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WHEN A FRESH START FEELS SCARY HELPING PEOPLE STEP INTO LIFE AFTER AN UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIP
Spring is often a season we associate with renewal, personal growth, and fresh starts. But what if your life feels stuck even as everything around you seems to be in full bloom? For someone who is on the edge of a new beginning, like a divorce, it can feel scary at first. Everything you knew is changing, you have financial worries, you fear for your children, and you are left wondering how you will ever be able to do this all alone. As a consultation attorney at Bruce Law Firm, I meet clients at that crossroads. I hear all those fears about the financial impact of a divorce, how their role as a parent may change, and the impact on their loved ones. The reality is that many women and men stay in unhealthy relationships for a long time just to protect their children. I’ve been in that very place myself.
become free from that, the world begins to look different. You can finally take a deep breath, look around, and see that you have options. Perhaps you are not as stuck as you feared. That once frightening idea becomes exciting as you see a new pathway to a healthier, happier life. I have always loved the human dynamic, and one of the things I enjoy most about this work is when I can see a light turn on in a client’s eyes. There’s a shift you can see when they realize they can make a different choice, they aren’t alone, and they can do this. I love being the impetus for that. I never knew my own relationship experience would lead me to this work and would be the thing I actually needed to change my own life. After law school, my first job was with a family law firm, and though I always knew I wanted to help people, I saw just how much I understood what clients were going through. I am that woman who had all those fears and made a change. The universe had a plan for me, and it unfolded as it was meant to. Coming to Bruce Law felt like another call from the universe. Humans crave to be heard, and to every potential new client, I give a kind ear. When a client sits across from me, I’m fully engaged, not just because it’s my job, but because I am genuinely interested in how I can help them. It’s never just about the legal side of their experience. It’s about sharing the resources available so they don’t feel stuck and alone in that moment. You have freedom of choice. I always ask clients, “If nothing changed and you stayed on the exact same pathway you are on right now, are you happy? Is this good enough for you? If there’s something you can change, are you ready to do that?”
In my role, I’m there to make a genuine connection with a potential client and let them know I’m listening right from the start. I provide them with a clear overview of what’s next, practical tools to navigate the process, and guidance on how to move forward. But, more than anything, I’m there to learn who they are and help them see there is safety, freedom, and peace ahead. When you are in an unhealthy relationship, you have blinders on. The moment you
Usually, people know there is no way they want to stay on the same trajectory.
If you are on the edge of a fresh start right now, take a deep breath. The moments of fear will pass, and you have options. At any point, you can make a different choice for your life, one that leads to growth and peace. If you need help, I’ll be there to listen. –Jaimie Karas
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LISTENING TO YOUR GUT AGAIN REBUILD YOUR SELF-TRUST ONE CHOICE AT A TIME Divorce has a way of shaking your confidence, like the trust you once had in your own judgment. After months or maybe even years of second-guessing or being told you were in the wrong, you may find yourself struggling to make decisions or opening up to anyone. Relearning to trust yourself is a crucial part of your healing journey. By being compassionate to yourself and taking small steps, you can reconnect with yourself and start trusting your instincts again. NAME THE HURT HONESTLY. You’ve been through a lot, and it’s normal to feel unsure of yourself. To trust yourself again, you need to first acknowledge the pain and legitimate feelings you’re going through. Don’t judge yourself harshly, but try to recognize that the self-trust issues are the result of how you were treated in the past. By building awareness of the emotional triggers you developed to protect yourself in a bad situation, you can spot them in your present-day reality. Ask yourself if your self-doubt is rooted in old nervous system patterns or is truly about what is in front of you today.
Dresses From the Sky PARACHUTES TURNED INTO WEDDING GOWNS
Most wedding dresses come from boutiques or family closets. But in the 1940s, some came from the sky. During and after World War II, brides across the U.S. and parts of Europe walked down the aisle in gowns made from parachutes. Equal parts scarcity and sentiment contributed to the development of this tradition. At the time, budgets were tight. Brides-to-be faced fabric rationing, and the military got most of the nylon. A parachute offered yards of strong, clean material, making it valuable. But for some couples, the biggest draw wasn’t the fabric. It was the story tied to it. One of the most famous examples is that of Major Claude Hensinger, who was forced to parachute out of a burning bomber. The chute delivered him safely to the ground and served as his bedding while he waited for rescue. He proposed to his girlfriend, Ruth, after returning home and suggested she use that same parachute for her gown. She hired a seamstress to construct the bodice and gathered the skirt herself using parachute cords. The finished dress, inspired by one from “Gone With the Wind,” now sits in the Smithsonian. Another bride, Carolyn Martin, made her own parachute dress after her fiancé, Chuck, survived a training flight crash. Carolyn transformed his parachute into a wedding dress using the sewing skills she had picked up in eighth grade. It is now part of the San Diego Air and Space Museum’s collection. A far more elaborate dress is stored at the National Museum of the United States Air Force. It originally belonged to an Air Force family and was pieced together from nine parachutes used in combat. One of the most meaningful parachute dresses, though, came from a displaced persons camp in Germany. Two Holocaust survivors, Ludwig Friedman and Lilly Lax, married at the camp in 1946. To make the wedding dress, Ludwig bought a parachute from Allied troops, and Lilly hired a seamstress using cigarette rations. Two more brides at other camps borrowed their dress before it was preserved at the U.S. Holocaust Memorial Museum.
FIND YOUR INNER VOICE. In your past relationship, you may have been lied to, gaslit, or manipulated into thinking you don’t know what’s best for you. But the truth is that you are the one person who knows yourself best of all. Practice listening to your gut instincts. If something doesn’t feel right, honor your own wisdom. You can spend a little time each day with positive affirmations that can remind you how capable, worthy, and smart you are. You may not believe them at first, but in time, you are going to regain that essential belief in the power of you. TAKE SMALL STEPS FORWARD. You don’t have to start with big decisions right away. Challenge yourself each week to make small but meaningful choices just for you. It could be as simple as picking out meals you want without checking in with someone else or deciding to take a new fitness class. This is practice for trusting yourself again, and you will improve as you go.
Parachute nylon was never meant to be heirloom fabric. But during a time of shortages and uncertainty, that’s what it became.
Is your friend or client married to a controlling, manipulative, narcissistic husband?
OUR BOOKS CAN HELP!
The book can be downloaded for FREE at DivorceInformationBooks.com
If you are looking for legal support you can trust throughout the process, we’re here to help. Contact Bruce Law Firm to schedule a consultation.
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CREATE FINANCIAL BOUNDARIES WITH A SEPARATE BANK ACCOUNT STARTING YOUR NEXT FINANCIAL CHAPTER
When a marriage begins to unravel, emotions are not the only thing at risk. Your financial stability may also be in jeopardy. One of the most critical steps you can take during a divorce is opening a separate bank account early in the process. This move protects your ability to pay bills, buy groceries, care for your children, and hire legal help. Waiting and hoping everyone will play fair can leave you without the funds you need to move forward. FINANCIAL INDEPENDENCE Having your own, separate bank account is a step to protect yourself and your future. It gives you a safe place to store funds you need for your everyday costs,
as well as the new life you are planning. You will be able to rest easier knowing your money won’t be suddenly drained by your partner, as it could be with a joint account. You get to have full autonomy over your spending, allowing you to make financial decisions on your own. This will also give you a deeper understanding of your individual finances. DISPUTE PREVENTION The end of a marriage is an emotional time, and money matters can be greatly impacted by those feelings if your spouse is upset about the divorce. You may be at a point where you can’t trust your soon-to-be ex with the joint account anymore. When both people have their own finances, it can prevent disputes and protect you from retaliation attempts. It creates a boundary line that can’t be crossed and ensures both parties have the money they need to feel secure. RISK REDUCTION Complications can arise when you share an account with your spouse, especially when it comes to liability and debts. In a joint account, your ex’s spending can impact your credit score, and if they have any debts, creditors could take it from that shared pool of money. By dividing your accounts early in the process, you can focus on your independent financial responsibilities and obligations, rather than their potential money mismanagement. As you embark on this new chapter, creating a separate bank account will ensure you have the financial means and freedom you deserve. Contact Bruce Law Firm to learn how to safeguard your money before the court freezes the funds.
SPINACH ARTICHOKE PIZZA
BLF attends forum club lunches.
This deep-dish pizza recipe is fancy and easy to make, delivering all the flavor of a cheesy spinach-artichoke dip in a baked-pizza form!
INGREDIENTS •
1 loaf frozen bread dough
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7 oz artichoke hearts, chopped Several handfuls of fresh spinach
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2 tbsp garlic herb spreadable cheese 1 cup shredded mozzarella cheese 1/2 cup shredded gruyere cheese
Pepper, to taste
DIRECTIONS 1. Thaw dough according to package directions and let it rise for 2 hours. 2. Preheat oven to 450 F. 3. Coat a 10-inch cast-iron skillet with non-stick spray, then gently stretch dough to fit. 4. Spread garlic herb cheese evenly across the entire dough layer. 5. Sprinkle mozzarella and gruyere cheeses evenly over dough, reserving a small amount of each. 6. As the topping, scatter chopped artichoke hearts, followed by a layer of torn spinach leaves, and then the reserved cheeses. Add black pepper to taste. 7. Bake for 15–18 minutes, until the edges are golden brown and crisp.
Ashley reaching goals outside the office.
Inspired by BlueBowlRecipes.com
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Bloom Again After a Change page 1
Brides Who Wore Parachutes
Remember Your Own Wisdom page 2
The Money Move That Brings Peace of Mind
Spinach Artichoke Pizza page 3
A Formula for Financial Freedom page 4
‘MONEY DATES’ FOR CALMER DAYS BREAK AWAY FROM BUDGET BURNOUT
Whether you’re married, dating, or still single, you’re about to read dating advice that could change your life. No, this isn’t a romantic advice column; this is an inside look at “money dates.” What are those? Well, if you’re constantly stressed about your money to the point where you’re tracking your accounts multiple times a day, the following may give a fresh perspective on your finances … and free you from the cycle of budgetary burnout. DON’T LET YOUR MIND DRAIN YOUR MONEY. If you anxiously follow every penny you spend throughout the day and jump to attention whenever you receive a banking notification on your phone, it may surprise you to learn that these habits can harm your bottom line more than help it. A University of Chicago study revealed that tracking one’s spending too frequently can actually overwhelm people emotionally, to the point they’re more likely to make careless financial choices. Similar to how an obsessed
dieter may become discouraged and descend into binge eating if they don’t see sufficient weight loss, constantly worrying about bank balances could lead you to burn your bridges to greater wealth before they’re even fully built. USE YOUR CALENDAR TO ORGANIZE YOUR CASH. Instead of putting your mood to the test through compulsive cash check-ins, select a monthly “money
date” to review your overall financial standing and plan for your future. By picking a specific date to review your numbers, you can gain a more accurate and comprehensive understanding of your regular spending habits and identify unnecessary expenses that can be adjusted to achieve greater flexibility. For example, seeing that you spend $80 a month on coffee may be jarring at first, but viewing the bigger picture may help you develop a more reasonable budget for caffeine than worrying every time you grab a $4 cup on your way to work. Income, expenses, debts, and positive/negative purchasing patterns are all things to explore on your “money date.” Just like other kinds of dates, timing is everything. Choose a date and time when you (and your spouse) are typically relaxed and distraction-free before diving in! You may be surprised by how these “money dates” can help reduce your overall frustration, anxiety, and perceived need to let money overdraw your mental health.
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