Mometrix June 2019
Memo
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JUNE 2019
BEINGA FATHER
My dad passed away in August 2017, just before Hurricane Harvey hit Texas. Since then, Father’s Day has taken on a bit of a new meaning. It’s strange not having him around, but I instead look to my kids and cherish the time I have with them that much more. I became a father in 2006. When my son Benjamin was born, I noticed a difference in who I was right away. In the movie “Paddington,” there is a character who is portrayed as very adventurous. Then, this character becomes a father. He goes from being something of a wild guy to being super overprotective of his child. His entire mindset changes. While this isn’t exactly me, there’s a lot of truth there. When the reality set in that I was a father, I felt an obligation to be more responsible than I had ever been before. It’s a special responsibility to raise a child. When I got married, I felt I became a more responsible person: I filled the role of a husband. But when I became a father and filled that new role, I realized I had this new person who truly depended on me. My perception changed. Along those same lines, I think that when you have a child, you reach a level of maturity you can’t reach any other way. When you decide to get married, that’s one level of maturity. You love your spouse and you live your vows and you care for them deeply. But when you hold your child for the very first time, something clicks — you realize you will do anything for this child. Today, my three kids are 12, 8, and 5, and it’s such an honor to be their father. It’s an honor to be an influence in their lives. They watch and learn from me and their mom. It took a while for it to really sink in how much influence I had as their father. Our kids value what we say and do, and they mirror us to an extent. It blows me away that I am often their entire world and I need to set a great example for them. The fact that they look up to me is just so magical. And I think that is one word that has largely defined fatherhood for me: magical. From when they took their first steps, to when they said “I love you” for the first time — it’s all magical. It’s the impromptu tickle parties or dance parties.
Recently, my youngest daughter, who is 5, got all dressed up and wanted to dance around. She told me, “Daddy, this is our wedding!” and asked Alexa to play wedding music. My heart just melted as we danced around the living room. I think about my older daughter who recently turned 8. Just yesterday it seemed like we were bringing her home from the hospital. I blinked, and now she’s into ballet and coming into her own. She’s become so graceful, and I feel fortunate that I have the opportunity to watch her grow. And Benjamin, who’s 12, is one of the most confident, self-assured people I know. He doesn’t limit his mindset because he’s in a wheelchair. He gets up on stage and performs with more poise and confidence than I’ve seen in any other 12-year-old boy. When I see him out there, I know I must be doing something right as a father. It’s the same when I see any of my kids out there doing what they love. At times, it’s hard to escape doubt — am I really doing everything I can as a father? But my kids constantly remind me in their own ways that, yes, I am doing exactly what I need to do to be the person they need. As any parent knows, it’s hard, very hard, but at the end of the day, there is nothing more fulfilling than coming home knowing your kids are waiting there to tell you all about their day.
–Ja y Willi s
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HOW TO STOP CAREER BURNOUT IN ITS TRACKS WE’RE STRESSEDOUT
In today’s workforce, stress is practically unavoidable. Even when you’re doing something you love and find fulfilling, stress has a way of making itself known. Stress can come from any source — family, coworkers, technology, traffic, and so on. Making matters worse, a lot of us end up working ourselves into mental and physical exhaustion. We get up, go to work, go home, rinse and repeat. Every day, people all over the country are one step closer to career burnout. The reason? They don’t deal with their stress. But it doesn’t have to be this way. In an article on the Fast Company website, Bryan Collins details a few ways you can stop burnout in its tracks (you can read the whole article here: fastcompany.com/3038545 ). Here’s one tip from the article that can help you save your sanity and rediscover your passion — recognize yourself. What does it mean to recognize yourself? Consider what you do every day. Look at your projects or tasks. When you began your career, you may have been pursuing a passion, but businesses change over time. People change, goals change, colleagues move on, new managers are promoted, and executives retire. With all of these changes, you may find yourself with a completely different set of responsibilities than you anticipated ever taking on. No matter if you’re at an elementary school or at a large university, your local community is a huge part of your identity. When you make it a point to get involved locally beyond the classroom walls, you’re doing more than making new connections and reminding people of the importance of your school; you’re also making another positive impact on the place you call home. Summer Is Here Most schools in the U.S. shut down for most of the summer. Of course, I don’t have to tell you that the idea that teachers only work nine months a year is a complete myth! Still, many teachers and other educators find themselves with more free time during the summer than they have the rest of the year. If you’re one of them and you’ve been looking for ways to support your community, donating and volunteering are great ways to take advantage of that less frantic pace to make an even bigger difference in your local community. Support a Local Charity or Nonprofit Group Every town boasts its share of charities and nonprofits looking to make a difference. Find a cause you believe in, then go to work and help out. This could mean activities such as donating to a local women’s shelter, volunteering either on your own or with other educators at the soup kitchen, helping to organize a fundraiser for a children’s hospital, or whatever you can do that will help.
If you’re not working on something you genuinely care about, you will eventually burn out. Refocus your efforts and recognize what it is you love doing. If you no longer have time to work on projects you care about, make the time . If things need to be shuffled around so you can contribute in a way that makes you happy, do it. Discuss reorganizing or delegating tasks — take charge of your workflow. Just remember to take it one step at a time. Make it a goal to find time every day to work on what you love, even if it’s for an hour. That hour will make a world of difference toward your state of mind. This line of thinking comes directly from psychologist Abraham Maslow (of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs fame). When you express yourself in a meaningful way — when you do what you love — you’re happy! You’ve achieved self-actualization, and that puts you on the path to avoid burnout.
MAKEAPOSITIVE IMPACT
Supporting charities has long been known as one of the most fulfilling things a person can do in their spare time, even if what you can do or give doesn’t seem like all that much. And, believe me, your efforts, no matter how insignificant they may seem, will mean the world to the organization and its clients. Do What You Can Of course, not everyone will be able to volunteer or donate, but if you can, please consider it. These suggestions require time and resources to pull off, but making the effort can change your own life, as well as the lives of others.
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STAYINGSAFEDURINGSUMMER TRAVEL
Don’t be flashy. Skip the fancy jewelry and watches. This is especially crucial if traveling abroad. When going out, carry a wallet in your front pocket or travel belt, which can be tucked away under your clothing. There are many destinations, both domestic and international, where pickpockets are on constant patrol for marks. Wallets tucked in the back pocket and purses slung directly over the shoulder (rather than cross-body) are tempting targets. Stay focused. Don’t do anything that draws attention to yourself. Whenever possible, always travel with a companion. Having an extra pair of eyes never hurts. If you encounter a large crowd, and it isn’t clear why they are gathered, keep your distance. Pay attention to your surroundings and keep your head up and your eyes open. And, when traveling abroad, consult the U.S. Department of State website for travel alerts and warnings ( travel.state.gov/content/passports/ english/alertswarnings.html ). It’s always important to know what is going on wherever you may be traveling. When you’re prepared, it’s easier to stay safe, have fun, and return home with amazing memories.
The summer travel season is here! Many of us are well into making vacation plans. You may already have a destination in mind, if you’re not already booked. Whether you’re traveling near or far, it’s important to take a few extra steps to ensure you stay safe and secure. Being prepared can mean everything. Here are three things to keep in mind. Share your travel plans. Before heading off, let friends and family know where you’ll be traveling. Make a copy of your complete itinerary, from airline departures and arrivals to accommodations, as well as your travel plans at your destination. Even make copies of your passport and credit cards to give to trusted individuals back home.
SUDOKU
Inspired by Bon Appétit NO. 1DADHASHBROWNS
Creating golden, crisp, and delicious hash browns at home requires a little diligence and elbow grease, but that’s exactly what Dad deserves to start his special day.
INGREDIENTS
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1 stick (1/2 cup) unsalted butter, or 6 tbsp ghee 3 russet potatoes (about 1/2 lb.), peeled
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1 tsp Kosher salt, plus more to taste Freshly ground black pepper, to taste Pinch of cayenne pepper, plus more to taste
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DIRECTIONS
1. In a small saucepan, heat butter over medium heat until foamy. Reduce heat if needed to avoid browning. Skim off white milk solids to make clarified butter (ghee). Transfer to a bowl and reserve. (This step won’t be needed if using ghee.) 2. Using the large holes on a box grater, grate potatoes. Transfer to a large bowl of cold water and stir until water becomes cloudy. Rinse potatoes under cold water, then squeeze out liquid using cheesecloth or a kitchen towel, removing as much moisture as possible. Season potatoes. 3. In a large nonstick skillet, heat ghee to medium-high. Add potatoes and cook until a crust forms underneath, about 5 minutes. Using a rubber spatula, break up potatoes and continue to cook, adding more ghee if potatoes begin to stick. 4. Cook until golden brown and crisp, about 8 minutes. Drain on paper towels; season with salt, pepper, and cayenne to taste. Serve.
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INSIDE 1 2 Being a Father
Stop Career Burnout in Its Tracks
Become a Pillar in Your Community
Getting Ready for Summer Travel
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Hash Browns for the Best Dad
Influence and the Psychology of Yes
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INFLUENCE
A ROADMAP TO CLOSING DEALS
Business majors and longtime entrepreneurs will be very familiar with this work. And in an age when many shiny new theories on leadership and personal development come out every year, it’s refreshing to revisit a classic that has stood the test of time. Thirty-five years after its original publication, Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion should still be required reading for marketers, small-business owners, and anyone else looking to improve their negotiation skills. Written by Dr. Robert Cialdini, Influence explores why people say yes. A professor of business and psychology, Dr. Cialdini is uniquely qualified to tackle this question, combining scientific data with practical applications. Decades after it was first published, Influence is still considered required reading, with marketing research groups and journals of psychology lauding the book as a “proverbial gold mine.” You don’t have to get too far into the book to see why. Dr. Cialdini lays out six “universal principles” of the human psyche. These include “Reciprocity,” our tendency to want to return perceived kindness or concessions; “Commitment and Consistency,” our tendency to cling to past decisions; and “Scarcity,” our tendency to assign value to things based on their rarity. While these may sound like surface level business concepts, the way Dr. Cialdini uses these principles as a launching point gives Influence value.
With each principle, the author dives into examples of how these psychological elements can be used by you or against you in any negotiation. Take “Commitment and Consistency,” for example. If you are able to get a person to agree with you on several small points, you lay the groundwork for them to agree with you in the future. Conversely, you can be more alert when people try to use this tactic on you. One of the most powerful results of reading Influence is that it helps you recognize behaviors you yourself were unaware of. Indeed,
that’s the whole underlying thesis of Dr. Cialdini’s work: As social creatures, we all have habitual behaviors geared towards finding common ground with others. Once you are aware of these behaviors, you’ll begin to see conversations and negotiations in a whole new light.
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