Common Reactions to Grief
Listed below, in no set order, are some common responses to grief. Perhaps you will identify with some of these.
• Disbelief, Shock, and Numbness : There is a sense of unreality about your loss. You hope it’s just a bad dream. The numbness can be a way of “cushioning” yourself until you can face the emotions of grief. • Anger : It can be directed at yourself, others, God, the one who died, or the persons who provided care. You look for somebody to blame. And there are more questions than answers: “Why them?” “Why now?” “How could God allow this?” • Relief : This is a common emotion after the death of someone who has endured a long-term illness. You may feel relief for yourself as well as for your loved one. However, sometimes feeling relieved is accompanied by guilt. • Guilt/Regret: You may blame yourself for not doing enough. You might say “if only I would’ve or could’ve.” In time, this emotion will likely pass. If you continue to believe you did something wrong and are unable to forgive yourself, seek help from someone who can listen nonjudgmentally. • Loneliness : Visitors have left and the house may seem so quiet and empty. You may wonder how you can go on like this! Reaching out to others for support is crucial so try not to isolate yourself.
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