Cohesion and Clarity
12- 17
significance at the kinase level between low-grade/early-stage
and high-grade/late-stage tumors. (Adapted from Gritsko et al.,
2003)
although
however
other
previous
√ Repeat key terms as often as needed; do not substitute new words for terms already introduced. Although monotonous repetition of a word or group of words can be avoided by the use of pronouns, some repetition is good. Repeating key terms makes it clear to readers that a topic has not changed; on the other hand, varying key terms (for example, radical surgical resection , complete surgical resection , and surgical extirpation ) can confuse readers and may lead them to think the topic has changed when it has not.
The following paragraph would be clearer if the same term were used for each item in bold:
The association of a family history of prostate adenocarcinoma with a number of clinical and pathological features has been investigated in several studies, 7 – 19 but no specific characteristics have been identified to distinguish familial prostate cancer cases from sporadic cases. Therefore, we have also examined whether reporting of a family history of prostate carcinoma varied with the grade of disease in the cases. (Adapted from Staples et al., 2003) √ Use parallel structures in writing sentences and expressing thoughts in paragraphs. Bruce Ross-Larson, author of Edit Yourself, writes, “Words and groups of words that do the same work are easier to read if they are similar (parallel) in grammatical cons tructions…. The construction of sentences presenting similar facts or ideas should be parallel, too, as should any recurring sentence parts.”
Look at these 2 sentences joined by however. Notice how parallel, that is, how similar in structure, the 2 sentences are:
Studies of daf-2 genetic mosaic animals showed that animals lacking daf-2 activity from the entire AB cell lineage, which generates nearly all of the hypodermis and nervous system and half of the pharynx, have extended life-spans. However, mosaic animals lacking daf-2 activity from blastomere
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