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The Bledsoe Firm JustFamilyLaw.com | 949.363.5551 NOVEMBER | 2022
ENCOURAGE GRATITUDE
IN YOURSELF AND YOUR CHILDREN
Thanksgiving is an exciting time when you can gather with your loved ones and enjoy a day full of great company, delicious food, and some football. One of my favorite Thanksgiving traditions is when we go around the table, and everyone shares what they’re thankful for that year. It’s a time to show appreciation and gratitude for the many blessings in our lives. Brainstorming what we’re grateful for can sometimes be difficult, especially for children. Many people only think about gratitude when Thanksgiving rolls around, but it’s worth thinking about year-round. Being thankful is a great character trait our children can develop and will benefit them throughout their lives. Those who show gratitude through their actions and words are not born with the quality; they learn it as they grow. You can even learn to be more grateful as an adult. Here are a few ways to learn to be more thankful daily. Take the 21-Day Gratitude Challenge. There’s a popular theory that it takes 21 days to build a habit, so why not make a dedicated effort to focus on the things you and your family are grateful for over three weeks? Each day, come up with a prompt to get yourself and your kids thinking about things you appreciate in life. The prompts can be as simple as “a place you love to visit” or “someone who always makes you laugh.” Focusing on specific people, places, and things will help your children to be specific. They’ll recognize the special places in their lives and the people who make them feel
a certain way. Before the end of the 21 days, you may even notice them showing appreciation and gratitude without being prompted.
Volunteer in the community. One of the best ways to foster gratitude in your children is by volunteering at various charitable organizations. Your kids likely do not even realize how lucky they are in their lives. Volunteering with your children at a
soup kitchen, a homeless shelter, or with your religious organization will give them firsthand experience with those less fortunate than them. They’ll soon understand how much they have and will appreciate and be grateful for it. Start a gratitude journal or jar. Once your children fully understand gratitude, it’s time to break out the gratitude journal or jar. Encourage your children to write in their gratitude journals every morning and every night. In the journal, they should identify the things they were most grateful for that day and the good things that have happened to them recently. If you opt for a gratitude jar, have them write about things they’re grateful for and drop them into the jar daily. Try to get the whole family to participate in these activities. Then, at the end of each week, you can share what you wrote in your journals or go through the gratitude jar, and everyone can share why they were grateful for the things they put in the jar. Remember, your kids will look to you as their role models. If you don’t take this activity seriously, neither will they. Encouraging your children to adopt a grateful mindset will allow them to live a much happier and healthier life. They’ll have an easier time getting through difficult situations because they’ll be able to still find things to appreciate. —John Bledsoe
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HELP YOUR TEEN FIND THEIR PASSION
With These 3 Ideas
If you’re a parent of a high school student, you’ve probably thought about their future. Over the next few years, they are going to make some very important decisions, and as their parent, you want everything to go as smoothly as possible. Whether your child is planning to go to college, attend trade school, enter the workforce, or take some other path, you hope they eventually find a fulfilling career. If they choose college, then you know it will be expensive. And, according to the National Center for Education Statistics, 80% of college students change their major at some point in their college career, which can make it even more expensive. Helping your child cultivate their passion early may help them to be more focused on a single major if they choose to attend college. Here are three things you can do to help them make the best decisions about which path to take in college, or in whatever option they choose. Encourage them to try various activities. Your child may never discover their true passion if they aren’t exposed to a variety of activities. This should start at a young age and continue as
they get older. Encourage your child to join different clubs at their school, volunteer at charitable organizations, learn music, and play sports. By trying many different activities, they may find one that aligns with their interests, which could point them toward a fulfilling career. Introduce your child to a wide variety of people. Have your child meet with friends and family with varying backgrounds and careers. Encourage conversations about what led them to their career and what they enjoy about it. When you find an individual whose career or background interests your child, that person could become a mentor and guide them down the right path. Help them get some work experience. If your child already thinks they know what they want to do in life, help them find a job in that field. It could be a part-time job or just volunteer work, but seeing how the profession operates firsthand will provide them with valuable information. They could decide the career they were considering is not for them and pursue other interests instead.
SPLITTING THE HOLIDAYS DURING A DIVORCE
Ideally, parents draw up a parenting and custody arrangement to ensure their child’s right to continuous and frequent contact with both parents after splitting up. This can take various forms, but all days of the year are not equal in significance or importance to families. How birthdays, holidays, religious occasions, and other special days are shared must be equitable when drawing up an arrangement during a divorce in California.
• If it is your turn for a given holiday, consider facilitating a phone call to the other parent who is not with the child, especially on important days such as Christmas and birthdays. • If your child is school-aged, get a complete copy of their school schedule, including the exact dates of holiday breaks. You must have this information before making an arrangement. • Even if your relationship with your child’s other parent is strained, you support your children’s development and emotional well-being when you encourage positive holiday experiences with your former partner and their family.
As we approach the holiday season, divorced parents should consider the following scenarios so both parents get equal time with their children.
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If you do not have a holiday parenting arrangement or your arrangement needs some help, consult with your attorney as soon as possible. If circumstances allow, your children should experience holidays with both parents, developing traditions with both sides, including the extended families.
The holidays are a special time for parents and their children. Make memories that will last a lifetime — with both families — by establishing a proper parenting and custody arrangement. If you’re going through a divorce or a child custody case, have a certified family law specialist by your side. Give us a call today if you need representation.
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Try to be flexible, especially when long-distance travel is involved in holiday plans.
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W ord S earch Casserole Election Gratitude Harvest Raking Remembrance Saints Squash Thanksgiving Topaz Turkey Veteran
During a Child Custody Case 4 COMMON MISTAKES PARENTS MAKE During a California child custody case, you must make mindful, strategic decisions to achieve your desired outcome. However, the structure and stressful nature of these family law cases don’t always make it easy to navigate the right path. Here are four mistakes parents often make during a child custody case. Making the Case About Your Ex Instead of Your Child A California child custody case is always about your minor child or children. When determining custody, deciding visitation, and allocating holidays or exceptions, the family court will consider what is in the child's best interest and make a ruling accordingly. What’s in your child's best interest might involve discussions and conversations about your ex-spouse or partner, but centering the case on past marital problems, indiscretions, and disputes between the adults is never a winning argument. Keep the focus on your kids. Airing Grievances on Social Media Your California family lawyer will likely argue for staying off social media entirely during a divorce, separation, or California child custody case. However, suppose you aren’t willing to completely sign off and shut down your accounts. In that case, you must refrain from sharing information about your California child custody case or bashing your ex. Use of social media to share personal stories or smear your former spouse’s reputation frequently backfires. Refusing to Compromise or Cooperate Making room for compromise in all aspects of a divorce or separation is vital. It is an inherent part of reaching a settlement and receiving a divorce decree from the family court. The outcome of a California child custody case is no different. You will need to find some common ground with your ex to reach a conclusion. Trying to Out-Talk Your Child The loudest voice in any California child custody case should be your child’s. This can be tough to accept, as we often think parents are the best advocates for their kids. However, in these cases, the preferences and happiness of your child are paramount, which could very well mean spending time with both parents.
APPLE CRANBERRY CRISP
INGREDIENTS
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3 cups peeled and chopped tart apples 1 1/2 cups cranberries 3/4 cup packed brown sugar, divided
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1 tbsp lemon juice
1/2 tsp ground cinnamon 1/2 cup all-purpose flour
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1/3 cup butter, cold
Vanilla ice cream (optional)
DIRECTIONS
1. Preheat oven to 375 F. 2. In a large bowl, combine apples, cranberries, 1/4 cup brown sugar, lemon juice, and cinnamon. 3. Grease an 8-inch baking dish and pour the mixture into it. 4. In a small bowl, mix flour and the remaining brown sugar. Cut in cold butter until the mixture is crumbly. Sprinkle this over the fruit. 5. Bake uncovered for 25–30 minutes or until the topping is golden brown and the filling is bubbly. If desired, serve with vanilla ice cream and enjoy!
Inspired by TasteOfHome.com
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Inside
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3 Ways to Become More Grateful
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3 Ideas to Help Your Teen Cultivate Their Passion Splitting the Holidays During a Divorce
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Common Mistakes Parents Make During Child Custody Cases Apple Cranberry Crisp
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5 Signs You’re Doing Too Much Cardio
CARDIO: FRIEND OR FOE? 5 SIGNS YOU’RE OVERDOING IT ON CARDIO
If you love the results you see from your cardio workouts, it’s possible you might want to increase how often you work out. But too much of a good thing can be detrimental, which includes cardio!
which hinders your body’s ability to effectively burn fat and drastically slows weight loss.
forgets how to relax. This means it’s time to slow down — literally!
You’re constantly sore. When you first use a muscle group you haven’t used in a while or change up the exercise or weight, soreness is common. However, when you’re engaging in an activity familiar to your body, especially when it comes to cardio, you shouldn’t become sore as your body adapts. If you’re constantly feeling sore, this is your body’s way of asking for a break! Your heart rate is fast. Your resting heart rate should be slow and relaxed. If you notice it stays high for a period of continuous days, this is a dangerous health concern that occurs when your heart
Your easy days are becoming hard. You’d think the more you do something, the easier it’d get. While this makes sense most of the time, when you overdo it and don’t allow your body enough proper recovery time, you may feel more challenged than usual, even with light cardio. So, how much cardio should you really be aiming for? According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, adults should get 150 minutes of moderate aerobic activity or 75 minutes of vigorous aerobic activity each week. While cardio is pivotal for our health, too much cardio will do more harm than good!
Here are five signs you're doing too much cardio and need to give your routine a breather.
You’re fatigued. Overdoing cardio exercises increases the levels of stress hormones in our bodies and can lead to constantly feeling run down. There’s only so much stress we can place on our muscles and joints before our body lets us know it’s had enough! Your weight loss has plateaued or become sluggish. Excessive cardio can lead to a loss in muscle mass,
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