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The Bledsoe Firm JustFamilyLaw.com | 949.363.5551 MARCH | 2021 The Social Nightmare
WHAT YOU CAN DO AFTER A BAD FIRST IMPRESSION
This is a situation we’ve all been in more than once in our lives. I’ve been there, and everyone I know has too. You’re moments away from a big interview, a meeting with a major client, or a first date. You want to make a stellar first impression. After all, you are more than aware of how critical a first impression can be. It all happens in the first seconds of meeting someone. You don’t have a lot of time, and yet, so much can occur in the blink of an eye. Then, you meet. You shake hands, introduce yourself, and make an attempt to break the ice. And during those four seconds, you do “that thing” you desperately tried to avoid. You bomb the handshake, say something unintentionally insensitive, make a joke in poor taste, or you say the wrong name. Or you’re so focused on not making a bad impression, you come off looking like a complete dud. You’ve set the stage for yourself. The other person is already making assumptions about you — judging a book by its cover . And the cover isn’t looking so great. Their assumptions may be wrong, but that doesn’t matter. They’re being made regardless. It’s completely unavoidable and a part of who we are.
other person may completely forget about it within a matter of minutes.
Reestablish yourself. After a bad first impression, you’re likely to still have the rest of the conversation or meeting ahead of you. Use the time immediately after your flub to recover. Show the other person a different side of the “first impression you.” If you tried to play up your sense of humor and told a flat joke or made a nonsensical off-hand comment,
take a break from comedy. We all have different and varied personalities and you don’t want to rely too heavily on one aspect. Let yourself be multidimensional.
Apologize. There are instances where an apology may be necessary. You don’t have to say, “I’m sorry about my first impression.” The goal isn’t to draw more attention to the flub but simply to acknowledge your mistake. A bad joke or the wrong name deserves a quick “Sorry about that,” and maybe a brief explanation, if warranted — but refrain from making excuses. And, if you do apologize, be succinct and move on. Give yourself a second chance. Remember not every first impression is a last impression. Even if you screw up a first impression, you may have more opportunities to make up for it and build a strong relationship with the other person. You just can’t be hard on yourself. I know I’m guilty of that from time to time. Remember, the person on the other side knows how critical a first impression is and may be more than willing to look past a rocky start — but you too have to be just as willing. We all still have many first impressions ahead of us. Hopefully, this advice will help you get a little more out of your next first impression. —John Bledsoe
What can you do to recover?
Accept it and move on. Some first impressions don’t matter as much as others. Sometimes, first impressions don’t matter at all. But you must make the distinction. There are times when you need to push forward and get it out of your head. You may have stumbled, but you may have the opportunity to get back on track and continue the conversation. Remain forward-thinking and don’t dwell. Plus, your first impression might not be as bad as you think and the
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WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU LEMONS ... Scrub the Microwave
Lemons don’t just add a tart flavor to your favorite desserts or cool you down in a refreshing drink on a hot summer day. In addition to bold flavors, lemons also have powerful cleaning properties. Their acidity and oils cut through grease and can sanitize many of your household items.
The best place to clean with a lemon is in the kitchen. For the microwave, simply juice a whole lemon into a bowl of water, then plop the used peels into the bowl. Microwave the mixture for a few minutes, let the bowl cool before removing it, then wipe away the grease in the microwave. You can also use this method for your oven. For odor-blocking properties, you can use a lemon as an air freshener. Leave half of a lemon in your refrigerator to trap and block potential smells and toss old lemon rinds down the garbage disposal. Run the disposal to clean the blades and freshen up the sink. As for your kitchen tools, don’t toss them out without trying this lemon trick first. Start by sprinkling salt on a wooden cutting board, then slice a lemon in half. Using half the lemon (flesh- side down) like a sponge, scrub the board really
well. Wipe and remove the leftover lemon juice and rinse the board before using it again. Not only will the board appear cleaner, but it also won’t smell as bad, and the bacteria will be gone. You can also use this method to polish dining ware, spruce up copper, and even remove stuck-on food from plates. Now, here’s the real secret: Once you master kitchen cleaning a la lemon, you can use these same principles to clean other parts of your house. For example, salt and lemon can be used to scrub grimy sinks and faucets, while a few squeezes of lemon juice in a cup of water makes an excellent cleaning solution for mirrors and windows. You can even make your own reusable cleaning spray by fermenting lemon peels — and the peels of other
M ental H ealth I ssues , Y our S pouse , and Y our I n -L aws citrus fruits — in white vinegar for two weeks. Remove the peels after two weeks and spritz the mixture over surfaces you need to clean! IT RUNS IN THE FAMILY
M ore than 50% of the population will be illnesses have a genetic component, it’s not unlikely that your spouse will have a mental illness or comes from a family with a history of mental illness. Instead of worrying about what could happen, learn how to live life normally as possible and cope with challenges. Set boundaries. If you have issues with your spouse’s family, it’s okay to set boundaries. Share your concerns with your spouse and set some rules. If they’re diagnosed with some sort of mental illness in their lifetime. Since most mental comfortable with it, limit visits with their family to once a week or once a month. Let your spouse know you love and accept them and their family, but you need boundaries to manage your feelings, too.
Learn about their illness. Your spouse’s family is your family, too. Instead of worrying about them, try to understand them. Learn about their illness and the ways it presents itself. Learn how to be an ally to them and better understand how they express themselves. There doesn’t have to be any ill will between you. Don’t be afraid to say “enough.” On the flip side, don’t overexert yourself trying to fit in. If your spouse’s family isn’t making an effort to get help or make you more comfortable, you may need to draw a line. Their mental illness does not excuse them from being rude or disrespectful to you. Find others to help you. Confide in your spouse or other family members about the problems you’re facing. If your spouse grew up with family members
who had a mental illness, they will be familiar with how to deal with them and they’ll have valuable input. They’ll help you learn about mental illness and how to not get taken advantage of. If they won’t help, get help from a therapist or support group. Determine if your spouse has a mental illness. If your spouse comes from a family with bipolar disorder, narcissism, or any other disorder, it doesn’t necessarily mean they’ll have that same problem. Talk to them in a nonjudgmental way about their mental health. See how they feel, and if there is concerning behavior, ask them if they want to seek help before things get worse. For more informative articles like this one, be sure to visit our blog at JustFamilyLaw.com/ family-law-expert-blog!
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W ord S earch Aquamarine Basketball Butterfly Clover Daffodil Green Ides Leprechaun Madness Spring Tangerine Women
HOW TO GET YOUR KIDS TO EAT BETTER (W ithout T hem E ven K nowing ) Do your kids get enough fruits and vegetables in their diet? If your kids are like most, the answer is probably no. You want them to eat more nutritious foods and less processed junk, but kids don’t make it easy. Getting the average kid to put a serving of broccoli on their plate can be a huge chore. Good nutrition is more important than ever. Food manufacturers have built an entire industry to take advantage of our kids’ propensities. However, a diet of highly processed foods — the kinds of foods kids love — can lead to a whole host of problems, including establishing poor dietary habits that carry over into adulthood and hindering brain development. A poor diet can also lead to behavioral issues as numerous studies have indicated, including those published in Clinical Nutrition and Annals of Neurology. How can you get your kids to eat healthier? Often, it comes down to presentation. Plopping a serving of plain old veggies on a plate is not appetizing. Rather than thinking of vegetables as a side dish, think of them as an ingredient. Take lasagna, for example. Most kids love lasagna. What they don’t know is that many ingredients in lasagna can be replaced with vegetables. Instead of using lasagna noodles, use zucchini. Simply slice the zucchini along its length into thin, noodle-like strips. Then, layer as you would typical noodles. The same can be done with other pasta dishes as well, such as making zoodles (zucchini noodles) for spaghetti. You can also try giving your child a choice. Say something like, “You can have the cauliflower or you can have the broccoli. It’s up to you!” Stress that the child gets to choose. Studies have shown that when kids feel in charge of a decision, they’re more likely to embrace that decision, even if it’s choosing between two vegetables. Lastly, the easiest way to get kids to eat more veggies is to hide them in foods they already know and love. For example, did you know you can make brownies with avocado and black beans instead of flour and butter? Check out some new recipes online for even more ideas. The bottom line is that you can add a lot of nutrition to your family’s diet without making it a chore!
GREEN GODDESS SMOOTHIE
Inspired by AmbitiousKitchen.com
If you’re looking to get your green on, why not try this light smoothie?
INGREDIENTS
• 1 1/4 cup unsweetened vanilla almond milk • 1 organic apple, peeled and chopped • 1 medium frozen banana
• 1 1/2 cups fresh organic spinach • 1 tbsp chia seeds • 1/2 medium avocado
DIRECTIONS
1. In a large, high-powered blender, add in all ingredients. 2. Blend on high for 1–2 minutes, or until all ingredients are well combined. 3. If necessary, add in more almond milk to thin the smoothie. 4. Serve immediately and enjoy!
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Inside
How Do You Recover After a Bad First Impression?
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The Best Cleaning Tool Can Be Found in Your Kitchen
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Mental Health Issues and Your Extended Family
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How to Get Your Kids to Eat Better
Green Goddess Smoothie
Make Gardening Better With These 3 Ideas!
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DO SOMETHING BETTER IN THE GARDEN 3 WAYS TO IMPROVE YOUR HARVEST
T here’s something beautiful about cultivating your own harvest, but you can grow more than simple backyard vegetables. Help your garden “grow up” by trying something unique this spring.
Go With the Flow
Plant for Your Health
Creating a year-round garden that practically takes care of itself means using principles of permaculture, a philosophy of working with, rather than against, nature. Start by analyzing your space and yard. Determine your soil type and layer mulch or cover crops to protect it. Then, begin planting the same way that’s found in nature — trees grow at the top, shrubs and bushes are below, and other small plants and vines intermingle within. Choose crops that help each other grow (like corn, beans, and squash), and offer aid to your garden without digging up too much soil or disturbing its natural process. Permaculture gardening requires thoughtful planning, but once your crops are in place, nature will take its course.
Mass production of your favorite fruits and vegetables reduces their key nutrients. Instead, choose fresh, home-grown varieties to yield greater health benefits. This is good news for those living with heart disease, joint disorders, or other chronic conditions. You can grow a garden chock full of nutrient-rich foods! Colorful fruits, root veggies, onions, and beans are great for joint health, while leafy greens can boost heart health. Grow pumpkins so you can harvest the seeds for better brain function, while berries can support your liver. Before you dig into these new gardening methods, consult with an expert at a nursery or greenhouse to get the best possible results.
Grow Fun Foods
We plant gardens for a purpose, so why not make it fun! Plant fresh basil, tomatoes, onions, peppers, oregano, and more to create a garden worthy of your next homemade pizza. All you will need to buy is the crust! Pumpkin plants can offer fresh gourds for any Halloween fanatic, while new species of fruits and vegetables can create an exciting home-cooking experience. Try the silver cucumber for a sweet taste or pineberries for a mix between strawberries and pineapples. You just might find a new flavor you love.
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