LISTENING TO YOUR GUT AGAIN REBUILD YOUR SELF-TRUST ONE CHOICE AT A TIME Divorce has a way of shaking your confidence, like the trust you once had in your own judgment. After months or maybe even years of second-guessing or being told you were in the wrong, you may find yourself struggling to make decisions or opening up to anyone. Relearning to trust yourself is a crucial part of your healing journey. By being compassionate to yourself and taking small steps, you can reconnect with yourself and start trusting your instincts again. NAME THE HURT HONESTLY. You’ve been through a lot, and it’s normal to feel unsure of yourself. To trust yourself again, you need to first acknowledge the pain and legitimate feelings you’re going through. Don’t judge yourself harshly, but try to recognize that the self-trust issues are the result of how you were treated in the past. By building awareness of the emotional triggers you developed to protect yourself in a bad situation, you can spot them in your present-day reality. Ask yourself if your self-doubt is rooted in old nervous system patterns or is truly about what is in front of you today.
Dresses From the Sky PARACHUTES TURNED INTO WEDDING GOWNS
Most wedding dresses come from boutiques or family closets. But in the 1940s, some came from the sky. During and after World War II, brides across the U.S. and parts of Europe walked down the aisle in gowns made from parachutes. Equal parts scarcity and sentiment contributed to the development of this tradition. At the time, budgets were tight. Brides-to-be faced fabric rationing, and the military got most of the nylon. A parachute offered yards of strong, clean material, making it valuable. But for some couples, the biggest draw wasn’t the fabric. It was the story tied to it. One of the most famous examples is that of Major Claude Hensinger, who was forced to parachute out of a burning bomber. The chute delivered him safely to the ground and served as his bedding while he waited for rescue. He proposed to his girlfriend, Ruth, after returning home and suggested she use that same parachute for her gown. She hired a seamstress to construct the bodice and gathered the skirt herself using parachute cords. The finished dress, inspired by one from “Gone With the Wind,” now sits in the Smithsonian. Another bride, Carolyn Martin, made her own parachute dress after her fiancé, Chuck, survived a training flight crash. Carolyn transformed his parachute into a wedding dress using the sewing skills she had picked up in eighth grade. It is now part of the San Diego Air and Space Museum’s collection. A far more elaborate dress is stored at the National Museum of the United States Air Force. It originally belonged to an Air Force family and was pieced together from nine parachutes used in combat. One of the most meaningful parachute dresses, though, came from a displaced persons camp in Germany. Two Holocaust survivors, Ludwig Friedman and Lilly Lax, married at the camp in 1946. To make the wedding dress, Ludwig bought a parachute from Allied troops, and Lilly hired a seamstress using cigarette rations. Two more brides at other camps borrowed their dress before it was preserved at the U.S. Holocaust Memorial Museum.
FIND YOUR INNER VOICE. In your past relationship, you may have been lied to, gaslit, or manipulated into thinking you don’t know what’s best for you. But the truth is that you are the one person who knows yourself best of all. Practice listening to your gut instincts. If something doesn’t feel right, honor your own wisdom. You can spend a little time each day with positive affirmations that can remind you how capable, worthy, and smart you are. You may not believe them at first, but in time, you are going to regain that essential belief in the power of you. TAKE SMALL STEPS FORWARD. You don’t have to start with big decisions right away. Challenge yourself each week to make small but meaningful choices just for you. It could be as simple as picking out meals you want without checking in with someone else or deciding to take a new fitness class. This is practice for trusting yourself again, and you will improve as you go.
Parachute nylon was never meant to be heirloom fabric. But during a time of shortages and uncertainty, that’s what it became.
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