and administrators develop empathy and compassion,” says Perez. About 15 years ago, Perez learned a great deal by organizing a “school community night”—a meeting between parents, educators and administrators. “We offered day care and snacks and held the event in the evening. That’s when many people were done with work. As a result, so many families came. Both moms and dads came. That’s notable. Before, when we held events earlier in the day, a lot of dads couldn’t come. Their voices had been missing,” says Perez. Every parent or guardian has their own concerns. Cesar Granados, controller for the Canal Alliance, is currently working to keep his young son connected to their shared heritage. “My wife and I are caring for my son, and her mother, who is older. We all live together in a duplex in Fairfax. It’s great having her present. But I’m the only one in the house who speaks Spanish. I want to do more to make sure my son is bilingual,” says Granados. Working with private care Even caregivers who are shouldering much of the work themselves can occasionally or regularly use the care of an in-home care provider. The staff of these companies can offer companionship for older adults as well as transportation to doctor appointments or the grocery store. “I am in this situation myself, because my dad is older. So I’m both a customer and the owner of Right At Home Santa Rosa. A caregiver just can’t be everywhere at all times. We direct our customers to trustworthy caregivers,” says Erica Carlisle. Right At Home serves residents of Napa and Sonoma counties. The company conducts background checks and makes sure referred professionals receive training as well as instructions about what tasks to perform and care to provide. “One of the best features we offer is that caregivers write detailed notes. If an older parent has a memory issue and can’t remember everything they did, there are notes from the caregiver to review,” says Carlisle. Carlisle’s tip for parents and guardians “in the middle” is to make time to spend with children and listen to them, while expecting them to help out. “Kids should know that there are times other people’s needs come before theirs. They should also get the sense that they can contribute, whether that means helping make dinner or taking out the trash,” says Carlisle. Shauna Sweeney is the founder of Tendercare, a free information- sharing app that makes it easier for caregivers to care for aging loved ones by becoming more organized, more prepared and more connected to vetted resources. Sweeney says technology can play an important part in improving care for older adults. Sweeney currently splits her time between New York, where she lives, and Marin County, where her aging father lives. “I developed this app because I was struggling to manage care for my father on my own. This platform helps family caregivers organize critical information, set doctor appointments, connect with vetted professionals such as elder law attorneys, and plan for emergencies. It also especially helps those who don’t live in the same place as their aging parent,” says Sweeney. Sweeney says the most important thing she has learned about being a caregiver is time is the most expensive currency. “A caregiver is constantly pulled between their parents and their children, their spouse and their job. Often, they end up at the very end of the list. What I am doing, personally and as a business owner, is resetting priorities. I put myself on the list of people to take care of. I count too. I want other caregivers to have the tools and the opportunity to feel appreciated,” says Sweeney. g
Five ways friends and family members can be there for caregivers n Support the caregiver with active, empathetic listening. If it feels like the caregiver’s needs exceed your abilities to be supportive, recommend a therapist, nonprofit or caregivers’ support group. n Support healthy self-care. Encourage the caregiver to set boundaries, take timeouts, enjoy their family and friends, and recognize when they need additional assistance. n Remember that different cultures have different expectations of family caregiving. Support begins with the acceptance of differences. Observe and invite the caregiver to explain the concerns about care of older adults and childcare. These might be unique to their culture and family dynamics. Knowing what they’re dealing with gives you a better basis to support them. n Find ways to make a caregiver’s life easier. This can include having a “potluck night” where each family brings a dish, watching a movie together, picking up groceries, organizing a carpool for school or children’s activities, or going for a walk with an older adult. The idea is to give the caregiver time for themselves. n Be a “kind mirror.” If you notice that a caregiver is exhibiting exhaustion or depression, understand they need some help. Signs of concern include instances of unexpected and increased irritability, frequent illnesses, excessive worry, withdrawal from social interaction and physical and mental fatigue. Let the caregiver know that you are concerned about them.—JZ
parents,” says Enriquez. It is a special challenge to reach the members of the Latino community who work in agricultural areas in West Marin. “There everything is more remote and spread out. There are some services, but not all the services they need,” says Enriquez. Mayra Perez, the acting interim principal of Madrone High School in San Rafael, says addressing the needs of the Latino community requires listening to parents. “When you get them to open up, they share their life stories. Many are concerned about working so much that they can’t be home with their children at night. Hearing the stories first-hand helps educators
Please email comments to jwalsh@NorthBaybiz.com
36 NorthBaybiz
September 2025
Made with FlippingBook interactive PDF creator