lost a loved one can be difficult but is important to experience. Some people find sorrow too difficult and turn to alcohol or drugs to ease the pain. Unfortunately, there is no easy fix to make the loss easier to deal with. Alcohol and drugs may make you feel better immediately by allowing you to forget about the situation, however ultimately they will cause more problems. Alcohol and drugs are likely to make the situation more difficult to cope with, because both will contribute to irrational thoughts and de- pressed moods. They can also get you in trouble as both are illegal for anyone under 21. Turning to destructive behaviors won’t stop you from griev- ing, and may actually make it worse. Healing Some people think a person grieves a death and then is “over it.” Grief doesn’t work that way; it’s not wrapped in a neat little package. Some well- meaning friends may encourage you to “move on.” Many people don’t feel comfortable talk- ing about death or grief, or perhaps they don’t want to see you feeling sad anymore. It’s okay to grieve in your own time and in your own way, despite what others want for you. Often friends or family just don’t and can’t understand how long grief can and will affect someone. When you are able to acknowledge that the person you love is gone, you can begin to heal. This is difficult to do. You may still have feel- ings of loneliness, sadness, or anger, but you also continue to participate in the activities you once enjoyed. Getting involved in those normal activities and enjoying them doesn’t mean that you are forgetting about your loved one or that you no longer miss that person. Staying sad for long periods doesn’t measure the love you have
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