understanding others. The way questions are phrased greatly affects the person’s ability to respond. Open-ended questions with an infinite number of possible answers may be too confusing, so start with simple yes/no or short- answer questions. Instead of asking, “What do you want to eat?” try, “Do you want pizza?” Some individuals may respond yes or no when they do not really understand what is being asked; thus it is important for parents to share how they understand what their child wants. Whenever possible, offering choices promotes independence and respects the individual’s preferences. Suggest only two or three options so as not to be confusing. Some individuals with autism repeat the last words they heard. If this seems to be the case, to be sure they are answering as they intend, reverse the choices. For example, first ask, “Do you want to ride your bike or scooter?” and then “Do you want to ride your scooter or bike?” If they consistently choose the last option, show the two items to make the choice clearer. In some cases, it takes a little longer than usual for an individual to respond, so allow extra time before moving on or repeating the question. Although sometimes it may be obvious what the person wants, encourage him or her to request it in whatever form they are capable (attempting the sound, giving a picture of it, signing, using a full sentence, etc.) before providing it. If Jayden says, “Outside,” but the family has said that he can say, “I want to go outside,” prompt him to say that before going out. This will help him to learn that he needs to speak fully with everyone he encounters. Whenever the individual communicates appropriately, be encouraging and provide positive reinforcement so he or she will be more likely to do so again. Perhaps the most important thing providers can do to help the individuals they are caring for to understand them is to choose their words carefully. Speak as simply and clearly as possible. For example, break activities down into small steps, give one direction at a time, and avoid expressions that could be confusing (“What’s up?” or “That’s cool!”). Phrase directions as what to do instead of what not to do: “Sit, please,” instead of “Stop jumping on the couch!” Praise should be frequent and specific, such as “Thank you for cleaning up!” or “Good reading!” (depending on their comprehension level) rather than a vague “Good job!” Also, keep in mind that their understanding of language is
likely very literal; if a provider states that she will do something “in a minute,” the individual may get upset if more than sixty seconds go by and it is not done yet. Explaining what will happen at each stage of the respite time may also help reduce anxiety, and visual supports can be a great way to do this. They can be written lists if the person can read or pictures if something even clearer is required. Families may already have visual supports in place, or providers can create schedules for the day, choice boards (pictures of available options), or instructions for completing activities like making lunch or getting ready for bed. Getting the person’s attention before speaking to him or her and keeping a calm yet firm tone of voice may also help. Providers may be surprised and pleased to learn how interactions with individuals with ASD can improve when they deliberately focus on interacting in ways they can more easily understand. It is most important for respite providers to be incredibly vigilant when responsible for someone with ASD. No matter their age, they may not recognize basic dangers such as a hot stove, busy parking lot, or deep water or realize they could be hurt if they suddenly run into traffic, climb onto the roof, or hide in a tight place. What providers learn from parents about the person’s functional level is much more important than their actual age. The form in the back of this guide can help families share these types of details and prepare the respite provider.
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