Fizzy by Jessica Anne Rose
About Jessica Anne Rose: (she/her)
you are not like a flower that can be picked apart petal by petal. it is not that easy to get down to the stem! many women are compared to flowers delicate soft pliable but you are not like any woman I’ve known when i think of you i see gold. i remember the first time I saw you and how you made the room feel full, welcoming me with a crinkled eye smile. we were both stone cold sober but I felt like I was full of champagne bubbles the kind you read about in books that taste like novelty and excitement but you are not a novelty that wears off then, you laughed loudly and carefree, I glanced at you, and that was the moment i saw you were gold. you exist in a way that shortens my breath because you are unapologetic, confident and unprecedented, beautiful and intelligent, and you possess a hidden strength you shouldn’t have to have but you yield it like a sword and face it head on. - If this is to be a fleeting experience, let’s remember it like an ill advised moment of youthful insanity remember the feeling of eyeliner glueing tired eyes together the smooth bump of road heading home with music ringing in your ears maybe a little alcohol pleasantly warming your chest as you float home, with laughs ingrained into your skin along with spritzes of perfume and the welcome promise of a warm bed. Dear Cliona, I could have read a library full of books and I would not have found someone as special as you are to me. someone who gives me so much hope that people like me exist in this world. when this fog lifts and the world comes back to life, please don’t fear that my emotions will dissolve too in a puff of rose coloured smoke!
I began writing poetry around the age of fourteen when I grew tired of moping in my journals. Poetry is my favourite medium - you can take a feeling or a moment and compress it into a neat little package, you get to move on whilst acknowledging what you went through. My poetry has naturally evolved as I’ve grown older, I’m now twenty two and my poems revolve around the chaos of your twenties, finally understanding and coming to terms with my neurodivergence, and snippets of life that feel like they’re once in a lifetime and have to be recorded. My earlier poems talk a lot about my mental health and feeling different, though I still write about those topics I now love to experiment with format and take inspiration from fleeting moments. This particular poem, fizzy, was written in 2019 when I was seventeen years old and finally finding peace with my sexuality despite coming out very early at fourteen. I went to my first house party; it was Halloween, I was Beetlejuice, she was a ninja. Butterflies at first sight. This poem was the beginning of my ‘name and shame’ policy that I’ve used in all of my poetry since. I wrote fizzy that night about the joyous feeling of fancying women and how beautiful they are. For the first time it felt light, it felt fun, it felt exciting. It felt like something I could finally accept as part of my life, something enjoyable rather than something to fear. It remains very close to my heart as I remember how childlike the crush felt, and I hope to feel that way again with someone who reciprocates it. Someday! I want to thank Cork Pride Magazine for this very full circle moment! Back when I’d just come out and felt extremely self conscious and alone, I found a Nando’s pride flag on the ground outside Paul’s Street and snuck it home. It was my symbol of hope that one day I’d feel proud enough to hold a flag celebrating who I was. The flag is on my bedroom wall to this day.
in public by Rebecca Ruane
I entered into a minority at the age of twenty one baptised by the holy water and ice fucked at me from lads in a passing car stood with girlfriend in hand a bit taken aback a bit of me wished to retract the truth I’d had ripped from my grip whatever way I came I was there in that moment soaked there was no dignified way to be wet in public on the first night I was gay in public
progress. Other collaborations include projects with writer/director Al Dalton and visual artist Elinor Donovan. Rebecca's poetry work has been published both nationally and internationally in Skylight 47, WordCityLit, Washing Windows Anthology, Stoney Thursday, Vox Galvia, The Cabinet Of Heed, Broadsheet, impspired, Ink Sweat and Tears, Open Skies, Spilling Cocoa Over Martin Amis, Drawn To The Light, Lothlorien Poetry Journal, Poetry With Pride, ThePlatformOnline.uk, etc. She has given readings at Over The Edge, Lime Square Poets and The Hall of The Red Earl as well as having her work used as an audio piece in Cork Citys’ Quare festival. She has been selected for mentorships with Keith Payne (Cork City Libraries' Poet in residence) and Skylight47s Open Window mentorship with Mary Madec. Rebecca believes poetry is best when used to incriminate yourself and when it includes the embarrassing part of the story. This was learned through years of poetry workshops with her eternal poetry teacher, the late Kevin Higgins, who never made those parts feel shameful. You can find more
About Rebecca Ruane: (she/her)
Rebecca Ruane is a vocalist, songwriter and poet from Galway who holds a first class Masters Degree in Vocal Performance, a Degree in Popular Music and is a current member of the Peer Panel for The Arts Council of Ireland. She has performed across the country, Germany and the UK, as well as singing backing vocals for Shane Filan, The Voice of Ireland, TOUCAN, Daniel O’Donnell, SAL, Sarah Hickey, live and in studio. Tall Tail was her theatre writing debut in collaboration with ALSA Productions and Conor Clancy to a sold out run in Cork's Midsummer Festival (2019) and another at Graffiti Theatre Company. Recently, Rebecca has been collaborating with writer/director Hanan Sheedy and composer Conor Clancy to write a new musical for young audiences. This work has received a development grant from the Arts Council of Ireland and has been presented as a work in
they were there long before and will be long after, flashing with gold, crackling with anticipation for the unknown
we both have parts of us we’d not anticipated having but neither of us have ever let those parts limit us so,
when this storm passes, I will be here waiting with my hand outstretched for yours. I promise if you take it to always have an open ear to listen, a gentle voice to advise, a laugh for your jokes and a smile to remind you I am so happy I chose you and you chose me.
of Rebecca's work at www.patreon.com/ RebeccaRuane or @rebeccaruaneee on instagram.
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