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thing to remember to bring with you is your best sense of humour. Believe me, you’ll need it. It wasn’t long before I became somewhat addicted to this new form of Croquet. At the 7me of this first tournament, in 2017, I was a scratch player. Just two years earlier I was one of the most improved players, so I had become rather accustomed to my fair share of winning. Oh boy, was I brought down a peg or two! I was quickly reminded of the art of coming second. The speed of the court saw my first three croquet strokes go flying out of bounds, hoop approaches were going past hoops by a country mile and, as for the roll shots, apparently Barlow Cs do ‘odd things’.
ALISON MAUGHAM
On a mission to bring croquet to the people
Let me tell you a story, which begins with my dad (Cliff Jones) asking me to play Croquet with him. He said: “Would
you like to play some croquet this winter?”, to which I replied “Of course, I always want to play Croquet”. But then, he added the catch, or in fact mul7ple catches: “It’s indoor croquet. Oh, and it’s doubles, so you will be playing with me. Oh, and it’s handicap…. Oh, and it’s speed croquet.” Naturally I couldn’t resist, but I was in for a shock. As I walked into the Sports Hall of the Ross Peers Sports Centre in Soham, I found myself amongst other players all wearing whites, looking very serious, rushing and shuffling around like I had never seen croquet players behave before. This was in fact, an en7rely new breed of Croquet player, and I soon became one of them.
That season Dad and I didn’t win a single tournament, but we did win a few games as we gradually mastered the speed of the carpet. Naturally I would be back the following season, determined as ever to get back to winning. That following season I returned with a new partner. This 7me it was my husband who had to work out how to play this most frustra7ng new style of croquet. David, whose Associa7on Croquet handicap was ‐2.5, provided our pairing with a new challenge: an
Alison & Cliff... a long 0me ago
addi7onal two‐and‐a‐half‐minute penalty. This meant we had 22 minutes and 30 seconds to complete fourteen points, whilst also scoring three peels on our other ball. We learned quickly that a four‐ball break was not the way forward, as too many roquets and croquets took too much 7me. And the ba8le was on. My partner, the England Team Captain, and I didn’t win a single tournament. Perhaps I
shouldn’t have switched partners. Finally, on the second weekend of tac7cs and tensions we won our first two games. But the wins were s7ll few and far between. In 2019 the monthly weekends became monthly ‘Maugham family holiday’. Bemused onlookers in the sports hall would witness the most compe77ve croquet couple in the world, with their baby sleeping courtside and, a'er a few years, toddling a'er his parents with his own mallet in hand.
Ross Peers Sports Centre, Soham
The one‐day tournaments are played as Associa7on Croquet 14‐point handicap games. Each pair has their handicap assigned to them which is on a scale from “lots of bisques” down to “having to do some peels”. There’s also the clock, which starts at 25 minutes and counts down whilst each pair is in play. As the players race against the 7me and each other, this game of Croquet brings out the best and the worst in all, no ma8er who you are or what standard you play at. And, apart from your mallet, the most important
Finally in 2022 we had cracked it. I was on the winning side again and it felt great. But in 2023 fate threw a curve ball. Month by month the tournament had ever fewer players and we would start struggling to break even and cover the costs of the hall rental. We did survive Covid‐19, but the sports centre needed to earn more, and twelve croquet
www.croquetengland.org.uk | 19
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