W. Robert Smith
PARENTAL IMMATURITY
I t is A p r o v e n fact that most of our family difficulties are because of immaturity on the part of father, mother, or both. If you want your child to have the right kind of values, you must manifest appreciation and approval of the proper values he has. It will not help to be a perfectionist. Some parents manifest to their chil dren that they are more concerned about their personal prestige rather than what their offspring achieve. Even those of us who are devout fol lowers of Christ sometimes make this grave error. We are afraid of what people might think rather than being conscious of our own family needs. How terrible is this sin of pride. It is sad that we do not permit the child to achieve. A parent, usually a mother, will “cluck” over the young one, doing everything for it and not letting him stand on his own feet. I know of a woman whose husband is an alcoholic. In psychological counsel ing it appeared to bring her some morbid satisfaction which she wasn’t willing to admit. Since she had never received love as a child, it allowed her to bestow it upon him during his tragic moments of drinking. He never had the opportunity of standing on his own feet. So, what we are saying can also be true on the adult level. A child needs a sense of achievement and if he doesn’t get it something goes out of his life. Another cultural need is prestige. This is better summarized in the word, recognition. Of course we need to keep this within the bounds of normalcy. Too many people are overly enamoured with this which can become pride. As an example, college education is an achievement. If a boy took all the necessary hours and failed in one re quirement so that he could not get his degree, he would have all the achieve ments and yet miss the prestige. It would have a real effect on him. Every
one wants to be satisfied that he has a part in making a contribution to his fellowman. In the Christian life this is additionally significant. Again, there must be honesty with ourselves. To be mature one must be genuinely interested in others. He needs to see himself as others do. Many of us will not be realistic. We should ask the Holy Spirit to show us our weaknesses. We do not admit that we are wrong for it does not en hance the picture we like to carry of ourselves. Which of us hasn’t been sensitive to criticism? This may be due to the fact that we have not had the right amount of approval as a little child. We don’t like to admit our errors. We easily become irritated. If we are wrong, we ought to be ready to admit this first of all to ourselves in all honesty. You can never grow in God’s grace until you see yourself for what you really are. A woman in a certain Bible class was shocked (she was a new Chris- Biola student Dennis Plies of Garden Grove, Cali fornia, not only is an accomplished musician on the marimba, but also an excellent musician at the organ. Here ho is preparing a special number at the console ol the Lansing memorial pipe organ, the beautiful instrument which is such a vital part of the now Recital Hall on the Campus.
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