The Importance of Knowing What ‘Not to Do’ FOOD FOR THOUGHT (BY ROSLYN ROZBRUCH)
As humans, we’re faced with daily decisions from easier ones, like what to wear for the day, to harder ones, like what car you should buy. But as you contemplate your choices in decision- making, know this: It’s as important to know what you don’t want as much as what you do want. Many times, I’ve seen people not realize what they don’t want and pick that as their choice. As an example, I will share a personal story. Around a year ago, Michael and I bought a new home (new to us anyway), and Michael wanted to completely redo the backyard. I knew the pool needed to be replastered even before we put an offer on the house. Once we moved in, I told Michael that since we were going to update the pool, we should add in a jacuzzi, too. We then noticed all sorts of other things that weren’t right, and soon, Michael was on a mission to completely remodel the entire backyard. I’m the one usually in charge of the remodeling, but working full time in our business made gutting the backyard an overwhelming thought, so Michael said he’d oversee it. Finding the right people to do the work was a job in itself, but Michael asked around and brought in experts to give estimates and share their ideas. After interviewing several people, we narrowed it down to two: a recommendation from one of Michael’s friends he trusted, and the company that did a great job on our previous house. Since Michael was in charge, I
let him make the final decision, and he went with his friend’s recommendation.
The contractor started the job, and it went down like this: Michael would go to the office at the crack of dawn every day, and I was at the house when the team of workers would show up. I’d see what was going on, have an anxiety attack because something didn’t look right, go in the backyard, and tell them to stop. It wasn’t the workers’ fault; it was the contractor not paying attention to details of what was to be done. So, for example, when the jacuzzi was being added to the pool, it looked too big, and the step into the pool was too narrow. I might not have known what I wanted the pool to look like, but I knew it needed a wider step. The contractor made it right, but he had to rip out the rebar and move it over. And it kept happening! Michael would go to work, something didn’t look right, I’d go in the backyard and say, “Don’t plant the trees until you paint the fence!”, “Don’t plant the vines until you put up the wire to hold them!”, or “Don’t put tile on the jacuzzi, put the stone on the sides!”, and then I’d call Michael while having an anxiety attack and say, “This isn’t right.” Even though Michael was in charge of the backyard, design isn’t his thing, and I’m obsessed with it, so he never noticed what wasn’t right. And even though I wanted no part of the backyard, and I certainly didn’t like going outside all the time and saying, “Stop,” I could easily see what I didn’t want. I didn’t know how I
Michael happy in his newbackyard
wanted the backyard to look — I don’t know plants or construction — but I knew what wasn’t right. The good news is the contractor kept his word and made everything right with us without adding extra charges. And even though the backyard isn’t finished, it’s 90% complete, and it looks really nice. The point of my story is that while I didn’t know what I wanted for my backyard because I don’t have the experience in remodeling yards, I knew what I didn’t want. And even though knowing what’s not right isn’t the ideal way to make decisions, listening to my inner self and speaking up to say, “That’s not right” led me in the direction of what I did want. So, my thought for you is: remember that the next time you’re faced with a decision to make, and you have so many options to choose from, or you’re not sure what to choose, consider eliminating the wrong choices, the things you don’t want to do in your life,
and I bet that will help you narrow down your choices and get you in the right direction so you make the right decisions for yourself.
It’s as important to know what you don’t want as much as what you do want.
–Roslyn Rozbruch
2 • www.rozstrategies.com
888.670.0303 • 3
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