim that psychological structures are designed to flow from a spiritual direction

and that spiritual maturity demands that maturation occurs simultaneously in the

psychological structures of personality and in the spiritual structures of the soul.

Psychological growth (structural development) may have to precede spiritual growth (direction). This does not mean that all psychological needs must be met or all psychological conflicts resolved before people are capable of responding spiritually...This does not mean that spiritual growth automatically follows psychological growth (Benner, 1988, pp.123-124).

Benner's concepts of psychospirituality implies that we need to try to understand

human spirituality as a whole. This is in agreement with Malony (1988) who also sees a

correlation between positive mental health and spiritual maturity. He argues that

spirituality is the progressive outworking of righteousness or holiness in one' s lifestyle in

relationship with others and restoration of the image ofGod in the inner and outer person.

In summary true human spirituality is experienced and expressed socially in two

ways. In a vertical relationship with God it is expressed in trust and belief. In a horizontal

relationship with a community of others, it is manifested in moral acts, life affirming values,

and service to society (Benson, 1993). This is consistent with Jesus' spiritual maturation

shown to us in Luke 2:52: "And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God

and men". This is consistent biblically with the first two great commandments first stated

in the Old Testament and reiterated by Jesus:

You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the greatest and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself (Matthew 22: 39-39; Deut. 6:5; Lev. 19:18).

Attachment and Spiritual Maturity 14

Although we are created in the image ofGod, human relationships have become extremely distorted and alienated through the effects of sin. Alienation of Relationship Through Sin

The main effect of sin is alienation from God and alienation from others. The

biblical account of the first act of sin depicts this alienation. The first sin in the universe

was an act of free will in which the holy relational character God created was corrupted.

Bonhoeffer's definition of sin describes this corruption as alienation from others.

Sin is the will to affirm in principle oneselfand not the other as a value, and to acknowledge the other only in relation to oneself (Bonhoeffer, 1963).

This definition, although not complete, denotes sin as having its origin in the individual's

will to claim its own interests over that of others. This makes the effects of sin both

social and individual.

This is in agreement with Berkouwer who describes sin as always distorting

relations to God (Berkouwer, 1971). Sin is personal and relational, it is not a defect or an

attribute not performed by man. Important then, is the completeness of how sin is

defined.

Ifwe understand sin basically as the rebellion against God' s goodness and the distortion of the relationship between the Creator and Creature, then the doctrine of"original sin" can only be properly understood when it is seen, not as a given state alone, but in terms of that relationship (Weber, 1981).

This definition was acted out and recorded in the Genesis story of the first man

and woman who enjoyed both security and freedom in a relationship with their Creator.

They were endowed with an ability to form mutually beneficial relationships with others.

They shared an intimate, communicative, and procreative relationship. Most important,

they had an intimate consultative relationship with their Creator (Heinrichs, 1982).

Heinrichs suggests that there was one restriction to their freedom. This was recognition of

their finiteness, limited knowledge, and need for security. This recognition was

particularly true in maintaining an ongoing consultive relationship in regards to their

Attachment and Spiritual Maturity 15

delegated tasks with their creator. When they chose against maintaining the consultative

relationship, it cost them their security and they were left to their own limited resources.

This had a damaging emotional impact. It left them with guilt for disobeying, shame from

not meeting expectations, uncomfortableness in God's presence, and the anxiety of being

alone. They had distorted their image ofGod. Anderson (1998) also affirms that sin

creates alienation from our creator.

Through sin, humans have forfeited their participation in the divine Logos, i.e., rational relatedness to God. Humans have become infected with the disease of sin (p. 10).

This original sin in relationship with God and with others continued throughout

the centuries through all generations of people. This is reflected in what the Apostle Paul

calls the "works of the flesh" which are symptoms of sin reflected in social spirituality

labeled in biblical terms as enmities, strife, jealousy, anger, quarrels, dissensions, factions

(Galatians 5:20). These sins in social spirituality today can be seen in the breakdown of

marriage, family, community and church relationships.

Although relationship with God has been distorted, the capacity for Godly

relationship has not been lost because of sin. When people hurt or offend another human

being, they are hurting a person who has been "made in God's likeness" (James 3:9) but

the offender has not destroyed their capacity for relationship. Therefore, our

relationships with God and with others are in need of restoration.

Being conscious of our guilt is not a type of spiritual maturity that leads to

restoration (Pannenberg, 1983). He suggests that "Pietism" in its late revivalistic forms,

made meditation on guilt and sinfulness the basic condition for a relationship with God.

This type of spirituality allows no escape from the alienation experienced when guilty of

sin. Also, there is no establishment of a new identity that can again relate with God

(Pannenberg, 1983). Rather, restoration comes through the death and resurrection of

Christ who thereby broke the power of sin.

Attachment and Spiritual Maturity 16

Restoration ofRelationships Through Salvation and Reconciliation

God intervened by sending Jesus Christ to live as God intended; in the security of

an intimate, on-going, and consultative relationship with Himself (Heinrichs, 1982). Jesus

was able to reflect the true character ofGod while relating with humanity. His guiltless

sacrificial life was acceptable to God and applied to the sins of all as evidenced in His

resurrection. Humanity now had the choice of being restored to fellowship with God by

applying Jesus Christ's death to their own sin or of continuing to be estranged from the

person ofGod in whose image they were created. By choosing to believe in the act of

redemption, restoration can begin, and the character of God can again be expressed in

relationships to others (2 Corinthians 4:5-11).

If spirituality is at the core of human personhood, the question to be asked, is

what happens when a person accepts Christ as their Savior and the Holy Spirit enters

into their life?

The Holy Spirit does not supersede the Spirit of creation but transforms it. The Holy Spirit therefore lays hold of the whole human being, embracing his feelings and his body as well as his soul and reason (Romans 8:29) (Moltmann, 1985, pp. 263-4).

Jesus emphasized that when a person receives their new identity in Christ, a new

disciple is born to new life by the Spirit ofGod (John 3:5-8). This means that they have

God's seed in them (I John 3:9, and are a new creation (2 Corinthians 5: 17; Ephesians 2: 1O. Understanding God's supernatural work of implanting new spiritual life in our inner

soul is a mystery to human understanding. This may happen suddenly at the moment of

conversion, or may take place quietly and gradually as we get to know Hirn growing up in

a Christian atmosphere.

Thus humans having the Holy Spirit after receiving Christ, need to maintain

openness to the Spirit of God just as they are open to the spirit of another person

(Anderson, 1997). Spirituality is not a religious instinct, feeling, or practice, rather it is

sociality with God and with others. The teachings of God have to penetrate every area of

Attachment and Spiritual Maturity 17

life. These teachings then nurture our relationships with God and with others deepening growth in spirituality. Spiritual formation through the indwelling of the Holy Spirit creates holy effects of healthy social spirituality which are described in Galatians (5:22-23) as love,joy,

peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control (Anderson,

1997). The restoration of relationship is a lifelong process of spiritual development

guided by the Holy Sprit moving toward spiritual maturity. God's Spirit is motivating the relational component of being created in the image ofGod.

The Psychological Foundations of Relational Maturity

There are a variety of psychological theories that offer different explanations of

relational maturity. The first is the psychoanalytic tradition which is rooted in Freud.

According to psychoanalytic theory, a relationship with others develops as one

internalizes certain early childhood values and standards set forth by primary caretakers.

Behaviors toward others emerge primarily out of anxiety and guilt from transgressions of

the internalized standards (Freud, 1961). Social learning theory is another school of

thought and maintains that relational behaviors are learned through reinforcement which is

experienced externally or vicariously, and through modeling. Social learning theorists do

not consider internal values, cognitions and emotions as determinants of behavior toward

others (Skinner, 1976). A third school of thought is a developmental approach which

suggests that relational behavior develops in sequential stages as a child grows in capacity

for more advanced functioning. Erikson's (1950) progressive model of eight stages begins

with the foundational experience of bonding and the development of trust ending with the

development of integrity in the elderly. From the foundational social connection of

bonding flows the ability to initiate communication with others, resolve conflicts, and

develop commitment in later adulthood. There is a break.down in one's capacity to make

and keep commitments, when mistrust was the result of early bonding.

Attachment and Spiritual Maturity 18

Foundations.ofRelational Attachment

A psychological theory which attempts to provide a good model to understand the continuity of developmental stages in human relationships is attachment theory. John Bowlby's important trilogy (1969, 1973, 1980) on attachment, separation, and loss, (the processes by which affectional bonds are forged and broken) is a landmark in

contemporary psychology. He describes how infants are emotionally attached to their

primary caregivers and emotionally distressed when separated from them. Attachment

theory was developed by Bowlby having observed the behavior of infants and young

children who for various lengths of time were separated from their primary caretaker

(usually mother).

The name 'secure base' given to mothers' relationships to their children was

developed by Bowlby (1969). He noticed that separated children go through a series of

emotional reactions. The first involving crying, active searching, and resistance to others'

soothing efforts, was called protest. The second was a state of passivity and obvious

sadness called despair. And the third, was an active, seemingly defensive disregard for

and avoidance of the mother if she returned, called detachment. This series of behaviors

seemed to evolve to protect infants from danger by keeping them close to the mother.

These infant behaviors consist of crying, eye contact, smiling, and snuggling. When

toddlers, they can actively pursue their mother and vocalize their need. Most important for the study at hand is that Bowlby noticed that when children are unafraid and in the presence oftheir mother, they are interested in exploring and mastering the environment,

and establishing contact with others.

The parental bond between parent and child formed by the secure base may be

not only the strongest but also the most important of human attachments (Klaus,

Kennell, & Klaus, 1995). Consequently, any separation is important to a child. The

primary fear of humans is being separated from mother creating the fear of abandonment.

Long separations beyond a half a day in the first two years of life may cause trauma for a

Attachment and Spiritual Maturity 19

child. A longer separation may be damaging to the secure base that bonding builds (Klaus et al., 1995).

Bowlby's theory of attachment moved attachment research further in five key

ways (Rutter, 1995). First, it differentiated attachment qualities of relationships from other aspects_of relationship. When anxiety increased attachment behavior, it also

inhibited playful interactions. This differentiation is important so the qualities of

security to other relationships can be tracked. Second, the development of attachments

were placed within the context of normal developmental processes and specific

mechanisms were proposed. Emphasis was placed on the role of attachment in

promoting security and encouraging independence. This differentiated attachment from

dependency. The development of attachment is not just an immature phase of

dependency, but rather a feature that fosters maturity in social functioning. Third, the

development ofattachments was placed firmly in a biological framework. God, having

created humans, must have had a specific purpose in creating this framework. The

process was seen as an intrinsic feature of human development as social beings, rather

than a secondary feature learned as a result ofrewards of feeding (Rutter, 1995). Fourth,

internal working models of relationships were suggested as a means for both carrying

forward ofeffects of early attachment experiences into later relationships and also a

mechanism for change. Fifth, Bowlby made various suggestions about the ways in which

an insecurity in selective early attachments might contribute to the onset of

psychopathology. All of these key features have received substantial support from

empirical research (Belsky & Cassidy, 1994). Bowlby (1979) contended that attachment behavior characterizes human beings

from birth to death. This original attachment forms the working model for a system of

later attachment behavior that is relatively stable throughout childhood. Continuity is due

primarily to the persistence of interrelated mental models of self and social life in the

context of a fairly stable family setting (Bowlby, 1973). Bowlby's studies hypothesized

Attachment and Spiritual Maturity 20

that early attachment formed a framework that persisted through life. This persistence for social cohesion is controlled through affect.

The Role of Affect

This section will explore the role of affect which plays an important role in the

claim that later relationships are strongly affected by early attachment relationships.

Research findings indicate that there are continuities between early attachments and later

peer relationships, so that some reflection of attachment quality is carried forward within

the individual (Belsky & Cassidy, 1994). Ainsworth's research suggested affectional

bonds are a means for explaining how attachment is carried from childhood to adulthood.

Affective bonds are also related to the emotional control system for attachment behavior.

Ainsworth discovered developmental changes in the nature of children's

attachments to parents and others during the years beyond infancy (Ainsworth, 1989).

She noted that different affectional bonds move from infancy to attachment ofchild to

parents, to child-parent attachment during adulthood, and to other affectional bonds

throughout the life span. In describing this, she suggested affectional bonds were not the

same as relationships. These bonds are long lasting and relationships may or may not be

enduring. Affectional bonds are represented in the internal organization of the individual

person, where as relationships are dyadic. Third, a relationship grows out of the total

interaction of two individuals' history, involving much varied content. An affectional bond

she defines as a relatively long-enduring tie in which the parent is important as a unique

individual and is unable to be exchanged with any other.

The affect a relationship produces determines the nature of an affectional bond.

Affectional bonds create a desire to maintain closeness that brings pleasure and joy.

When separation occurs, it tends to cause distress and a desire for reunion. An

attachment is an affectional bond with the added experiential dimension of enough

security and comfort obtained from the relationship creating the ability to move away

from the secure base with confidence to engage other activities. Friendships, marriages, or

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