EJ Smyth & Co - May 2020

(631) 271-7500 EJSmythco.com

May 2020

I Have a Screw Loose What I’ve Learned From the Coronavirus

I have a screw loose. In fact, I have many screws loose. Throughout my time in quarantine, I’ve been looking for ways to stay busy. One surprising, but highly recommended and satisfying, activity was walking through my house with a screwdriver and tightening every screw I could find. I tightened drawer handles, kitchen cabinets, window latches, faucets, etc. The biggest loose-screw culprits of all were door handles and strike plates. I’m not exaggerating when I say there was not a single door handle in my house that was not loose. There were a few door handles that I couldn’t even believe were still in place. After you have purged your closet, rearranged your food pantry, disposed of the years-old leftovers in your freezer, and cleaned your garage, you can still spend half an hour tightening all the screws in your house. When quarantine finally ends, you may have a figurative screw loose but not a literal one! In addition to discovering how many loose screws there were in my house, here’s what else I’ve learned in quarantine:

3.

Snatching an entire four-pack of Oreo cookies from a teenager and stuffing them all in my mouth at once is not as difficult as it sounds.

8.

Janitors, doctors, nurses, truckers, and grocery workers are essential.

9.

There is nothing you cannot learn how to do on YouTube. (I know how to rebuild the carburetor of a vintage motorcycle, and I’m 70% sure I could land a Boeing 747.)

4.

I’ll never take toilet paper or paper towels for granted ever again.

5.

Never waste leftovers. (Mirror, mirror on the wall, I am my mother after all …)

10. There is more junk in my garage,

basement, shed, and attic than I ever imagined.

6.

No battle plan survives first contact with the enemy. (Or as Mike Tyson put it: Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the face.)

Stay well.

1.

Facebook is the nuclear reactor of misinformation.

2.

Videoconferencing is useful, but there is no substitute for interaction with actual people.

7.

The definition of “essential” is negotiable.

P.S. Our office is still operating remotely. If you have questions about real estate, estate planning, or civil litigation, please email me at ESmyth@EJSmythCo.com.

“When quarantine finally ends, you may have a figurative screw loose but not a literal one!”

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