and age when you have a working wife and a working husband, it is easy to have two corporations func tioning under the same roof. Just remember, “He that unlocks the purse strings, runs the household.” Selfishness is readily seen in our attitude toward money, but it is also seen in our attitude toward oth er things. Relatives, for one thing! I have often told young couples that one of the best things you can do when you get married is move a thousand miles from either of the relatives for several years so that you can make your mistakes in pri vacy. You are going to make mis takes. Happy is the individual who makes them without the complicated relative problem to resolve after he’s made them. Relatives create conflict without even trying, like, “Where are we going to spend Thanksgiv ing? We spent Thanksgiving last year at your house and Christmas at your house. Now we ought to spend Thanksgiving at my house.” You’ll find that when selfishness rears its head, it finds many expres sions, not only in the family, but also in the friends, appearance, cars, horses, furniture, babies, etc. The greatest heartaches in marriage are caused by human selfishness. God the Holy Spirit is able to cure selfish ness. Are you a selfish person? If so, you are not living with a happily married partner, because selfish peo ple do not produce happily married partners. Think on these things, and let God the Holy Spirit make you an unselfish person. CHAPTER FOUR Every couple that has ever come to me for marriage counseling has had the same problem» ^ selfishness! Their selfishness made it difficult for them to adjust to each other proper ly. Two people cannot adjust proper ly if they only think of themselves. Look, for example, at appearance. I can show you a simple analogy where
leader in their church, and she said, “We need help. We don’t want to go to our minister, because he knows us too well, and we would like to come to you for counseling.” I tried to listen to their story, and the crux of it as I recall was something like this: She and her husband clashed over money. The problem was that she wanted to spend it faster than he made it. She rebuked him because he didn’t make enough. He rebuked her because she spent it too fast. She just couldn’t pass up a bargain even if they couldn’t afford it. Their hos tility had reached such a height that they had gone for as much as eleven days without speaking to each other. I said, “How in the world do you live in the same house?” She said, “We have little ways. I’ll turn at the table to my son and say, ‘Junior, will you ask your father for the salt?’ ” Now isn’t that exciting? What a tes- timony that must be to children, a testimony of how futile it is to be a Christian. When Jesus Christ comes into our life, we learn to be gracious and kind, not selfish. Such an attitude as these folks portrayed certainly does not provide a climate worthy of raising - children to be Christ-like young people. Your selfishness or generosity of ten will be reflected by the way you react to money. Who is it that al ways gets the new clothes? Who is it that gets to do what he wants to? You’ll find that your program for taking care of money is very impor tant. I advise young couples that the husband should handle the money for the first ten or fifteen years of their marriage. My reason for that is sim ply this. The husband should be the head of the house, and in order for him to be the head of the wife, he should handle the money. In this day 6 Godly talk does not always imply a godly walk.
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