PATHWAYS PROFILE
From Hangovers to Hope: How I Became a Mindful Drinker, and You Can, Too
when it stopped working, the rush of pain and regret from reckless be- haviors set in. My relationships were strained, my health was less than optimal. I was not living up to the person I knew I could be. On the outside, I appeared successful. Inside, I was crumbling. The weight of my experience overtook the fantasy perpetuated by alcohol use. Throughout my life, I tried to grapple with the hold alcohol had on me. I was able to stop drinking in the sense that I didn’t wake up with an unquenchable thirst for it, but it always returned as a necessary medicine when the highs or lows became unbearable. It was a tool for me to escape my own thoughts, but it wasn’t the right tool, and when it ceased to work, the results were devastating. From Breakdown to Breakthrough When my son was born, I found myself at a turning point where I could either get help or continue these destructive patterns. One
BY DEREK BROWN
If you had a glass of wine or a cocktail last night, you’re among the 62% of Americans who drink alcohol. If you woke up this morning and swore off it, you may be among the half who want to moderate how they drink. There were many mornings when I woke up hungov- er myself — so often that I kept a kit ready: ibuprofen, ramen, and Gatorade. Of the many signs that your drinking may be out of control, none is clearer than anticipating a hangover with this level of detail. The culture around alcohol is changing, with younger generations adopting a more mindful approach, and an explosion of sophisticated non-alcoholic adult alternatives. At the same time, binge drinking re- mains at record levels, and pandemic drinking habits have persisted despite a return to normal conditions. It wasn’t just me, nor is it limit - ed to those with severe alcohol use disorder (AUD, commonly known
morning, I found myself curled up on the couch crying uncontrollably — this time too low for even alcohol to soothe. My son, only two at the time, tried to comfort me, nuzzling into me as he said, “It’s OK, daddy.” My heart shattered: I’m supposed to be the one to comfort him. I felt as though I had failed as a fa- ther, but I hadn’t. Reaching out for help was the first step toward becoming the father my son needed. I swallowed my pride and checked myself into an outpatient pro- gram. After getting help through thera- py and holistic practices such as medita- tion, nutrition, and positive psychology, I realized I was not the only one whose life had been overwhelmed by alcohol.
as alcoholism). Many people face chal - lenges with alcohol, even if they don’t meet the criteria for AUD. It may be time for a new approach. Mindful drinking is about choices you make for yourself. It’s not a one- size-fits-all mentality, nor does it re - sign you to a lifetime of drinking bad coffee in a church basement. It offers solutions to our current problem that fit within the framework of wellness and mindfulness — one that focuses on what we gain and not necessarily what we lose. It was critical for me and may have even saved my life. Bad Medicine As a beverage professional, I worked
This experience opened my eyes to the broader struggles many people face with alcohol, even if the details differ. And even if others didn’t have the same problem as me, they had problems nonetheless. But the goal isn’t to compare suffering. Instead, it is to find a path we can all take that allows us to address drinking in a way that acknowl- edges the health risks of alcohol and its effect on people with prior ad - verse experiences, such as myself. I realized that, while our struggles may look different, our need for compassion and support is universal. The solution, however, is not universal. For some, it means giving up alcohol. For others, it means finding a path to moderation. For ev - eryone, it means addressing the way we drink in a comprehensive way. Mindful Drinking, Explained For the majority of Americans who want to change their relationship with alcohol, they might not have a story like mine; but they fall along a spectrum of drinkers who, through peer pressure, social conformity, or habit, have integrated alcohol into a life that also feels somewhat out of their control. For those with the most severe circumstances, they might need additional support from their doctor, therapist, or peer recovery groups like AA and SMART Recovery. However, for the rest, mindful drinking is a welcome solution. Mindful drinking isn’t a prescription for how to live; it’s an aware - ness of how you want to live. Mindful drinking can be best defined as
in one of the heaviest drinking professions: hospitality. It’s a profes - sion characterized by long hours, high stress, and late-night to early morning drinking. One in five hospitality workers have substance use issues, according to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA). I saw it first hand working with grizzled old line cooks and lifelong waitresses. They had one rule and one rule only when it came to drinking — no matter how much you drank the night before, you still showed up for your shift. As a 16-year-old, when I first started working in restaurants, that did little to offer a respon - sible framework for drinking. The occasional drink soon became a nightly ritual after work for me. By the time I was in my thirties, my nightly ritual progressed to a bottle of whiskey. I rose in the ranks to become one of the most recognized bartenders in the U.S. I won numerous awards, ranging from “Bartender of the Year” ( Imbibe Magazine , 2015) to opening the “Best Cocktail Bar in America” (Spirited Awards, 2017). But my success wasn’t enough to quell the emotional instability I felt from my unaddressed mental health stemming from the adverse experiences of my youth (I would later be diagnosed with bipolar disorder). At a young age, alcohol had defined my life in ways that were far out - side of my control. I watched my father leave due to his own struggle with substances. Later, my foster sister Tina died in a drunk driving incident. As if to prove alcohol couldn’t hurt me — though it already had — I drank with abandon. Alcohol became a soothing balm, but
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PATHWAYS—Winter 24-25—9
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