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JUNE 2023
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And Other Life Lessons From Grandpa
You all know my father, Scott Ashby, and since we work together, you can imagine how he has impacted my life. A profound influence on both of us and the way we run Pacific Northwest Family Law is my grandpa (dad’s dad), Chester T. Ashby. Grandpa was a World War II Navy veteran and assigned to the marine division that landed on Okinawa and Peleliu. He did so at great sacrifice to himself, his new bride, and his baby son (my uncle). After the war, he was one of the first people to settle in the Quincy Valley, where he raised my dad. Grandpa loved boxing. Dad tells me about a time when he was a kid and they visited a friend with a speed bag, and Grandpa just went to town and impressed everyone. Dad also had to deal with bullies in school at a time when kids were expected to resolve these matters themselves. Grandpa’s advice? Never throw the first punch. But then, he taught Dad how to throw a punch. Grandpa showed him the proper stance, the best positions for his hands, and how to land a blow on his opponent that would make a difference. And he followed up his advice with “But always throw the last punch.”
In the law firm, we always prefer to resolve issues by agreement. We send letters, make phone calls, and meet with other attorneys to reach a compromise. Our goal as a firm is always to take principled and reasonable stances. But when those tactics fail, we’re ready to counter with everything we have. While we’re never the first to lose our cool and go on the attack, we’re always prepared to put up a solid legal fight and leave the other side wondering what hit them. On the farm, Grandpa also raised pigs. Of course, Dad would have you believe he did most of the work — I never got a chance to ask Grandpa what he thought. Grandpa would say, “Never roll around with pigs. You’ll both get muddy, but the pigs like it.” Some parties to a divorce are pigs. They like to sling mud and air out dirty laundry. They have fun rolling around in the muck and feel vindicated when the other person does the same thing. It confirms their belief about the world and how it works. We train our attorneys and staff to rise above it, not mud-wrestle with the pigs. Because we’ve found that despite the clownish behavior of such pigs, it is ultimately unconvincing and the behavior of a born loser. When we win for our clients, it’s
because we focus on what is important to get the job done.
Grandpa’s last lesson also involves swine. Another of his favorite phrases was, “Pigs get fed, and hogs get slaughtered.” In other words, you shouldn’t try to take more than you deserve. Asking for what you’re owed will lead to a happy life, but being greedy will result in comeuppance. Some people try to use the divorce process as a means of revenge. Rather than seeking an equitable outcome, they want to make their ex-spouse pay. In some ways, it’s human nature to want to hurt someone who has hurt you, but it’s not a sound legal strategy. Judges see through it, and greed results in many getting “slaughtered” legally. My grandfather wasn’t an attorney, but his life experience gave him a lot of wisdom. I’m grateful for his many lessons; they’ve served my clients, my father, and me well. –Zachary Ashby
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MONKEY AROUND THIS SUMMER
Check Out Some of America’s Best Zoos
Summer is one of the best times of the
prides itself on hosting rare, endangered animals you can’t see elsewhere. It has the world’s largest nocturnal exhibit, and one of the major highlights is the Desert Dome, an 84,000-square-foot indoor desert that maintains an authentic desert ecosystem. This is a must-visit for any animal lover in your family. THE BRONX ZOO You don’t usually think about seeing exotic animals when you visit New York City, but the Bronx Zoo is one of the best places to view animals in America. Opened in 1899, the Bronx Zoo is responsible for many of the advancements relating to animal captivity. This was one of the first zoos to ditch cages for natural environments and create an animal hospital. With over 6,000 species, there’s an animal for everyone at the Bronx Zoo. THE LIVING DESERT ZOO AND GARDENS While the San Diego Zoo is often boasted as California’s largest and best zoo, another zoo is worth checking out. The Living Desert Zoo and Gardens outside Palm Springs has entertained visitors for decades. There are events at this zoo every day, one of the most popular being the keeper connections and animal encounters, where you get up close and personal with the animals while learning more about their habitats and lifestyles.
year to travel. Kids are out of school and want to do something fun every weekend, which can be difficult to accommodate if you’ve already exhausted your local options. If you’re looking to travel, you can visit a beach, take in the sights and sounds of an
amusement park, or spend some time with animals while visiting a zoo. Nearly every state in our country has a handful of zoos or aquariums, but some stand above the rest.
Here are three of the best zoos you can visit in the U.S.
OMAHA’S HENRY DOORLY ZOO AND AQUARIUM The Henry Doorly Zoo and Aquarium in Omaha, Nebraska, is consistently ranked as one of the top five zoos in the world. It
What Co-Parents Should Know About Relocating
Moving is a part of life. We relocate to obtain more space, save money, accept a new job, and for many other reasons. But if you share custody of your children with an ex, the process may be more complex than hiring a moving truck. Washington state has laws dictating when a co-parent can move with their children, and anyone considering relocation should know the rules. Some moves are relatively straightforward. A primary or joint custodial parent can move within the same school district without permission; they must notify their co- parent only. Meanwhile, noncustodial parents can move whenever they like, wherever they want. But they must understand that their parenting plan and ability to spend time with the children could change. For more significant moves, however, a primary custodial or joint custodial parent must submit a request to relocate in writing at least 60 days before the move
per Washington’s Child Relocation Act (CRA). The other parent has 30 days to object. If they file an objection, the matter will head to court, and a judge will determine whether the relocation can occur. To be clear, the court cannot stop the parent from moving. But they can determine whether that parent can take their children with them. Unsurprisingly, objections are more likely for substantial relocation requests, especially those to another state. Both sides will argue in court why the move is or is not in the children’s best interests. A judge will approve or reject a relocation request based on several factors. They will consider the reasons for the move, the objection, and the children’s relationship with each parent. Other factors, like the children’s developmental needs, access to resources in the new location, and the language in the existing parenting plan will also come into play.
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TAKE A BREAK
Though it’s all worth it in the end, adoption is a complicated and stressful process for every family. Military families often have additional questions about adoption and wonder if they’re even eligible to adopt. But while those on active duty face unique challenges, they can also access additional resources because the military supports its members’ choice to adopt. Active service members can receive financial support from the Department of Defense (DOD) when they adopt, with a maximum reimbursement of $2,000 per child plus health care costs. These funds are available for adoption and placement fees, court costs, medical expenses for the infant and birth mother, and counseling for birth parents. Notably, the DOD will not cover travel expenses associated with adoption. However, military families must meet specific requirements to receive reimbursement. The military member must have been actively enlisted for 180 days and still be on active duty when they finalize the adoption and file the reimbursement paperwork. Further, service members must adopt from an authorized adoption agency or another state-sponsored source, and finalization must occur in a U.S. court. Additionally, service members eligible for reimbursement are legally permitted to receive up to 21 days of leave from their commander. The DOD intends this time for the parent to bond with their child post-adoption. But if you are a dual military family, you can only claim leave and reimbursement benefits once. Many military families face extra hurdles in the home study portion of the adoption process. Those who have been stationed in multiple states will likely face additional background checks. Further, home studies take several months, and the family may need to start over if they receive orders to relocate during the study. Adoption agencies often also have concerns about the child’s stability. Prospective adoptive parents should consider family support and other means to create a stable home environment despite the unpredictability of a military career. Every state has its own adoption laws, and families face additional regulations when they adopt a child from a different state or country. If you’re ready to embark on an adoption journey, seek an experienced family law attorney who can guide you. Professional counsel can streamline the process and help ensure you receive maximum benefits for your family. Call Pacific Northwest Family Law at 564-212-2733 to schedule a consultation today. ADOPTING ON ACTIVE DUTY What Military Families Should Know
SOLUTION:
Whether you are a residential parent looking to move or a parent who has received a relocation notice from your ex, you should promptly obtain guidance from a Washington family law attorney. The CRA has stringent rules that relocating parents must follow. Meanwhile, parents who don’t want their children to move have limited time to act and make an argument in their favor. Pacific Northwest Family Law has experience with these cases and can help. Call us at 564-212-2733 so we can learn more about your case and help you secure the best outcome.
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1 | Chet Ashby’s Folksy Life Lessons
2 | Lions and Tigers and Bears, Oh My!
The Rules of Relocating Every Co- Parent Should Know
3 | Can You Adopt During Active Duty?
4 | The Colorful History of Medieval Smack Talk
The Original Rap Battles How Disses Became Poetry
Long before diss tracks, rap battles, and “yo mama” jokes, there was medieval “flyting.” Defined as quick exchanges of witty insults, these poetic slights were popular in England and Scotland from the 5th to 16th century. Flyting became entertainment for royals and was dubbed “court flyting.” While these jests are not well-documented, one flyting event made history. The iconic exchange occurred in the early 16th century between William Dunbar and Walter Kennedie. If you’re wondering what exactly these two “gentlemen” were saying, it would be difficult to quote without including expletives. However, one tame section can be shared here. Dunbar insulted Kennedie by saying: Maggoty mutton, gorged glutton, scurrilous certain heir to Hillhouse, Rank beggar, oyster-dredger, dismal debtor on the lawn, Lily-livered, soul-shivered, cheap as slivers in the millhouse, Bard baiter, thief of nature, false traitor, devil’s spawn.
Now that’s one sick burn!
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