Attachment Styles and Spiritual Maturity: The Role of Secur…

Attachment and Spiritual Maturity 7

skills (Daniels, 1983). Seminaries are now finding that training mature spiritual leaders

needs to include personal development at cognitive, affective, and behavioral levels.

Entering seminary students today seem to be experiencing more problems than in

earlier times. They are often severely deficient in basic relational skills and experiences

(Botton, King, & Venugopal, 1997). It can no longer be assumed that these students have

had the early childhood, adolescent, and family experiences that are associated with

building supportive relationships, keeping commitments, and resolving conflicts. In fact,

many students come from home environments where models of trust, love, self-esteem, power, and identity were either absent or uncertain (London & Wiseman, 1993). There

should not then be surprise when students have difficulty experiencing trust in God or

expressing compassion toward others, marks of spiritual maturity.

Further, students can profess belief in correct doctrine or theology but secretly

hide sins involving misdirected sexuality, addiction, lying, etc. Rather than integrating

their faith with life, they keep their private life in a very different internal space separate from their beliefs about God and the love and grace that He has for them (Wilkins, 1997a).

In the emptiness of seminary students private lives, they often turn to

performance in school and in ministry hoping to experience belonging, value, and worth.

On the one hand, their successful performance leads to an experience of value and worth

associated with competence. This competence provides a cover-up of an unmet need for

belonging and validation. External experiences ofworth alone seldom bring satisfaction

and contentment. Instead these experiences may breed perfectionism and a continuing

sense that their work is seldom good enough. Eventually, these seminary students may

turn to the pleasures of sin for their much needed relief. On the other hand, if their

performance is not successful, they may feel guilty, blame themselves, and feel depressed.

This guilt cycle recreates the need for the momentary pleasure of sin again and again

(Hart, 1993).

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