Garry F. Liday Corporation April 2019

Call Us: (503) 620-3531

APRIL 2019

Garry F. Liday Corporation FINANCIAL COACH

RETIREMENT ASSET MANAGERS, INC. A Registered Investment Advisory Firm (RIA)


This year, in honor of April Fools’ Day, I wanted to share a story so funny that you might think I’m making it up. It involves a world I didn’t even know existed, let alone one that I guessed I would find myself participating in. Everyone has seen the Westminster Dog Show, which features majestic canines of all breeds strutting their stuff for stern- faced judges. But did you know there is also a decidedly less snooty version for kitties? Well I had no idea, either. I learned about it accidentally when Louise and I started looking for short-haired Persian cats some years ago. You see, these cats, who feature characteristically smooshed faces (I call it the “Mack truck look”), are fancy, pedigreed animals with genealogy papers and a high price tag. So finding one or three of these special cats isn’t as easy as heading to the local pet store or shelter. Eventually, we came across a reputable, friendly breeder who specialized in short-haired Persians. Unfortunately, her kittens cost about four grand each! Now, I don’t know where you come from, but in my world, that’s a heck of a lot of money

for a kitty, no matter how cute they are. However, the breeder sensed how taken we were with these beautiful animals and made us a deal. She’d drop the price down to $300 under two conditions. The first was that we’d get the cats neutered so she knew we wouldn’t be profiting from them. That was a no- brainer, because we never had any intention of going into the breeding business. The second stipulation was that the cats would be shown until they earned their Grand Champion status, which would serve as a feather in the cap for the breeder. We agreed without hesitation. A few months later, the breeder called. “It’s showtime,” she said. “I’ll come by and pick the cats up in a couple of days.” “Oh, we’d actually like to bring them, if that’s okay,” we replied. “We’re excited to see what a cat show is all about.” Let me tell you, I’m very glad we did. A cat show is a wild, weird, and wonderful experience. Some of the attendees show up in trailers that cost six figures. For them, showing and breeding cats is a full-time endeavor. Others are decidedly less professional, resembling the stereotype of the crazy cat lady. Everyone, though, was friendly, kind, and helpful. And as you can imagine, we needed all the help we could get. Unlike in a dog show, the cats don’t parade around a ring. Instead, they are in their carriers until a judge comes by, takes them out, inspects them, plays with them for a bit, and then moves on. At our very first show, just moments before our group

was to be judged, I spilled an entire daggum iced tea on one of our kitties. It was a mad scramble to clean up our cat in time, but we somehow managed it. I guess you could call that a rookie mistake. At our next show, we got to meet a woman who had an outsized reputation in the Northwest cat show community. Her look was — how do I say it, um — unique. She had a Dutch Boy haircut on the front of her head and a skull-sized butterfly tattoo on the back. As one does when they have a statement piece, she had her head fully shaved in the back to reveal the tattoo. She also had a reputation for enjoying adult beverages. When we met her at our second show, where she was a regular, she was slurring her words. Now, she wasn’t mean or belligerent in the slightest, but you could tell she could get wild. Apparently, that’s exactly what happened the year before. Another attendee noticed us talking to her and came over to save us. “You may get a show later,” he said. We asked what he meant by that. The year before, he told us, our butterfly-loving friend got completely naked and jumped in the ocean during the cat show reception. As it turns out, a cat show can turn into something resembling a frat party under the right circumstances. We haven’t been to a cat show in years, but we always cherish the memories of those one-of-a- kind adventures. Our cats are retired now, but they still know how to strut their stuff! – Garry Li day

Ms. Moneypenny

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