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NOVEMBER 2025
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The One Skill That Saves Time, Stress, and Headaches Use Your Common Sense
If the stove is hot and you touch it, you will get burned, so you have to keep your hands off it. If you arrive at the airport just 10 minutes before your flight, you will miss it. So, something instinctual within you should kick in before you travel: If you arrive early, you will have plenty of time to board the plane. Common sense is understanding basic concepts that apply in life without overthinking them. They are the simple truths most of us learn at a young age and naturally apply to our decisions. Use Your Common Sense Day is on Nov. 4, and it’s really about paying attention, thinking ahead, and knowing when to act or step back so you don’t make the same mistakes repeatedly. I’ve gotten much better at learning from and not repeating my mistakes. It’s certainly common sense to try something different when you’ve tried it several times and get the same unsatisfying results each time. I learned that lesson about arriving at the airport on time the hard way, by missing a few flights because I didn’t show up early enough. Even if the traffic is awful, you’ll still arrive on time if you plan ahead and account for those situations. As a lawyer, you pick up a whole other set of common wisdom along the way. I learned early on as a trial lawyer that when you have a witness on the stand who won’t shut up, just let them talk. Allow them to word vomit everything and dig their own grave. Read the
room and understand when you need to say less. When you get a ruling in your favor, get out. Don’t give anyone the opportunity to change their mind. Listen to that gut feeling that’s telling you to zip it. I could probably do many tasks better than anyone, but I have enough sense to know it’s not the best use of my time, and I could delegate those. Our team also has the innate understanding that we all need to break things down into layman’s terms for our clients because they don’t know the same technical jargon or legal terms that we do. Common sense keeps coming back and telling you not to overcomplicate things. Managing your time and goals also requires common sense because they never simply fall into your lap. If I have a trial and didn’t start preparing until the night before, of course, I won’t be rested and ready for the big day. When I set goals, I think about the outcome I want and work backward to figure out when I need to do what to get there. If I want to run a 5K in 30 minutes by Dec. 31 but don’t start practicing until Dec. 15, it’s not happening. You need common sense in just about every aspect of your life. Problem-solving often starts by slowing down, asking questions, and discovering that it’s usually much simpler than it appears. Again, common sense means finding the most straightforward, practical solution to this challenge.
So often, the most sensible thing to do is to keep your mouth shut. Even with the holiday season on the way, if your uncle and mother disagree on politics, don’t bring it up at Thanksgiving. If someone’s steering the conversation that way, stop it and de-escalate it so a fight doesn’t break out over the turkey. At the end of the day, common sense is about being aware, recognizing patterns, learning from mistakes, and choosing the simplest path. Whether having a peaceful family dinner, catching a flight, or winning a case, trust your instincts and apply basic logic, and you won’t get burned.
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Stronger in the Struggle Help Your Child Manage Anxiety
Instead, reassure them that they can manage the outcome, regardless of what happens, and that all anyone expects is their best effort. If your child is worried about tryouts for a competitive team, it may help to talk through what might happen if their anxiety about failing comes true. Empower your child to embrace two seemingly conflicting realities — they may feel doomed to fail a test, but those feelings aren’t facts, and no one can foresee the future. Reassure them that if they practice managing their fears, staying calm and collected will become easier. And model healthy responses to your own anxieties, describing your coping mechanisms and self-care strategies. The responses children learn as youngsters are likely to stick with them into adulthood. Taking a thoughtful approach to teaching emotion regulation tools will go a long way toward instilling resilience, flexible thinking, and other hallmarks of good mental health.
Watching a child suffer anxiety is hard, and some children worry more than others. Some psychologists say smartphones, social media, and overprotective parenting have made it more difficult for an entire generation of youngsters today to manage their anxiety. Some 21% of kids ages 3–17 have been diagnosed with anxiety, public health data show. At its heart, anxiety is an inability to tolerate uncertainty and a lack of confidence in oneself to handle whatever happens. Gaining courage to face one’s fears and learning to endure unpleasant feelings without letting them control you are areas
where children can greatly benefit from a parent’s support and guidance.
If your child is prone to anxiety, it’s important to avoid the knee-jerk instinct many parents experience: to offer comfort and try to make things easier. Instead, acknowledge their nervousness and reassure them that feeling a little scared can be normal. Don’t engage in magical thinking by comforting your child with promises that they’ll pass a test, find countless new friends, or perform perfectly in a game or concert. And steer them away from comparing themselves with others, a habit that undermines their confidence.
Adoption Behind the Scenes Clearing Confusion About Rights and Timelines
Building a family through adoption is a journey full of hope and love, but it also comes with legal complexities and persistent misconceptions. November is National Adoption Awareness Month, the perfect time to celebrate families who welcome a child into their lives through adoption. It’s also an opportunity to shed light on the process and dispel common myths that can make it feel intimidating, like parental rights and the wait time. Here are two topics that come up most frequently about the legal steps. PARENTAL RIGHTS Many people who are interested in adopting have questions about what legal rights the birth parents may have. Specifically, some adopters are concerned the mother or father can take the child back at any time. Though it varies from state to state, once a parent puts their child up for adoption, they have a set amount
of time before they are legally permitted to surrender their parental rights. Once the court finalizes an adoption, the child is considered part of the adoptive family, and the birth family can’t regain custody of the child. In some cases, a birth mother may have a small window to change her mind called a revocation period, but it’s rare and has to happen early on. TIMELINE There are plenty of stories about adoptions taking years to actually come to fruition, scaring away potential parents. Adoptions are a lengthy process and can take six months to multiple years, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that’s how long you will wait. The time frame depends on several factors, like the type of adoption, the child’s age, and whether you are working with an attorney or agency. You’ll go through multiple background checks, home visits, and screenings during the process. You can reduce your wait
time if your preferences are open, you can work with the birth parents, and have a solid budget.
Adoption is a life-changing gift for children and their new families, but the process can feel overwhelming if you don’t have someone to guide you along the way. At Douglass & Runger, we can help ensure everything moves smoothly so you can focus on building lifelong memories with your loved ones. Contact us today.
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The holiday season is a time for togetherness, joy, and cherished traditions, but the logistics can feel overwhelming if you are divorced. How do you honor the beloved family rituals when everyone’s no longer under the same roof? It’s okay if things don’t look quite the same this year. By adapting those traditions in new ways and collaborating with your co-parent, you can ensure these festive moments feel fair and warm for everyone in your family. HONOR THE PAST, EMBRACE THE PRESENT Even though logistical changes may affect your holiday time, this doesn’t mean you have to give up your favorite activities. Think about changing the traditions so they align with your current circumstances. Creative solutions can keep the meaning and energy of these moments alive without anyone feeling left out. For example, if the family used to open presents together on Christmas morning, maybe now one parent can host the festivities on Christmas Eve, while the other keeps doing it on Christmas morning. If you used to attend a special holiday event or market, maybe this year, everyone makes homemade gifts to share instead, or you host separate holiday movie nights. The Season of Togetherness, Redefined Preserving Joy and Holiday Traditions Post-Divorce
Inspired by ThePioneerWoman.com
Slow Cooker Brisket
Ingredients •
1 (1-oz) envelope onion soup mix 1 tbsp brown sugar 1 1/2 tsp kosher salt
•
1 lb carrots, peeled and cut into 2-inch pieces
• • •
• 1 lb baby golden potatoes • 3 celery stalks, cut into 1-inch pieces • 1 large sweet onion, cut into 8 wedges • 2 1/2 cups beef stock • 2 tbsp Worcestershire sauce • 2 tbsp cornstarch
1/2 tsp ground black pepper
•
1 3-lb piece of beef brisket (flat cut)
• 8 fresh thyme sprigs • 8 whole garlic cloves • 2 bay leaves
Directions 1. In a small bowl, combine soup mix, sugar, salt, and pepper. Sprinkle over brisket. 2. Place meat, fat cap side down, into an 8-qt slow cooker. 3. Top brisket with thyme, garlic, bay leaves, carrots, potatoes, celery, and onion. 4. Whisk stock, Worcestershire sauce, and cornstarch until fully dissolved. Add to slow cooker. 5. Cover and cook on high for 5–6 hours until tender. 6. Remove to a cutting board, fat side up. Remove thyme and bay leaves. 7. Thinly slice brisket against the grain. 8. Serve with vegetables, drizzled with gravy from the slow cooker. INSPIRATION “Love runs stronger than blood. Deeper than any name you could give me.” —Andrew Peterson
WORK TOGETHER The more you can collaborate with your co-parent, the more harmonious and stress-free this time of year will be. Start planning early so both parents have ample time to make arrangements, coordinate schedules, and prepare. Decide how you want to split up traditions between the two of you. You could handle different activities on the holiday itself, like one parent watching the Thanksgiving Day parade with the kids and the other hosting the meal. You could also alternate holidays, with one parent celebrating one year and the other the following. No matter what you decide, explain it clearly to your children and create a parenting plan or use a co-parenting app so it’s all easy to access. By rethinking your favorite family traditions alongside your co-parent, you can ensure the whole holiday season still feels exciting for you and your children. If you need help modifying your parenting plan or custody arrangements, our team can ensure your child’s best interests are always prioritized. Contact Douglass & Runger for a consultation.
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2865 Summer Oaks Drive Bartlett, TN 38134 901-388-5805 DouglassRunger.com
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1 Hot Stoves, Missed Flights, and Life Lessons 2 When Comfort Collides With Courage: Parenting an Anxious Child Legal Facts Every Parent Should Know 3 Creative Ways to Celebrate Despite New Dynamics Slow Cooker Brisket 4 How Background Noise Shapes Your Workflow INSIDE THIS ISSUE
Sound Advice Is Your Work Playlist Helping or Hurting Your Focus?
The hum of a busy coffee shop, traffic outside, your favorite song through your headphones as you work — we live in a noisy world with constant background noise. But is that ambient buzz boosting your brainpower or creating static in the system? While some swear a little noise helps them focus, for others, every passing siren or side conversation is a distraction. Let’s tune in and find out if that background noise could be a productivity playlist or sound sabotage. BRAIN BEATS Your brain is always busy trying to filter out distractions, and how background noise impacts your noggin depends on what it is. Steady or low-level sounds, like raindrops or white noise, can help hide other intrusive interruptions, making it easier to focus on the task you’re working on. Irregular, sudden, surprise, or meaningful sounds, like a direct
conversation, notifications on your phone, or lyrics to a beloved song, activate your brain, pulling you out of the concentration zone.
SOUND SUPPORT If you are working on something that
requires light focus, like answering emails, then the right kind of background noise, something like instrumental music, can help you stay on track. Other beneficial times for background noise include working in a loud environment or letting low-level sounds shift your brain into creative or problem-solving mode. The key is choosing something that won’t distract your mind from what you’re trying to focus on. CUE THE QUIET Noise most often gets in the way of more complex or challenging work, such as reading, writing, meetings, learning new skills, or
finding solutions to issues. Deeper tasks require more brainpower, like using memory or vocabulary skills. When your brain engages in more concentrated tasks, it is more sensitive to interruptions, so a song lyric or burst of action on the TV can win out against the quieter goal you’re trying to accomplish. Background noise can be a sound decision or just more racket. The trick is tuning into what helps your mind focus without being carried away by the clatter.
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