talking it over with Dr. Clyde M. Narramore
Dr. Narramore, graduate of Columbia University, New York City, is a psychologist and Consultant in Research and Guidance with one of the largest school systems in the United States. GETT ING READY FOR M AR R IAG E
Question: / have a problem 1 would like to ask you about. I am a widow with two children and. am planning to marry a very wonderful Christian professional man. M y problem is the difference in our background. H e is a successful city man, but I was raised on a ranch. I do love him very much, but I feel afraid of my inability to fit in. 1 am not a good housekeeper or a real cook. As a matter of fact, I’m not really good at anything. Everything I do is hard—where some people just seem to have a knack. How can I train and discipline my self to be a good w ife for a man like this? He has a lot of confidence in me, and I don’t want to let him down. W e are planning to be married in six months, so I have just that long in which to prepare myself. The children really love him so that’s no problem. Thank you cordially for your help. Answer: Everyone is wise to consider self improvement before marriage. Of course there is much that all of us can do to improve ourselves. I imagine that you are much more capable than you think you are. However, you might consider the following: 1. Continue to improve your art of conversation. Listen carefully to people and encourage them to talk. Focus upon their interests. Learn to be genuinely interested in others. Naturally, this applies to your future husband as well as to all of your friends. 2. Develop an interest in your hus band’s work. Encourage him to talk it over with you; then stand behind him. Since he is a suc cessful man in his profession, he is undoubtedly very much in terested in his work and will appreciate having someone to talk with who is interested in his profession. 3. Concerning etiquette, you might inquire at any library a b o u t
books you will want to read. As an outstanding professional man, he may very well want you to entertain in your home. If so, information from books of eti quette may be very helpful. 4. Many homemakers i m p r o v e themselves by continually trying new recipes. Libraries and book stores h a v e books concerning home decoration and home man agement. There is no reason why you can’t be just as clever as other women. 5. Concerning your husband him self, never cease to build him up. As you may know, men are queer creatures. They like to feel they are important. So compliment your husband and remind him how intelligent he is and how fine he looks. People go through life forming self concepts. In other words, they come to think of themselves in much the same way as other people consider them. You can help your hus band to become a much more significant person as you assign him that role. 6. Concerning personal appearance, a professional man wants a wife of whom he can be proud. She need not be pretty, but she should always be dressed in good taste. All day at the office he sees professional and business women who are well dressed. He should not have td go home each day to a wife who always looks like something the cat’s dragged in. 7. The most important way to im prove is through spiritual means. Real- beauty is more than skin deep. Your husband will come to respect and love you for your fine Christian character. This can only be developed as you devote yourself to reading God’s Word,
setting up times of prayer and witnessing for Christ. May God give you a blessed time of happiness together.
PERFECT HUSBAND
Dear Dr. Narramore: In a recent issue of The King’s Bus iness you asked the readers to list the qualities that make a good husband. I couldn’t resist writing to you. I won’t say that my husband is “per fect,” but I find many wonderful qualities in him. 1. First, he is a Christian and we enjoy the fellowship and unity of prayer together. 2. He is a good companion (we enjoy just being together). .3. He is loyal and faithful to me and to the children. 4. He is a good provider (consider ate of all our needs). 5. He is affectionate. 6. I respect and trust his decisions. He handles the finances and I have no questions as to his capa bility. 7. He enjoys our children, and spends time with them. 8. He is sympathetic and helpful. For example, when I have many things to do on Sunday mornings (cleaning and dressing three lit tle ones) he helps by doing dishes, etc. I could continue with much more. How I praise God for my good hus band. It has been good to stop and con sider these qualities. God is gracious. Sincerely in our Saviour’s Name, Mrs. M. W. Answer: I deeply appreciate your good letter about your husband’s many fine traits. But one thing bothers me: I hope my wife doesn’t read this page. It may give her some ideas of things I should be doing, but am not!
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