but I’ve got a better answer and that is crucifying the old man and facing our selfishness as a sin. You may win a battle by selfishness but it only prolongs hostility and bitterness. Selfishness is the root cause of all marital difficulty. In fact, I defy you to find an area of maladjust ment in marriage that is not selfish. The best way to overcome selfish ness is to face it as a sin. Confess it. I John 1 :9 tells us we gain in stant forgiveness, and I John 5:14- 15 tells us that if we ask God to take it away, He will. Then, ask God to take away the tendency to selfish ness. Finally, repair the damage done by asking forgiveness. Repairing the damage is very important. I remem ber a couple that would never apolo gize to one another. They had a way of communicating their apologies. She would bake him a devil’s food chocolate cake. He always appreci ated the fact that this was her sign of apology. His was a little less ap petizing. He would ask her if she would like to go to the cemetery to visit her mother’s grave. For some reason, she enjoyed the melancholy experience of standing there at her mother’s grave side. How much bet ter if two people would just come up to one another and say, “I am sorry. I goofed. I sinned against God. I sinned against you. Will you for give me?” Then gradually selfishness will he overcome by the Holy Spirit. CHAPTER NINE The second key to wedded bliss is “Submission.” Admittedly this is the key that is pointed directly at one side of the household, that is, the wife’s. The command of God, “Wives, be in subjection to your own hus bands,” is not an obscure teaching in the Word of God. It was the pat tern for godly women in the Old Testament, and you will find that it is the standard of God for the wife today. There are many pas sages I could quote such as I Peter
tee the happiness that no other power in the world can produce. Remember this, the Bible is still God’s manual for human behavior more important than psychiatry, psychology, educa tion, social welfare, social adjust ment, or anything else. Happy is the couple that starts a marriage based on the Word of God. If you have Jesus Christ as the sure foundation for your home, then there is no rea son in the world why you cannot exercise the six keys to wedded bliss. The first key is maturity. What is maturity? Maturity is a spirit of unselfishness, that is not dependent upon age.' Some people very young in life are mature. Some never be come mature. The reason very sim ply is the opposite of maturity which is selfishness. When a child lies down on the floor in a super market, kicks his feet and screams his head off to get his own way, is he acting ma ture? Certainly not. What is the dif ference between the child that does that and the wife that slams the pan drawer, drops the iron on the floor purposely, or throws a dish at her husband angrily; or the husband who “stomps” out of the house, and slams the door so hard that it shakes on the foundation? We are all famil iar with such forms of raw selfish ness. Indulgence of any form of selfish ness produces human misery. The world says “Arguments are inevit able.” One psychiatrist said, “They are inevitable in a marriage and probably offer one of the best ways couples have to work out touchy problems. When most of the frustra tions have been talked out or dis charged in some vicarious way, the fight can be ended. Those marriages that exist without any type of fight ing are generally frozen or inflexi ble marriages in which other aspects of the relationship are compromised in order to maintain the facade of peace and harmony.” That psychia trist may be giving human wisdom 12
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