MIND • BODY • SPIRIT
Maybe your next therapist shouldn’t be a therapist
bin in a basement or closet. You would put a date in your calendar for a few months out for you to revisit and make decisions. Finally, part of changing your rela- tionship to stuff and facing this barrier is to keep your awareness up for your tendency to squirrel away things for the future when new items come your way. By reducing what enters your home in the future, you can make changes in your lifestyle by acquiring less and let the inflow of new things become more manageable. It means recognizing that impulse-buys, the freebies and the hand-me-downs, and the gifts that come our way can all trigger the “I might need this some- day” barrier. Facing it before it settles in somewhere in your home can be an enormous help for you to maintain how you want to live in your home. If I’m entirely honest, you may let go of something that, in the future, you could have used. You will remem- ber you had it and you parted with it. If you let go of one hundred items, you’ll regret 2 or 3 of them. Amo- ment will come up, and you will say, “Ugh! I had that, and I got rid of it!” You may be upset with yourself when it occurs to you, “I could have been more prepared for this than I am right now.” What you will also likely dis- cover quickly is what you needed is replaceable, accessible elsewhere, bor- rowable, substitutable, or your need for it isn’t as strong as you think it is. Let’s also keep in mind that there was also a good chance you wouldn’t even have FOUND the item you needed when you looked for it, even if you “know it’s around here, somewhere...” But between now and that moment, you’ll be living a more peaceful, more enjoyable life in the home you’ve cre- ated around your goals for how you live. The moment of regret? It may sting, but it is fleeting. And, you may never even notice all the stress and regret you DON’T have after letting go of all these things—things you will never think of again. The absence of regret will show up in your life simply as relief and peace. Kathy Vines is a Certified Professional Organizer®, Certified Professional Coach (CTACC), and the owner of Clever Girl Organizing, based in Melrose, MA. Kathy has been helping clients in person and around the world through her Virtual Organizing business since 2013 to un- tangle their relationship to stuff and create the systems they need. She is the author of Clever Girls’ Guide to Living with Less: Break Free from Your Stuff, Even When Your Head and Heart Get in the Way. Kathy speaks about organizing and productivity often, and has been featured regularly in The Boston Globe, Better Homes and Gardens “Secrets of Getting Organized”, “Real Simple Organize Your Home”, and appeared on “Inside Edition”.
can seem harmless for just one item, here or there. After a while, it turns into a room full of things you’ve held onto, only on the chance you might need it someday. Recognize it when it comes up, and then face it with a rationale, which helps put it in your current context of life. “I know that I hold onto things out of worry for the future, but I also know the negative side that comes from this activity. I feel overwhelmed, guilty about my spending, exhausted by the effort it takes to maintain and store items I will probably never use. THOSE are the feelings I want to erase, more so than the feeling of guilt or fear I might need something someday.” The Item-By-Item Review When you are ready to take on the decluttering and face this barrier, decision-making comes down to an item-by-item review. There are many practical steps you can take. The first is to ask yourself some specific ques- tions that help bring clarity to whether you truly need it: “Is this really a need? Or is it a want?” “What is the real probability the ‘someday’ scenario will come about?” “What would I do if that scenario came about and I didn’t have it? How would I move forward?” “Is this something I could borrow? Rent? Substitute something else to do the job?” This is one of the most over- looked concepts as we think about our stuff: What do we just need to AC- CESS, but not OWN? “Could I replace it easily and inex- pensively enough if it turns out I do need it?” Some people use the “$20 and 20 minutes” rule—if you could replace something for $20 or less, and in 20 minutes or less, you’re better off taking the risk of letting it go and get- ting the space and sanity back. “What is the worst thing that will happen if I let go of this item?” “What will I gain if I let go of this item?” After you go through your ques- tions, a second step allows you to experiment with a few approaches: What is a category of belongings with which you’re most willing to take risks? Could you start getting comfortable by letting go within a low-risk category? An example might be letting go of extra kitchen eating utensils; there is very low risk you’ll need them again in the future, and on the small chance you did, you’d have multiple ways to fill the need at that time. Can you put some items in a “time capsule,” stored safely away, where they can be accessed in the event of “need,” but they are not taking space nor contributing to your sense of over- whelm or chaos you’re facing now? This would be as simple as a box or
Eric Weinstein It’s Not Therapy (It’s Problem Solving)
Did you know that: • licensed therapists are limited to certain approaches by “standards of care” that leave out a number of highly effective healing modalities? • even if you’re paying out-of-pocket for your sessions, your therapist might be unable to use anything “different” because of insurance company requirements and state regulations? I’m not a therapist, but I always have therapists among my clients. They come to me for: • the most ancient healing modality (shamanic healing) • proven, but more esoteric modalities (hypnosis/NLP and Eye Movement Integration [similar to EMDR, but safer]) • the most exciting new energy modalities (Energy Psychology, such as EFT or “tapping” on meridian points, biofield work, and chakra manipulation) • intriguing coaching modalities (including Motivational Interviewing, True Purpose coaching, and Archetypal coaching) And they come for all the same problems they’ve seen one of their more conventional colleagues for – as well as problems of a spiritual/ energetic nature. So, whether you’re struggling with the new stresses of the pandemic or with older issues that keep you from being who you want to be, call me to find out how I can help. If you’re feeling insecure about money, I’m offering 90-minute sessions for $100 instead of $150. I have a limited number of sliding-scale appointments, and I offer helping and healing professionals two appointments at half-price: only $150.
Have questions or want to set a video appointment? Call 703-288-0400 or email at eric@its-not-therapy.com
MIND • BODY • SPIRIT • ENVIRONMENT www.pathwaysmagazine.com
Find out more about me and my approaches at www.Its-Not-Therapy.com
PATHWAYS—Fall 20—31
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