by Paul Boyles, Pastor, Christ Community Church Canofa Park, Calif.
MONEY FOR YOUR TREASURY OVER 2,000,000 SUNFLOWER DISH CLOTHS
theChristian home
Were sold in 1958 by members of Societies, Clubs, Groups, etc. They enable you to earn money for your treasury, arvd make friends for your organization. Samples FREE to Officials SANGAMON MILLS Established 1915 Cohoes, N.Y.
SC&fe dtyctcCxen
HO. 9-5883
HO. 9-5883
A m e r ic a knows that her domestic scene is confused and complex. problems, especially where children are involved. Often a single parent is faced with the full responsibility of rearing the children. In other in stances, re-marriage faces not only its own adjustments, but also those in volving a step parent and child. Frequently couples seek help in coping w i t h re-marriage problems complicated by the presence of chil dren incurred in former marriages. It is not unusual to have the step children themselves seek aid. A be wildered young couple recently con cluded a series of pre-marital inter views in my office. They were prod ucts of a home where the bride’s real father and the groom’s real mother had recently married. The plot thick ened when we discovered that the two other parents had each taken new mates. The young couple’s anti cipation of their own wedding was substantially clouded by the prospect of awkward tensions due to having six “parents” involved! It is easy to deplore these situations by insisting that they are “signs of the times” and “the wages of sin.” No doubt they are. After all our moralizations have been made, per haps we should remember that it is also our responsibility to provide con structive programs of help for fam ilies struggling with these problems. Thoughtful care will need to be exercised by both adults not to speak disparagingly of the absent parent in the presence of the child. Every child needs to believe that the absent parent loves him deeply and that such a parent is a fine person. Step parents should not attempt to sub stitute themselves for the absent na tural parent, nor resent the affection the child has for that parent. The re lationship between the step parent and child should be built upon mu tual respect, and the natural parent should insist upon this respect from the child. In matters of discipline, the step child needs to learn obedience to both the step parent and the natural par ent. Lest normal resentments be come even deeper, it is best for the step parent to control the child through the natural parent. Where
marital communication is good, gen eral policies for governing the home and specific wishes will be discussed privately and enforced, when possi ble, through the real parent. Differ ences of opinion concerning the child’s behavior and upbringing must always be discussed in private. The child must be kept from feeling that he is the cause or the contributing fac tor to failure in this marriage. Such knowledge may fill him with guilt or with glee. In either case it will be destructive to him. The love of the step child cannot be forced. The child must be granted the privilege of setting his own pace towards affection for the step parent. The adult must evidence sincere in terest, warmth, and patience. Great demonstrations of affection w i l l smother the child unless he has indi cated genuine acceptance and ap proval of the step parent. If the child maintains normal love and affection for the absent parent, then the step parent and natural parent will need to be considerate and cautious in their own displays of affection one to another in his presence. Loyalty and fair-play are great principles to a child. All children need a degree of pri vacy. Step children are often in greater need of privacy. This right must be respected by the step par ent. Time, permissiveness, trust, and privacy are necessary ingredients to a climate in which a step child can make his crucial adjustments. Subjective a t t i t u d e s , so fre quently a factor in the original mar riage problem of the adults, may enter the new picture, causing sus picion, over-sensitiveness, fear, jeal ousy, and distrust. When all of these emotions are combined, tangent prob lems emerge. To stablize these possi bilities, we strongly recommend that the family learn to love and trust the Lord Jesus Christ. Only through Him can abiding, unselfish, thoughtful, considerate, and understanding love be achieved. Such capacity is not ours by natural birth. We need a new heart, capable of absorbing and shar ing the very nature of God. We need to seek the fellowship and love of a Christ centered church. We need to accept the help of an understanding minister. Let Christ become the Head of your marriage and your home.
(fêabu it
on CLEANERS
The broken home has created many
ORIENTAL RUG
Largest in the West 545 N. Western Ave., Los Angeles, Calif. 11742 Ventura Bird., Studio City, Calif. POplar 6-2479 HONGKONG
The Door to 25,000,000 Chinese outside the Mainland The Colony that has the largest dis placed personnel with the greatest amount of suffering per square mile in the world The Bible Institute of Los Angeles in o great ministry EVANGELISM — Services in three dif ferent centers. M ED ICAL — A doctor and nursing staff treating over 1,500 a month. BOOK ROOM — Downtown distribution point for Bibles and literature, Chinese and English. SCHOOLS — Christian education for 1,300 underprivileged children. NURSERY — Tiny tots of refugee par ents seeking love and home and work. Doily program caring for health, meals and instruction. Gospel antidote to communist propaganda. In operation early 1960. For complete information and gifts write: The Bible Institute of Los Angeles, Inc.
Hongkong Department 558 South Hope Street Los Angeles 17, California
34
THE KING'S BUSINESS
Made with FlippingBook HTML5