this passage which I just read in I Corinthians. I said, “Every time you speak to one another, give your speech the kindness check. That is, ask yourself, ‘Was that kind?’ If it isn’t kind, it isn’t love.’’ How many times we cuttingly, sar castically, cruelly knife the person we love. Men, let me tell you some thing about women. The one thing a woman needs more than anything else in the world is kindness. Most psychologists agree that the basic need of man or woman is love and approval. The more we love some one, the more we seek his approval. Since your wife has given herself to you, she desires your approval. Actu ally, what good is it if a woman is a proficient school teacher or a good doctor or a fine stenographer if when GOD'S PLACE Only to rest where He puts me, Only to do His will, Only to be what He made me, she comes home she is a failure as a wife? She may sublimate for a while and get her kicks out of being a career girl, but ultimately, if she is a failure as a wife, she is a fail ure. If you do not let her know that you approve of her and love her, then she is going to feel inadequate. In a vital sense then, it is up to you, isn’t it? You can make her feel se cure and loved. A young couple came in one time, He weighed about 235 pounds, she weighed about 98 pounds, dripping wet. He said in the midst of his counseling, “Pastor LaHaye, never in our marriage have I hit her.” With that he shook that great ham-like fist of his. I looked at that monster and thought that it was a good thing he hadn’t, because he would have 15 Though I be nothing still! Never to look beyond me Out of my little sphere; If I could fill another God would not keep me here.
Henry Drummond wrote a little book entitled, “The Greatest Thing in the World” and in it points out the nine characteristics of love found in that preceding passage. First of all, he cites patience, then kindness, gen erosity, humility, courtesy, unselfish ness, good temper, guilelessness, and sincerity. Study these characteris tics and examine your love to see if you meet these qualifications. Let’s take a good look at two of these characteristics. First of all, husband, are you patient with your wife? That means enduring. That means putting up with things. That means denying yourself and going along with things just because you love your wife. Isn’t it interesting how impatient we get with people we don’t like anyway? How critical we can be of people we don’t like. If someone we love does something wrong, what is our reaction? It is understanding. You make excuses for them in your own mind. If someone we don’t like makes a mistake, we chop them up in our mind. It’s un spiritual, but it’s done. The same is true of our wives. The man who comes home and doesn’t find the house just the way he thinks it should be can act in a very unlovely way. Actually, he is showing his love for himself in so doing. Then there is a second character istic, kindness. I would say that this is one of the primary characteristics. Somehow many of those having trou ble in marriage have forgotten to show kindness. They want to receive it, but do not have it. I remember a couple who had been married only two years. They were actually ready to call it quits even though they sensed that they had just a little bit of love left, but not much. The problem was they were very caustic and sarcastic in their speech toward one another. When this was revealed in counseling, I gave them some as signments to memorize certain por tions of the Bible, one of which was
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