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The Bledsoe Firm JustFamilyLaw.com | 949.363.5551 JANUARY | 2026
OPPOSITE DAY EDITION PIECES OF BACKWARD LEGAL ADVICE I’D NEVER RECOMMEND
Jan. 25 is officially Opposite Day, a perfect excuse to flip the script, turn logic on its head, and laugh at the things we’d never actually do. And if there’s any field where Opposite Day thinking shows up far too often, it’s family and divorce law. Clients come armed with wild myths, half-remembered stories from friends, and “legal advice” pulled from the depths of the internet. So, in the spirit of this topsy-turvy holiday, here’s a tour through the absolute worst, most backward, completely upside-down guidance, the kind of advice I’d never give to my clients in any divorce or custody case. THE SOCIAL MEDIA DISASTER: ‘POST ANYTHING YOU WANT!’ The idea that social media is a harmless space during a divorce or custody case is one of the most persistent and dangerous myths out there. I would never tell a client that their posts don’t matter. In the real world, screenshots live forever, and even the most innocent update can be twisted into something it was never meant to be. THE COURT-ORDER MYTH: ‘IGNORE ANYTHING YOU DON’T LIKE.’ One of the worst pieces of fake advice I would never give is the notion that court orders are optional. In every state, disregarding an order can seriously damage your case and credibility. But if it were Opposite Day, maybe you could treat orders like suggestions. Unfortunately, judges don’t celebrate Opposite Day in the courtroom. THE ‘MY COUSIN’S FRIEND’ TRAP: ‘EXPECT THE SAME OUTCOME!’ People love to share stories about someone they once knew who got full custody automatically or
walked away from a divorce unscathed. The Opposite Day version
of legal advice says you should expect
exactly the same result. But real-life family law doesn’t work like a viral story. I would never tell a client that someone else’s outcome predicts theirs. Every case is unique, and the “best interests of the child” look different in every family.
THE FINANCIAL FANTASY: ‘JUST HIDE YOUR ASSETS!’
Hiding assets is one of the fastest, most catastrophic ways to damage a divorce case. It’s illegal, unethical, and easily discovered. I would never advise secrecy about finances. Every state requires honest disclosure, and courts take financial transparency seriously. THE CO-PARENTING CATASTROPHE: ‘TRASH YOUR EX CONSTANTLY.’ In Opposite Day logic, venting about your co-parent might make you look passionate and dedicated. But in real life, tearing down the other parent usually backfires. Courts look closely at each parent’s ability to support the child’s relationship with the other when it’s safe to do so. I would never encourage hostility as a strategy. It doesn’t help your case, and it definitely doesn’t help your child. Jan. 25 may be Opposite Day, but when it comes to divorce and custody cases, the best way to celebrate is by recognizing how ridiculous true “opposite” advice really is. These myths, shortcuts, and backward ideas are exactly the kind of guidance I would never give to any client, under any circumstances.
Because while Opposite Day is silly conjecture, your family’s future is not.
—John Bledsoe
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IS THIS NORMAL?
HOW TO SPOT EMOTIONAL ABUSE IN A RELATIONSHIP
Emotional abuse rarely begins with fireworks. It doesn’t always look dramatic or explosive, and that’s exactly why it can be so difficult to recognize. More often, it sneaks in through subtle comments, shifting boundaries, or moments that leave you second-guessing yourself. That
question alone can be a sign worth paying attention to if you’ve ever caught yourself wondering, “Is this normal? ” CONSTANT CRITICISM Every relationship has disagreements, but emotional abuse crosses the line into repeated belittling. This might show up as mocking your interests, dismissing your goals, or making you feel “not good enough.” Over time, this constant erosion of self-worth can lead to self-doubt and a shrinking of your personality as you attempt to avoid conflict. GASLIGHTING Gaslighting is a serious tactic. An emotionally abusive partner may deny things you remember clearly, twist events, or claim you’re “too sensitive” whenever you express hurt. The goal is to keep you off balance, unsure of your own judgment, and dependent on their version of the truth. ISOLATION FROM FRIENDS AND FAMILY Another sign of emotional abuse is isolation, and it often starts subtly. Maybe they complain about
your friends, make you feel guilty for seeing family, or pout when you make independent plans. Over time, you may notice your world getting smaller, not because you want it to, but because it keeps the peace. Abusers know that controlling your support system makes it easier to control you. CONTROL DISGUISED AS ‘CONCERN’ Some emotionally abusive behaviors arrive dressed as caring gestures. They might insist they “just worry” when they demand to know where you are at all times. They might “help” by managing your money, monitoring your messages, or influencing your day-to-day choices. What begins as attentiveness can easily turn into restriction and surveillance. THE PUSH-PULL CYCLE Many victims describe the emotional whiplash: One moment, your partner is cold, dismissive, or silent; the next, they’re apologizing or acting affectionate. This hot-and-cold pattern keeps you hoping for the good moments and walking on eggshells during the bad ones. It’s confusing and, unfortunately, intentional.
SOLE SEARCHING IS WALKING BAREFOOT A STEP TOWARD WELLNESS OR TOE TROUBLE?
Many people say something special happens when you feel the sand or grass on your bare feet, but is walking shoeless really a step in the right direction for your health, or just a toe trend? Walking barefoot has been touted for its wellness benefits, helping with everything from improved posture to a greater sense of calm. But hot sidewalks, the potential for infections,
good for your mood to walk barefoot in nature, especially on grass or sand. It can create a grounding effect that reduces stress and can lead to better sleep.
TOE TROUBLES
Shoes protect your tootsies from sharp objects, grime, and harmful bacteria, so when you ditch your boots, you risk cuts, infections, and bruising. Not all pathways are created equal, and if you walk on hot surfaces, slippery ground, or poky pebbles, you could get burns, blisters, or even frostbite. It can also be hard on your body. Most of us have been wearing footwear our entire lives, and unsupported movement can change how weight hits our feet. It can cause aches and pains and add additional pressure on your paws. If you are going to take the plunge and kick off your shoes, start with short bursts on soft, clean ground. Heed your heels, and if you feel any pain or irritation, slip your sneakers back on.
and achy heels could all be unwanted side effects of your sandal-free stroll. Before you kick it au naturel , here’s what you need to know about this grounded gait. WALK FOR WELLNESS Walking barefoot can help strengthen your muscles because it forces your feet to work overtime. Shoes tend to limit your natural movement, so going sans sneakers is like a workout for your feet. It can also enhance your balance and coordination, decreasing your fall risk. You’re setting yourself up for better posture when you stroll without shoes, too. Ill-fitting footwear can lead to misalignments and strain your knees, hips, and back. Beyond the physical pluses, evidence shows it’s
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W ord S earch
A PARENT’S GUIDE TO STAYING CALM AND CONFIDENT Facing false accusations in a custody case can be overwhelming and frightening, leaving you feeling helpless and uncertain. Yet, with the right approach, it’s possible to protect yourself, safeguard your child’s well-being, and navigate the process with integrity and confidence. STAY CALM AND COMPOSED. It’s important not to panic. Reacting with anger or frustration may inadvertently reinforce the false claims. Judges and custody evaluators are looking for stability and maturity. By staying calm, you show that you can handle difficult situations responsibly, a key factor in custody decisions. BE SURE TO DOCUMENT EVERYTHING. Every interaction matters. Keep emails, texts, voicemails, and notes organized and secure. Detailed records can be invaluable when disproving false claims. This is a great way to defend yourself and demonstrate your attentiveness and responsibility as a parent. SEEK PROFESSIONAL GUIDANCE. Call us right away. We can help you navigate allegations, gather evidence, and present your case effectively. If needed, a mental health professional can provide evaluations or testimony to show your commitment to your child’s well-being. AVOID NEGATIVE TALK. It’s tempting to defend yourself publicly or criticize the other parent, but courts often see this as a red flag. Instead, focus on showing your positive qualities: reliability, patience, and dedication to your child. Your consistent actions, such as attending school events, following schedules, and prioritizing your child, speak louder than words. BUILD A SUPPORT NETWORK. False accusations can be emotionally isolating. Friends, family, and support groups can provide perspective, encouragement, and a safe space to vent. Emotional support helps you stay grounded and resilient throughout the process. KEEP THE CHILD’S BEST INTERESTS FIRST. Ultimately, custody decisions are about what’s best for your child. By prioritizing their well-being in every action, you strengthen your position and demonstrate integrity. Patience, careful documentation, professional guidance, and emotional resilience are your tools for navigating this difficult challenge. Navigating False Accusations in a Custody Case
Boots Candles Carnation Furnace Garnet Hockey Insulate Janus Opposite Resolution
Skating Sweater
Slow Cooker Birria Tacos
This delicious dish will help make your home the go-to destination for Taco Tuesday!
INGREDIENTS
• • • • • • • • •
3 dried guajillo chiles 2 dried ancho chiles
• • • • • •
2 tsp ground cumin
2 bay leaves
1 medium onion, chopped
1 tsp salt
4 garlic cloves
Pepper, to taste
1 (14.5-oz) can diced tomatoes
Corn tortillas
3 lbs beef chuck roast
Fresh cilantro and diced onion for garnish
2 cups beef broth
2 tbsp apple cider vinegar
1 tbsp dried oregano
DIRECTIONS
1. Soak dried chiles in hot water for 15 minutes. 2. Process chiles, onion, garlic, and tomatoes in a blender until smooth. 3. Place beef in a slow cooker and pour the chili mixture over it. 4. Add beef broth, vinegar, oregano, cumin, bay leaves, salt, and pepper. 5. Cook on low for 8–10 hours or until the beef is tender. 6. Shred the beef using forks, then mix back into the sauce. 7. Fry tortillas in oil until crispy, then assemble tacos as desired.
Inspired by SimpleWhisk.com
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Inside
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Opposite Day Guide to Divorce
Subtle Signs You Might Be Experiencing Emotional Abuse
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The Joys and Jolts of Sneaker-Free Strolls
Winning Strategies Against False Custody Allegations
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Slow Cooker Birria Tacos
Turn Cold Nights Into Warm Memories
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Make Winter Bonfires Your New Tradition Don’t Let the Fire Die
PROVIDE TOASTY TREATS. Sometimes, clothes alone are not enough to protect us from winter’s chill. During these moments, it can help to eat or drink something that fills your whole body with warmth. Thankfully, you’ll have a bonfire to help you toast and warm some delicious treats. S’mores are usually the go-to, but you can also warm up hot dogs, sausages, or even corn on the cob. And don’t forget the drinks! Hot chocolate, warm apple cider, or even tea can help everyone stay comfortable and in good spirits. ADD GAMES OR FUN ACTIVITIES. Some may grow bored with traditional bonfire activities, which is why you should have an extra activity or game up your sleeve. Depending on the lighting, you could play a card or board game. If the lighting is too dim, you can incorporate other activities requiring more movement and adventure. Kids and adults alike will have fun playing a game of flashlight tag or participating in a scavenger hunt. Plus, the extra movement will help everyone stay warm!
Many Americans invite their friends and family for a bonfire throughout the summer and fall. Nothing beats making s’mores, sharing stories, and enjoying the flickering flame under the moonlight. As temperatures drop and winter weather appears on the radar, some cover and ignore their bonfire area until after the cold and rainy seasons. However, you can still create an awe-inspiring bonfire during winter if you put together a plan. Winter bonfires can quickly become a regular part of your seasonal traditions, and these strategies will help ensure your bonfire is a hit with everyone who attends. HELP PEOPLE STAY WARM. Nobody wants to sit outside in the dark and freezing cold. Encourage everyone attending to dress in warm clothes appropriate for the frigid temperatures, but be prepared to help out if someone starts to feel chilly. Have extra blankets and coats within reach so you can easily pass them to anyone in need.
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