Dr. Narramore, graduate of Columbia University, New York City, is a nationally known psychologist. He is the director of one of America's largest psychological clinics— The Christian Counseling center in Pasadena, California. LACK OF ASSURANCE OF SALVATION Q. I have been thinking about writ ing you for some time. I have been getting by for some years, but I am not happy and, although I have been a professing Christian for about 25 years, I never have had any assur ance of salvation. I have tried to live like a Christian — have no worldly desires, fleshly or otherwise — and after going to the altar altogether about twenty times in these years and confessing my sins, I seem to get nowhere. I have been a member of the church all this time. There has been some mental ill ness in the family, so I have about concluded that this may be my trou ble. It isn’t only in the religious line but shows up in my personal life. I am sure this comes from an un happy life at home, as my father was very domineering and would often quarrel and fuss, especially at the table. I developed an inferiority complex on the one hand and con siderable conceit on the other. I have had a good memory in the past, but at times now I forget just the very commonest things. Perhaps these things do not sound so very serums, but I am handicapped in getting acquainted with people and in other ways. I do feel the Lord is able to help in these things, but He seems so far away — no vital contact. Can you help me? A. I appreciate your w r i t i n g me about your problem of lack of assur ance of salvation. First let me as sure you that it is possible to be saved and secondly it’s possible to know it. This is the clear teaching of the Word of God. Undoubtedly you need to see a counselor such as a fine Gospel min ister for several sessions. You will
want to discuss such passages as John 10:28, “ And I give unto them eternal life and they shall never per ish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand.” When a counselor talks with you about your assurance of salvation, he will want to consider your person ality pr ob l ems . I have learned through the years that many people who are unsure of their salvation are suffering from emotional or mental problems. True, some people doubt their salvation because they do not understand the Word of God. But there are many people who do under stand the Word of God but their emotional and mental problems keep them so disturbed that they are not only unsure of their salvation, they are unsure of almost everything. In such cases this must be cleared up before they are able to gain assur ance of their salvation. It is hard to believe right when you don’t feel right. BACKSLIDING AT CHURCH Q. Do you think it is possible for a person that is quite active in church work to become so cold and spiritu ally starved that he would backslide? A. Yes, indeed. In fact, ministers and other church leaders should be on the lookout for people who are spending too much time in church activities. It is often a sign that the person is not well adjusted. Take “Mrs Smith” for example. For years she had worked at the church. She was the first to open the doors and the last at night to close them. She ate, slept, and drank church. Yet, the minister sensed that Mrs. Smith was not really a deeply spiritual person. In time, the pastor began to counsel with her. He found that she was a very insecure
person and that her activities in church were an unconscious attempt to meet this basic need in her life. She needed to get alone each day with the Lord to read His Word and to pray. But she had no time for this because she had to be at church. There are many Christians who do most of their backsliding at church. They are so engrossed in activities there that they miss out on real spir itual development which comes to a great extent from being alone with God. NEED FOR PRIVACY Q. Perhaps a discussion on “ The dif ference of the individual needs of privacy and time alone with a fam ily” might be interesting and help ful. In our family I seem to require more quiet time than my husband does. He doesn’t understand this and (lovingly) laughs at me about being “antisocial.” He is a most wonder ful man — so uncomplicated! Now, I am not complaining — I thank the Lord for such a Daddy and Husband. However, a mother of p r e - s c h o o l children, especially, must have time to get her mind or ganized and swept clean of “ clutter.” One thing I look forward to is getting dressed up, getting in the car alone and going grocery shop ping. Well, my husband invariably says, “ Why don’t we ALL go — I’ll watch the children while you select the groceries?" My heart sinks and I hate to say, “No, I’d rather go alone." Sometimes I do, and he gladly stays with the children at home, but I really know he can’t un derstand this. Am I wrong? A. You are right. Different people have different privacy needs. And a mother with pre-school children es pecially needs privacy. Husbands: let’s take note of this!
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