The Christian Home By Rev. Paul Bayles Pastor, Centinela Bible Church Hawthorne, California
FREE iVBS Guidebook I 36 pages
1 A valuable bookwhich shows you how to have a successful, spiritually worth-while Vacation BibleSchool.36pagesofpractical guidance for teachers, directors, VBS workers. • How to plan and prepare for a suc cessful VBS • How to build attendance through clever new publicity ideas . . . 188 items to spark new interest •How to make your opening worship sessions really count •How to put on a challenging closing program •How to carry VBS enthusiasm over into your Sunday School •How to choose the right course for your school Also gives youa previewofthetimely, true-to-the-Bible course—"LIVING FOR JESUS INTHE SPACE AGE" featuring new kit-packaged hand craft projects.GetyourFREEcopy now from your local Christian bookstore or Scripture Press. SCRIPTURE PRESS 1825 College Avenue Wheaton, III! iSI O YES we would like without cost or obligation FREE copy of the 36-page VBS Guidebook. □ Send special $3.15 Introductory Packet (add 45c postage). i i ■ i i i i i I □ Money enclosed $3.60 □ Bill Church Ì Name_______ I Address___ ■City--------- I Church_____ ! KBS-49
(^ (M / ii e d c e d women. Wives more often feel that other women are a threat to their marriage than do husbands feel about other men. This is partly confirmed through Terman’s studies, in which he gives a table of grievances of hus bands and wives in rank order of seriousness. W i v e s c o n s i d e r e d the threat of a third party to be 20% more serious than did husbands. Therefore, women are more particu lar about marital courtesies. They keep up their personal appearance more carefully than do men. Hus bands typically say, “ She loves me the way I am.” They ought to go a step further and say, “ She will love me more if I improve.” Christian couples have the advan tage of being able to trust each other and to build their homes on the vital element of love. However, truth is usually a two-edged sword. The very fact that Christians believe in mar riage “ until death do us part,” tends to create apathy in the relationship. This basic trust is not supposed to take the spark out of love, but rather to give it security. Christianity also teaches that couples are to keep their love alive. Christian couples are no more in vulnerable to attractions from others, than they are from any other tempta tion. A denial of this “ attraction” is romantic unrealism. This must be handled like any other temptation. Jesus said, “ deny yourself,” but not to deny the reality of these temptations. Spirituality is not dishonest. Taking marriage for granted is only inviting trouble. Marriage must be more than just two adults living under the same roof. Courtesies, com munication, chivalry, understanding, and spiritual dimensions are essential. If mother’s hands were for hire To bake a cake, to light a fire, To cut and paste gay valentines, To pack a picnic to the pines; To bandage well a skinned knee, To hang a rope swing from a tree, To patch a tattered, wind-torn kite And tuck the covers in at night. If mother’s hands were for hire, To bake a cake or light a fire, Why a millionaire she’d be, Yet every day she gives them free.
Rev. Bayles I n t e r e s t in g l y enough, the words “ courtesy” and “ courtship” have a great deal in common. They both come from the basic idea of the man ners and conduct qualifying for the king’s court. Most pre-marriage court ships are characterized by somewhat exaggerated and idealistic courtesies. In an effort to discover how many of these courtship courtesies should survive in marriage, I conducted the following survey. Two groups of mar ried couples were asked to list all the courtesies which they felt were impor tant enough to continue through mar riage. The first group consisted of couples married four years and less. These husbands and wives listed many courtesies — and about equally. The second group represented couples mar ried five years and more. The wives of this group indicated their feelings quite readily. However, only one out of three husbands of this group re turned their questionnaires. Their c o m b i n e d a n s we r s amounted to, “ Bring home the pay check!” You may ask, “What does this sur vey prove?” It “ proves” nothing. It may, however, indicate several things. Perhaps the most obvious is the fact that the longer married couples live together, th e m o r e c a r e l e s s and thoughtless they become. Yet this is only partly true. The longer they live together, the more enjoyment there is in the relaxed contentment of quiet understanding i— without having to make an effort to enjoy life, which is so typical of youth. For these older couples, marital courtesies may have become so much a part of their lives that they could not isolate and define them on paper. To the younger couples, these courtesies were sincere, but external. There is the danger of older couples trying desperately to recapture the intoxication of early romance, by comparing themselves with youthful couples. This is vain and useless. Build on what you have now and forget what you may have had. Another possible conclusion might be that since it was the older married men who could not imagine a marital courtesy or remember their courting days, that men the more easily take their love for granted. Most men feel more secure in their marriage than do
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THE KING'S BUSINESS
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