Attachment and Spiritual Maturity 18
Foundations.ofRelational Attachment
A psychological theory which attempts to provide a good model to understand the continuity of developmental stages in human relationships is attachment theory. John Bowlby's important trilogy (1969, 1973, 1980) on attachment, separation, and loss, (the processes by which affectional bonds are forged and broken) is a landmark in
contemporary psychology. He describes how infants are emotionally attached to their
primary caregivers and emotionally distressed when separated from them. Attachment
theory was developed by Bowlby having observed the behavior of infants and young
children who for various lengths of time were separated from their primary caretaker
(usually mother).
The name 'secure base' given to mothers' relationships to their children was
developed by Bowlby (1969). He noticed that separated children go through a series of
emotional reactions. The first involving crying, active searching, and resistance to others'
soothing efforts, was called protest. The second was a state of passivity and obvious
sadness called despair. And the third, was an active, seemingly defensive disregard for
and avoidance of the mother if she returned, called detachment. This series of behaviors
seemed to evolve to protect infants from danger by keeping them close to the mother.
These infant behaviors consist of crying, eye contact, smiling, and snuggling. When
toddlers, they can actively pursue their mother and vocalize their need. Most important for the study at hand is that Bowlby noticed that when children are unafraid and in the presence oftheir mother, they are interested in exploring and mastering the environment,
and establishing contact with others.
The parental bond between parent and child formed by the secure base may be
not only the strongest but also the most important of human attachments (Klaus,
Kennell, & Klaus, 1995). Consequently, any separation is important to a child. The
primary fear of humans is being separated from mother creating the fear of abandonment.
Long separations beyond a half a day in the first two years of life may cause trauma for a
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