HOW TO BE
3 / \W I in 1
1 y/y n \
THOUOH MARRIED by Tim F. LaHaye, Pastor, Scott Memorial Baptist Church, San Diego, Calif. CHAPTER ONE
gether on the basis of their natural weaknesses. She is weak in assert ing herself, and he is weak in con trolling himself. He enjoys talking. She enjoys listening. So they just seem to hit it off. After a while they get married, unaware that in addi tion to these traits there are certain other, less desirable characteristics. All strengths carry their natural cor responding weakness. The problem is, when you have a strength that corresponds to another p e rson ’s weakness, it’s easy to look down on that person. For example, Mr. San guine will soon get on the nerves of Miss Phlegmatic or Miss Melancholy, because he is very careless. He doesn’t pick up his socks or his shoes. His closet is a mess. He never straightens his drawer. Consequent ly, she gets a little perturbed; be cause her precise, careful, efficient, even perfectionist, tendencies are offended due to his perennial care lessness. He will get annoyed at her fastidiousness. He thinks that it takes her too long to do anything. “It takes her forever to dress” ; “She is always late” ; and on and on and on he complains. This is a conflict on the basis of natural weakness. Mr. Choleric, the hard driving businessman type, will usually be at tracted to the more reticent type. He needs love. He doesn’t seem to be able to give much, for he doesn’t have much to give. He loves work or other forms of producing activity. 3
M arriage is the most sublime ex perience two people can share on this earth. It doesn’t always turn out that way; in fact, last year in America there were 500,000 divorces. Evidently something is wrong with this marvelous institution which God intended to be a great blessing. Many a person has come into my office for counseling, who starts off by saying “What makes people like us get married in the first place?” When asked this question, I usually steer the subject to human tempera ment. I’ve observed a basic rule that opposites attract each other. For some strange reason, I’ve never seen two people with exactly the same temperament who were drawn to gether and married. Mr. Sanguine, the warm, buoyant, effervescent, salesman type is nat urally attracted to the more reticent, phlegmatic or melancholy tempera ment. In his boisterous way he sees this person who never overstates the case, never volunteers too much in formation, doesn’t embarrass her self, and he goes home and thinks, “Why can’t I learn to keep my big mouth shut? Why don’t I give others a chance? Why can’t I be like Miss So and So? In her lovely way she is quite demure.” All of the time she is thinking, “I wish I were more like him. He is so expressive and demon strative. What a wonderful person he is!” These two are drawn to
Made with FlippingBook - professional solution for displaying marketing and sales documents online