MENTAL HEALTH
and you know well in advance that there will be no substitute for miles under the belt. For John that meant endless hours peddling through the Wicklow Mountains with, save for the odd wild sheep or deer, pretty much his own thoughts for company. What started out as splendid isolation eventually revealed a darker side. “Pitch black mornings and a half five start, torrential rain, empty roads and deserted fields and time to reflect, too much time. I sensed that inside my head there was a real battle brewing. Despite the obvious positives in my life, it was the regrets - unfulfilled potential as a goalkeeper, lofty career expectations I felt hadn’t been achieved - that dominated. Being able to reflect now on my life from a place of good health and wellbeing, I can see that I was actually struggling with so many aspects of my life that I hadn’t recognised or just ignored.” Suffering in silence As John’s mental health deteriorated, he found himself unable to practice what he now preaches. “I’d listened to Keith on the podcast talk about not wanting to, or not feeling he could talk to anyone about what he was going through. I was exactly the same. I really felt that I couldn’t open up to family or friends, that I had to maintain this manly façade to all those close to me.” It’s dealing with the stigma, or perceived stigma that results in so many people, especially blokes, suffering in silence. John became more and more withdrawn, fighting on occasions to emerge from beneath the duvet. “I was never at the point where I contemplated taking my own life, but there have been a lot of days when I’ve woke up in the morning and not wanted to do anything, wanted to stay in all day, to not interact with people, because it’s just easier not to talk.” Stare into the abyss long enough and you’ll eventually succumb to its darkness. Fortunately for John, his partner, Eibhin, was never going to let that happen, pushing and supporting him to make the crucial first step. It’s one they then made together. “Being able to speak to the people at Suicide or Survive, to be able to use the amazing professional resources that are available for those suffering from mental health issues, became my support. I engaged with a
John Blake pictured with Desmond Reynolds, fellow Keogh Fit team-mate.
John pictured with another one of his team-mates, Phillip McCann.
confront his own mental health demons. “I was physically fit, had a thriving career, a loving partner and was father to two wonderful kids - always had a smile on my face,” said John. “I thought my life was perfect and that I had no issues at all. But all those hours I would spend alone training for the Ironman took me deeper than I’d ever been before. It was a mental journey I just didn’t see coming.” Anyone who has trained for an Ironman event, or has even a passing knowledge of what it entails, will be aware that the physical demands are matched, perhaps exceeded by the mental. Forget the ripped physique or impressive lung
capacity, the real examination takes place in your grey matter. In order to reach the elite fitness levels required to even line-up for an Ironman event you must first survive the journey. Then, to earn the designation IRONMAN you must complete a 3.86km (often sea) swim in under two hours 20 minutes; followed by a 180.25km cycle in less than eight hours ten minutes; and finish with a marathon, yes, that’s 42.20km in no longer than six and a half hours. Even the Half Ironman distance is beyond most mere mortals, comprising a 1.9km swim, 90km bike ride, and 21.5km run. Contemplate taking part in either of these endurance events
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IRELAND’S ELECTRICAL MAGAZINE | 17
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