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October 2025
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Yes, I Still Have a MySpace Profile …
And Here’s What I Use It For
Before you start judging: Yes, I still have a MySpace profile.
I did — bands like Mars Volta, Fela Kuti, Billy Cobham, Buddy Rich, and Ima Robot. My profile was a mix of jazz, prog, Afrobeat, hardcore rock, and whatever else didn’t quite fit in anywhere. That music discovery alone made the site worth it. And unlike today’s algorithm-driven platforms, MySpace had actual soul. Your profile was yours. It was messy, personal, chaotic, kind of like the real world. No filters, no fake motivational quotes. Just you, your Top 8, and some autoplaying track that annoyed everyone within five seconds. So, yeah, I started over. My old profile’s probably lost to time, but I’m not. I’m still here. I’m a personal injury lawyer in Burbank now, running a firm that’s handled over 1,000 cases. I speak Portuguese and Spanish, I still love music, and I haven’t completely sold my soul to LinkedIn just yet. Having a MySpace page in 2025 is a little strange, sure. But it’s also a quiet rebellion against sameness. It’s a way to say, “I remember when the internet was weird and personal, and I kind of miss that.” And no, I don’t use it to get cases (though if someone rear-ends you while reminiscing about their old profile, feel free to call me). I use it because it still feels like a place where I can be myself, just like it did back then. And if you happen to stumble across an old MySpace profile linked to an EarthLink address that sounds vaguely familiar … shoot me a message. There might be a playlist in there that deserves one last listen.
No, not the original one. That one is probably floating in the void somewhere, tied to an old EarthLink email address I haven’t touched since the Bush administration.
But I recently started a new MySpace profile. Voluntarily. In 2025.
Why? Because my life’s changed. And honestly, I missed it.
Back in law school, I was a full-on MySpace power user. I used it to meet people — interesting people. Some of them became friends, many became dates (shhh, don’t tell anyone), and one even ended up at my wedding. It was the early 2000s, long before dating apps took over, and MySpace was where you went to connect through music, personality, and half-decent HTML skills. I used it especially before I moved to London for a year during law school. I connected with Londoners who loved the same music
“Having a MySpace page in 2025 is a little strange, sure. But it’s also a quiet rebellion against sameness.”
-Adrianos Facchetti
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The instrument made its public debut in 1906 with the opening of Telharmonic Hall in New York City. Guests could grab one of the phone receivers placed throughout the venue and listen to the synthesized music Telharmonium operators were performing on the floor below. Soon, phone users embraced Cahill’s technology at theaters, eateries, hotels, and homes nationwide. Unfortunately, the system proved glitchy — the organ’s electronic tones interrupted ordinary phone users mid-conversation — and AT&T decided not to invest in Cahill’s impractical invention to expand its reach. That inconvenience, coupled with high manufacturing costs (each Telharmonium cost $200,000, a fortune then) and operational demands (it required 2–4 musicians to play), eventually led to declining popularity and the closing of Telharmonic Hall by 1920. Sadly, no surviving audio recordings of the Telharmonium are believed to exist, and its last known version was dismantled and scrapped in the early 1960s. The Birth of Streaming Sound RECEIVERS AND RHAPSODIES
We celebrate the late Steve Jobs of Apple and Spotify CEO Daniel Ek as innovators in the world of music streaming, but the true pioneer of how most of us enjoy tunes in 2025 is a man who died nearly a century ago. A lawyer by trade, Thaddeus Cahill (1867–1934) spent his free time as an innovator, a hobby that eventually led him to revolutionize sound. In 1897, he received a patent for the Telharmonium, a 200-ton organ created to turn telephones into what could be considered the world’s first iPods. Looking more like a NASA control board than a musical instrument, the Telharmonium used electromagnetic impulses to create sounds similar to those of modern synthesizers and transmit them over telephone networks, essentially making the “hold music” of its time. Although bulky, the invention captured the hearts of music aficionados, including Mark Twain, who famously said, “I couldn’t possibly leave the world until I have heard this again and again.”
Surprising Southern Halloween Laws
Clergy, Candy, and Criminal Codes
Depending on where you live, Halloween is either a holiday for spooky fun or a one- way ticket to the wrong side of the law. Surprisingly, certain parts of the country have Halloween-related laws regulating everything from who can wear a mask to whom you’re allowed to make laugh. Here are a few obscure-but-true laws in the South that, if broken, are scarier than any haunted hayride. The Great Mustachioed Priest Menace If you’re a Halloween reveler in Alabama, be careful with your costume choice — God and the law are watching. Dressing up like a priest, rabbi, nun, or other clergy member on Oct. 31 or any other day of the year could cost you a fine of up to $500 or up to a year behind bars. The law was established to show respect to religious institutions by discouraging citizens from impersonating faith leaders. Additionally, Alabama’s focus on maintaining a sense of decorum in religious practices extends to what citizens do in
the presence of actual priests. Naturally, disrupting services by prompting attendees to burst out laughing is bad form, which is why the state prohibits anyone from wearing a fake mustache in church to elicit a chuckle. Was this practice really widespread enough to inspire an actual law? While the law’s historical origins are unclear, it demonstrates the state’s commitment to religious faith and willingness to fine anyone who attempts to mock it. The Decriminalized Children of Dublin Dublin, Georgia, has an odd — and, depending on your age, totally fun — legal perspective concerning facial coverings. Although the city’s rules were loosened temporarily at the height of the COVID-19 pandemic, municipal laws prohibit people from “wearing a mask, hood, or other apparel or regalia in such manner as to conceal [their] identity, or in such manner that [their] face is not fully visible, or
in such manner that [they] may not be recognized.” However, Dublin makes an annual exception for children under the age of 16 who “may be garbed in the usual or customary children’s Halloween costumes.” While parents or older siblings will face a misdemeanor charge if they’re caught wearing a mask while accompanying their little ones trick-or-treating, at least children in Dublin won’t be deemed juvenile criminals for covering their faces while on the hunt for neighborhood candy.
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BRAIN GAMES
STRONG STARTS
Denmark’s Secrets to Raising Happy Kids
APPLES ASTER COFFEE CONSTITUTION FOLIAGE GRANDPARENTS LABOR LUNCHBOX PIRATE SAPPHIRE VIRGO WAFFLES
In a black-and-white world, Danes embrace the gray.
The University of Oxford’s “World Happiness Report” cites Denmark as the second-happiest country behind Finland. Denmark clearly knows a thing or two about fostering a culture that prioritizes contentment and personal well-being. Not surprisingly, the rest of the world often looks to Denmark for inspiration to lead a more positive life. Regarding parenting, Danish citizens have crafted a philosophical and practical approach that could benefit children in countries far from their own. Attitude Determines Attitude First and foremost, Danish parenting is a practice steeped in empathy, caring, communication, and respect. While these core tenets aren’t particularly revolutionary, parent-child relationships in Denmark thrive because of how they apply each. Stringently nonviolent, Danish parenting focuses on the inherent goodness in all children and encourages independence, optimism, and honesty. For example, parents eschew “helicopter parenting” to allow their children to engage in playtime and other activities with as little intervention as possible. Practitioners believe granting their little ones this high level of freedom enables them to develop greater self-esteem and leadership skills than if they constantly dictate their actions and give strict directions. Additionally, Danish parenting stresses the importance of validating a child’s emotions instead of telling them how to feel. This ongoing encouragement to embrace and examine feelings likely enables Danish children to develop stronger self-trust and a clearer perception of the world around them. Bad Patches and Damaging Praise Naturally, plenty of old-fashioned tough love balances the openness apparent in Danish parenting. Parents rarely shy away from addressing negative events, feelings, and circumstances head-on with their children. Suppose a Danish parent is having a rough day or is upset about unexpected bad news. In that case, they’re more likely to explain to their children why their disposition is darker than usual rather than bottling up these thoughts and shielding the little ones from reality. While talking things out is the norm in Denmark, overloading children with compliments is considered bad form. For example, studies suggest that constantly praising a child’s intelligence harms their self-worth when they encounter mentally challenging tasks later in life. Instead of working through these obstacles, they’re more likely to give up in frustration. To that end, Danish parents emphasize effort over accomplishment , helping children gain greater confidence in overcoming hurdles.
APPLE UPSIDE- DOWN CAKE
Inspired by IHeartEating.com
Ingredients
• 1 1/2 tsp baking powder • 1/2 tsp ground cinnamon • 1/4 tsp salt • 3/4 cup milk • 1/4 cup unsalted butter, melted • 1 tsp vanilla extract • 1 large egg
Topping • 1/4 cup unsalted butter • 1/2 cup light brown sugar • 3 Honeycrisp apples Cake • 1 1/4 cups all-purpose flour • 1/2 cup granulated sugar
Directions 1. Preheat oven to 350 F. 2. In a 9-inch round cake pan, add butter for topping. Place in oven for a few minutes until melted. 3. Sprinkle brown sugar over melted butter. 4. Cut apples into half circles about 1/4-inch thick (no need to peel) and arrange them in circles, overlapping slightly until they fill the entire pan. Set aside. 5. In a large bowl, whisk together flour, sugar, baking powder, ground cinnamon, and salt. 6. Add milk, melted butter, vanilla, and egg. Whisk until combined. 7. Pour batter over apple slices, smoothing as needed. 8. Bake for 30–35 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean. 9. Let cool to room temperature, invert on a plate, and serve.
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INSIDE THIS ISSUE
Retro, Real, and Weirdly Free: Logging Onto MySpace in 2025
1
History’s Forgotten Music Machine
2
Pulpits and Pumpkins
Apple Upside-Down Cake
3
Danish Parenting Demystified
Lyrics and Litigation
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HALFTIME HEAT Hype, Hits, and a High-Stakes Lawsuit
“I wanna make a move. I wanna play their favorite song, but you know they love to sue.” These were the words rap superstar Kendrick Lamar used during his halftime performance at this year’s Super Bowl to introduce his song “Not Like Us.” Although he may have intended it to be a joke, his words proved prophetic. Of course, the “they” referenced in Lamar’s intro was fellow rapper Drake, with whom he’d been engaged in a high-profile feud resulting in “diss tracks” and fiery public statements. Although rap battles are nothing new — the late 1990s murders of the Notorious B.I.G. and Tupac Shakur are widely rumored to have been linked to their public conflict — the Lamar/Drake schism reached epic proportions during the February sporting event, playing out in front of a global audience of more than 130 million. Most incendiary of all, “Not Like Us” features lyrics suggesting that Drake — who has sold more than 500 million units in his musical career — has a sexual interest in minors.
Recordings, which, interestingly, also oversees the plaintiff’s music catalog. In an amended complaint filed shortly after the Super Bowl, Drake alleges that Lamar “duped” the audience into believing he had immoral proclivities. “It was the first, and will hopefully be the last, Super Bowl halftime show orchestrated to assassinate the character of another artist,” the suit adds. Faced with a major lawsuit filed by one of its artists, UMG quickly issued a public statement, voicing dismay over Drake’s legal maneuverings in recent months. “Drake, unquestionably one of the world’s most accomplished artists and with whom we’ve enjoyed a 16-year successful relationship, is being misled by his legal representatives into taking one absurd legal step after another.”
While the ultimate conclusion of Drake’s latest move in his longstanding feud with his musical arch nemesis was unknown at the time of this writing, what is clear is that combining a bruised ego with big money often leads to interesting times for the legal world.
Lamar’s performance of the track exacerbated an already contentious defamation suit Drake filed in January against Lamar’s record label, UMG
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