A tour pro committed multiple profanities and was approached by an official the following week. When confronted, the player pointed to an old guy in the gallery and said it was his fault. “That’s my father,” he said. “Ask him what he thinks.” When the rap sheet was explained, Dad replied, “I think you should fine the pr___.” One writer specialising in this genre was Dorothy Parker, who was the Tom- my Bolt of the Algonquin Round Table. She once refused a call from her editor complaining that the copy for an article assignment was late. “Tell him,” she said, “I’m too effin ’ busy, and vice versa.” If you’re going to use it, be as clever as Hogan.
episode that dealt with LIV Golf, Rory McIlroy jokingly said, “ Eff you, Phil (Mickelson)” and took some backlash from fans. Unlike live telecasts where a slip of the tongue dies with the week- end, these Netflix shows will live on forever, like a bad tattoo. I know the PGA Tour has fines and penalties for conduct unbecoming a professional, and they’re not made public. There’s one current player who has been fined so many times, he offered to give a tour official a pre- loaded debit card with $100 000 and was told, “Not enough – at this rate, you’ll be out of credit by the end of the month.” Anger management is pre- scribed in some cases.
Netflix series “Full Swing,” which gives us a look behind the curtain at PGA Tour stars. We hear the word used on camera by even goody-two-shoes like Jordan Spieth and Justin Thomas. Dustin Johnson uses it to describe his golf cart in the opening sequence of the first episode. Golf carts can perform many functions nowadays, but that, I didn’t think, was one of them. In episode 2, Brooks Koepka is the guy you wouldn’t want in a drinking game. In a 40-minute show he shared with Scottie Scheffler, I scored it 9 for Brooksie and 0 for Scottie. Guess who comes off better? Whose shirt would you rather plaster your financial ser- vices logo on? You get the idea. In a later
GOLF DIGEST SOUTH AFRICA 23
JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2024
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