Vol 11. Edition 4
News from CannaTown
Page 13
Nascar Drivers to Start Delivery for Uber For all those who’ve sat idly by, waiting weeks and even months for food to arrive from DoorDash, Grub Hub or others, word that Uber Eats will begin outsourcing to Nascar should come as music to the ears. “We asked ourselves, why can’t we get a pizza there in 30 minutes like the old days?” said COO Victoria Swanson. “ en it donned on us: because we simply aren’t going 200 miles per hour.” Kevin Harvick, one of the pilot drivers, has been getting Chinese food to homes within around 60 seconds "for some great tips." However one main hangup keep- ing service from full rollout is the amount of food still ying out of the car. "People might be used to dirt on a meal from Domino's or Wendy's anyways, but that's not the kind of assistance we want to provide," said Swan- son, "and the drivers are a little salty about no champagne or trophy at the end."
Man builds rst-of-its-kind button presser It’s never too late to invent, and one Can- naTown man has done just that, with his all- new button presser, essentially a mechanical press that can operate your phone apps without the touch of a hand (as long as your hands are on the press). While the phone must still be manually moved around, and the press must not be used too hard, as it will crush the device, Jameson T. omeson's heavy-duty presser produces immediate re- sults, and can open any app, within seconds.
Impact of Reggae Music on Goats Studied Bob Marley may not be sheepish but his message is no less clear to the wooly beasts, whether the Wailers, Jimmy Cli , or other traditional reggae act: Goats are not only paci ed by the upbeat of a guitar, but by the messages of uni cation and Rasta incorpora- tion of spli s. e only downside, research- ers noted, were the dreadlocks.
Rotten Strawberries for Sale at Kroner Farms You can now pick your own rotten strawber- ries in the heat, surrounded by swarms of mosquitoes and other biting insects, as long as you get up at 5am to do it! e very thrill is yours for the low additional price of $20 for parking, plus all the ies you can eat.
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