sians 4:15 says, “But speaking the truth in love. . . It's important that we not only speak the truth, but also that we do it very lovingly. Pick a relaxed time when you can objectively share your feelings with out getting overly emotional. Never speak in anger! Always allow time for what I call reaction. Then leave the matter to the Holy Spirit. After you have stated your objection one time, then pray about it. Trust God to work in his or her heart. Finally, ask God, the Giver of love, to fill you with love so that you can overlook your differences. For get past mistakes and sins. Bury the hatchet deep when you forgive. Don’t keep the handle up where you can grab it quickly, but forgive and for get. Just because habit takes over and your partner may repeat the practice is no reason that you have to bludgeon him with the statement, “Oh, I knew you would forget! I knew you would do it again!” In stead, be forgiving. We love to be forgiven, don’t we? Then why not forgive “as Christ has forgiven us?” Forgiveness is a necessary part of every marriage! Try it, and let the Holy Spirit enrich your relationship. CHAPTER THREE The adjustment phase of marriage usually lasts anywhere from one to three years. During that period many of the heartaches and joys of marriage are experienced. Unfor tunately, it seems that the divorce statistics reveal that at least 75% of those who divorce do so within the first three years. In the first few years of marriage when tempers seem to be easiest to ignite and when emotions are closest to the surface, many a heartache has been experi enced because of the inability of two human beings to adjust properly to each other. Philippians 2:3 & 4, is the perfect cure for this problem. It states, “Let nothing be done through strife or
vain glory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others.” This is the perfect antidote to selfishness! If you go into marriage with the idea that you are going to get out of it all that you can, you will find that yours will be a miserable marriage. I like to ask couples that come to me for marriage counseling, “Why did you marry in the first place?” Many times one or the other will say, “My home life was so miserable. I just wanted to get away.” Good home life will help young people avoid making a hasty, embittered decision that will later cause great heartache. Selfishness is the ruination of all marriage. If a young man goes into marriage determined to give of him self to his partner, and if the young woman expects to give her all to her partner, then they will be more con scious of their partner’s happiness than their own. The Bible tells us that you reap what you sow. If you sow bitterness, animosity, hostility, resentment, hardness, cruelty, that is what you will reap. I had a Christian woman come into my office one day for counseling. Her husband was a
Rev. TimLaHaye,pastor of the Scott Memorial Baptist Church of San Diego, is featuredthis monthon "The Biola Hour" in a series of messages on the Christian home. Counseling takes about one third of his time and provides inspiration for Bible study,writing, and sermons. He states, "I am convinced thatthe Bible has the answer to every human problem today."
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