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The Bledsoe Firm JustFamilyLaw.com | 949.363.5551 SEPTEMBER | 2025
WHAT WE LOST ON 9/11
AND WHAT WE FOUND IN EACH OTHER
It’s a question that instantly takes people back in time. Everyone seems to remember exactly where they were, what they were doing, and who they were with. Sept. 11, 2001, is etched into our memory not just as a day of loss and fear, but also as a day when our lives were ripped apart and somehow stitched back together through unity. That morning, the unimaginable happened. The skyline of New York City was forever changed, and with it, so were the lives of thousands. Innocent men, women, and children were lost. First responders ran toward danger without hesitation, and families waited by phones, glued to TVs, praying for loved ones they might never see again. The pain was real, and it was everywhere.
very real, but if we learned anything from Sept. 11, it’s that the best response to crisis isn’t isolation or finger-pointing. It’s leaning in, reaching out, and standing side by side.
We can’t always control what happens around us, but we can control how we respond. When we choose empathy over indifference, kindness over conflict, and community over separation, we uphold the same spirit that carried us through the darkest days of 2001. Being patriotic isn’t just about waving a flag on the Fourth of July or singing the national anthem at a baseball game. True patriotism is about being there for one another, especially when it’s hard. It’s about believing in the good we’re capable of, even when times are tough. It’s about honoring the sacrifices made by so many, not just with words, but with actions — by showing up, listening, and caring.
But in the midst of devastation, we came together.
In the days and weeks that followed, strangers became neighbors. American flags flew high from front porches, highways, and even car antennas. People stood in line for hours to donate blood. Churches, synagogues, mosques, and community centers opened their doors for prayer and support. We checked on one another and listened more closely. That unshakable sense of unity didn’t erase the grief, but it gave us strength and reminded us of something we sometimes forget in the day-to-day noise of modern life: When we stand together, we’re capable of extraordinary resilience. Fast forward to today, and it’s easy to feel overwhelmed by the challenges we face as a nation and as a world. Political division, social unrest, natural disasters, and economic uncertainty are all
Patriotism doesn’t mean we have to agree on everything. In fact, part of what makes this country great is our freedom to disagree. But there’s a difference between disagreement and division. The former helps us grow; the latter tears us apart. And we’ve seen too much of the latter lately.
As we remember Sept. 11, let’s not just reflect on what we lost. Let’s remember what we found in its wake: each other. Let’s carry that same spirit of unity forward, not just in moments of national tragedy, but in everyday moments that test our patience, compassion, and resolve. Because if we could come together then, we can come together now.
We owe it to those we lost. We owe it to those who sacrificed. And we owe it to each other.
—John Bledsoe
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RECLAIMING YOUR PEACE SETTING BOUNDARIES AFTER A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP
Define what is and isn’t acceptable. This could include how you’ll communicate, what topics are off-limits, and how you’ll respond when they try to cross the line. Boundaries give you the power to make decisions that serve your mental and emotional health without apology. BE CLEAR, DIRECT, AND CONSISTENT. If your ex constantly texts you late at night to argue or rehash old wounds, it’s okay to say, “I will only respond to messages that are about our child and only during appropriate hours.” Then stick to it. Toxic people will test your boundaries to see if you’ll cave. The more consistent you are, the more they’ll learn that manipulation won’t work anymore. USE COMMUNICATION TOOLS WHEN NECESSARY. If you’re co-parenting, tools like TalkingParents or OurFamilyWizard are great ways to streamline communication and reduce emotional chaos. These platforms document all conversations, which often discourages impulsive or inappropriate messaging.
If you don’t share children, you have even more freedom to go low-contact or no-contact. Block their number and mute their social media accounts. You don’t owe them access to your life just because you used to share one. DON’T TAKE THE BAIT. Toxic exes love to bait you with accusations, guilt trips, and subtle jabs. But you don’t have to respond to every provocation. In fact, you shouldn’t. A short, calm reply, or no reply at all, is often the best way to shut down drama. Refuse to be pulled back into patterns you’ve worked so hard to escape. REGAIN YOUR SELF-RESPECT. Setting boundaries isn’t mean. Instead, it’s a mature and healthy way to protect your peace. You’re not responsible for your ex’s reaction; you’re only responsible for your own behavior and well-being. Standing your ground may feel uncomfortable at first, but the freedom you’ll gain is worth every bit of it. Let your boundaries be the bridge to the life you truly deserve.
Setting boundaries with a toxic ex is both helpful and essential. Whether you’re co-parenting, finalizing a divorce, or trying to move on, toxic behavior can keep you trapped in a cycle of stress, confusion, and emotional exhaustion. The good news is you don’t have to stay stuck in that cycle. Boundaries are how you reclaim your peace. UNDERSTAND WHAT BOUNDARIES REALLY ARE. It’s important to know boundaries aren’t put in place to control the other person. They are designed to protect you. A toxic ex may try to manipulate conversations, provoke emotional reactions, or blur the lines of your new reality. That’s why clarity is your best friend.
The Same Plate Debate How Variety Can Save Your Gut, Mood, and Meals
NUTRIENTS NEED NEWNESS Your body needs a variety of nutrients and foods to stay healthy and balanced. If you are eating the same meals, you might miss out on the ingredients your gut microbiome and immune system crave. Repeating recipes too often could lead to nutrient deficiencies and starve your body of proteins and essential vitamins. While consuming some of the same foods every week is generally fine, change it up enough to get a good mix of antioxidant-rich foods. SAME BITES, SNEAKY SIGNS By avoiding new cuisine, you could miss essential food allergy or intolerance signs. If you have the same breakfast every morning but don’t feel well afterward, trying an alternative could show you that your preferred plateful is actually hurting more than helping. By restricting items in your diet, you could even develop new food sensitivities over time. Listen to your body and be willing to make adjustments if that routine treat is causing discomfort.
If you are stuck on your go-to kale smoothie or healthy quinoa salad for lunch, it may be time to shake up your plate and add a little variety to the menu. Eating the same thing every day might seem like a safe bet and an easy way to meal prep in your busy routine. But your body and taste buds deserve new flavors to keep things fresh and boost your immune system. Even the most nutritious diets can easily turn into a food rut. Grab a plate as we explore why you shouldn’t eat the same food daily. FIXATION OR FOOD FRUSTRATION? Turning to the same recipes daily could signal something about your mental or emotional health. Variety isn’t just crucial for our physical well-being; it keeps our minds engaged and helps prevent us from feeling blue. People who limit what and how much they eat may have an eating disorder called avoidant/restrictive food intake disorder (ARFID). ARFID can lead to health problems, as it causes people to avoid certain nutritious foods or not eat at all.
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W ord S earch
Is Your Spouse Gaslighting You?
Apples
Aster
Coffee
Constitution
Foliage
5 WARNING SIGNS TO WATCH FOR
Grandparents
Labor
Lunchbox
Gaslighting is one of the most insidious forms of emotional manipulation, and when it’s happening inside a marriage, it can be incredibly hard to spot because it doesn’t come all at once. It starts subtly, builds slowly, and often leaves the victim feeling like they’re losing their grip on reality. Gaslighting is when your spouse distorts the truth to make you question your perception of things, memory, or sanity. It’s not just the occasional disagreement about how a conversation went. It’s persistent, intentional, and meant to give one person power over the other. You might be told things like, “That never happened,” or “You’re being too sensitive.” Over time, these phrases chip away at your confidence. You may start to doubt your own feelings or apologize for things you didn’t do just to keep the peace. That’s gaslighting. Here are some common signs that it might be happening to you. • You constantly second-guess yourself or feel confused about conversations you thought were clear. • You feel like you’re “walking on eggshells” around your spouse, afraid to bring up concerns. • Your feelings are often dismissed or minimized, and you’re told you’re overreacting. • You find yourself apologizing all the time, even when you’re not sure why. • You feel isolated because you’re afraid to talk to others about what’s really going on. One of the most damaging effects of gaslighting is that it erodes your self- trust. When your own sense of reality becomes shaky, it’s easy to become dependent on the person who’s creating that confusion in the first place. That’s exactly what a gaslighter wants: to control the narrative and, by extension, control you. Recognizing gaslighting is the first step to breaking free. Once you name it, you can start to reclaim your voice and your power. That might mean reaching out to a therapist, confiding in someone you trust, or talking to us about your options.
Pirate
Sapphire
Virgo
Waffles
Inspired by ReclaimingYesterday.com
Turkey and Hummus Collard Wraps With Coconut Curry Sauce
INGREDIENTS Sauce: • 1/2 cup organic full-fat coconut milk • 1/4 cup almond butter • 2 tsp red curry paste • 3 tsp low-sodium soy sauce
Wraps: • 4 large collard green leaves • 1/2 cup hummus, divided • 3/4 lb sliced turkey • 1/2 carrots, grated • 1/4 bell pepper, sliced thinly • 1 zucchini, sliced thinly • 1/2 avocado, sliced • 1/4 cup cabbage, thinly sliced
• 1 tsp honey • Pinch of salt
DIRECTIONS
1. Mix all sauce ingredients until smooth. 2. Prepare collard leaves by cutting the stems off and trimming the thick vein that runs down the center of the leaf so that it lies flat. 3. Blanch collard leaves by dipping them into hot water, then immediately into cold water. 4. Dry leaves and lay flat, spreading 1–2 tbsp of hummus onto the center of each. 5. Add several turkey slices and sliced veggies. 6. Fold the right and left leaf sides in toward each other. Roll the collard leaf tight and tuck in the edges. Secure with two toothpicks, slice down the center, and serve with sauce for dipping.
You are not crazy, too sensitive, or imagining things. If your gut is telling you something is wrong, listen to it!
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Inside
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In the Face of Tragedy, We Found Each Other
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How to Set Clear Limits with a Toxic Ex Mix It Up for Maximum Nutrition Recognizing Gaslighting in Your Marriage Turkey and Hummus Collard Wraps With Coconut Curry Sauce
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5 Stunning Fall Hikes to Take This Season
THE ULTIMATE FALL HIKING BUCKET LIST
Leaf Lovers Welcome
GREAT SMOKY MOUNTAINS, TENNESSEE AND NORTH CAROLINA The Smoky Mountains are a fall favorite known for their endless ridgelines and misty valleys. Mid-to-late October is peak foliage season, especially along trails like Alum Cave or Clingmans Dome.
There’s something special about getting outdoors and hiking this time of year. The air is crisp, the bugs are (mostly) gone, and the trees show off their fiery red, yellow, and orange leaves. Whether you’re a seasoned trekker or just looking to enjoy leaf-peeping and fresh air, fall is the ultimate season to hit the trails. And the U.S. is brimming with stunning places to do just that.
COLUMBIA RIVER GORGE, OREGON If you’re looking for some of the most gorgeous waterfalls you’ve ever seen, the Columbia River Gorge is the spot! Trails like Multnomah Falls or Eagle Creek offer pretty fall colors, mossy cliffs, and cascading waterfalls.
ASPEN, COLORADO Come September, the mountainsides come alive with beautiful golden aspen leaves, hence the name! Hikes like the Cathedral Lake Trail or Maroon Bells Scenic Loop offer beautiful views of alpine lakes with gorgeous foliage and snow-dusted peaks. Just be sure to bring layers — mountain weather can be moody!
SHENANDOAH NATIONAL PARK, VIRGINIA
Just a short drive from Washington, D.C., Shenandoah National Park is a hidden gem for fall hiking. The Dark Hollow Falls Trail offers a challenging climb with stunning
ACADIA NATIONAL PARK, MAINE If you want coastal charm mixed with fall colors, Acadia
National Park delivers. Right along Maine’s gorgeous coastline, this park is full of color and stunning ocean views — a rare combination!
views of the Blue Ridge Mountains. For something gentler, the Stony Man Trail is perfect for families and still offers breathtaking scenery. With over 500 miles of trails, Shenandoah is a fall favorite on the East Coast.
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