The Bledsoe Firm - May 2020

The Bledsoe Firm JustFamilyLaw.com | 949.363.5551 MAY | 2020

W ant to F eel M ore P ositive ? You Can Take Control and Make It Happen

“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” –Jim Rohn

is ready to walk out on him. Then he compliments Carol, telling her: “You make me want to be a better man.” Carol then tells Melvin he just gave her best the compliment of her life. Look at the five people you spend most of your time with. Do they make you want to be a better person? Do they inspire

I belong to a group of attorneys from all over the United States who meet once a month and discuss self-improvement and business principles. I usually come away from these meetings invigorated and energized. I have made new friends all over the country. At times we get on the phone and share things we are doing in our businesses. Once or twice a year we get together for a summit in Virginia. I gain so much from these events. These are people who have worked hard to become leaders in their profession. We all share common goals. It is amazing how much inspiration and energy you can gain from being around positive people. Just yesterday we had another meeting on Zoom. One of the discussion leaders brought up the importance of controlling our environment. To illustrate this, he brought up motivational speaker Jim Rohn who famously said, “We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with.” This suggests that the friends and the environment we choose have a profound effect on our attitude and outlook on life. Those with whom we spend time greatly influence us whether we like it or not. Who are the people we listen to? Are they people who make us better? Do they bring out the best in us? I can watch a few movies over and over again. One of them is “As Good as It Gets.” Jack Nicholson plays Melvin Udall, a successful but dysfunctional novelist who has obsessive-compulsive disorder. Carol, a waitress and a single mother, is played by Helen Hunt. Melvin wants Carol to be his girlfriend, but he has failed badly at this. Carol has a hard time being around him. In one scene, they are on a date at a restaurant. Melvin has just clumsily insulted Carol’s dress and she

you to work toward the goals you are striving for? Do they challenge you to be better? If they don’t, then you need to act with intentionality and limit your contact with them. Acting with intentionality means deciding what you want and then choosing to do what is necessary to get it, and that includes removing negative influences. The messages we allow ourselves to be exposed to do have significant effects on our attitude and overall happiness. In this time of being largely limited to our homes, we are certainly spending time with our close family members. And beyond that, we may be spending time talking to friends on the phone or watching the news. I can get caught up in the evening news shows, and then I find myself spending my time with people who argue and bring a lot of negativity. Rarely do I walk away from watching these programs with a more positive attitude or outlook. Our group discussion leaders pointed out that we all have the ability to control our outlook and our attitude. Doing so is incredibly important — even to our physical health. We can act with intentionality and limit our exposure to negative people who bring us down or produce in us feelings we do not want to have. Even with close family members, we can still limit our exposure to them. If a discussion with a family member brings negativity, we can choose to walk away. With more distant relatives and friends, if associating with them does not make us want to be better, we can limit the time we spend with them. We need to cast off the people in our lives who do not make it better.

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